#116 - Samua Azevedo Kormanik - Model/Actress/Life Coach

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They won't hear us talking.
Together.

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Well, when I put it back in, Oh
yeah, hello.

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I always bring the volume down
50%.

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OK, it always kind of skips
right there.

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It was a demo, buddy.
It was a demo, everybody.

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This is actually us playing.
Is it really?

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That's awesome.
I was about to ask if this was

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like, you know, actual like
original music.

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This is ours.
Nice.

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If you came to see us play live
in the 90s, that would have been

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the first song you would have
heard every night.

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So you guys used to have a band
in the 90s?

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We did first with the same way
I'm playing guitar on that.

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Oh, I love it.
Good boys and girls go with

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Chris and Mike show.
I'm Chris, he's Mike, and you

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can find this on Instagram or
Facebook, YouTube, and actually

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we're on live YouTube right now
working on the Chris and

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mikeshow.com website.
And with us today we have some

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WAH.
One person one time said this to

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me and it stuck with me.
She's like, oh, it sounds like a

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kiss.
That's my thought too.

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That's my thought too.
You know some wah, you have to

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exaggerate it too, right?
Some wah.

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You can't, you know.
Now I noticed, I know I did a

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little Facebook stock and you
speak Portuguese.

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Yes, I'm originally from Brazil,
was born, was born there, raised

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there at the beginning of my
life.

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The majority of my family is
still there.

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So yeah, I'm fluent in
Portuguese.

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And then I can also speak
Spanish just because it's wow,

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close enough to Portuguese,
although it's interesting.

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So Brazilian Portuguese
speakers, like if we listen to

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Telemundo or something and
Spanish people are speaking slow

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enough, like we can pick up
about 90% of what they're

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saying.
It doesn't work the other way.

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Hispanics, Spanish speaking
people could not understand

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Portuguese.
So it's kind of an interesting

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dynamic.
Really.

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Here's a question.
I don't know why that is.

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OK, so I work with a lady.
Go ahead.

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I work with a lady whose family
is from Mexico every day.

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So I'll be curious to see what
her take on that is, because

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we've talked a little bit about
that subject, but I can't

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remember what.
I have never come across like a

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Hispanic person who hasn't
studied Portuguese.

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Obviously it's different if they
study Portuguese but just like

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cold Turkey, Brazilians can
understand like I said 7580% of

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Spanish if they speak slow
enough, but it it never works

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the other way.
That's.

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Fascinating.
So my question here is, Mike,

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are we in?
Are we in?

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Where's Portuguese?
No, where Brazil?

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Are we in Brazil?
No, I'm in Ohio.

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No.
No, no, no, no, no.

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Meaning our show, we're in 20
countries.

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I'm asking Mike, are we?
In Brazil.

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I don't think Portugal or Brazil
is on the list.

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Oh, we got to make that happen.
Well, because now that's why I

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was leading it, see, because
you're up here on the screen.

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So I'm I'm telling you now, you
have to make sure your family

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tunes in when we put your
episode.

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Yeah, I'll plug, I'll plug the
show away.

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And I also have a brother in
Luxembourg, so we'll get you

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guys in, you know, all over the.
Place.

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That's awesome.
We're in 20 countries.

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We would like to be in 200 so.
That would be fun.

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That would be fun.
Yeah, we're trying to get

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everybody from the countries
that are are listening to us to

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join us, but it's harder than
you would think.

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Yeah, you know, the nice thing
now is like with cap cut, you

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can just do the auto translate
at the bottom.

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So even though we're speaking in
Portuguese, you can have cap cut

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auto translate into, I mean,
we're speaking in English, you

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can have auto cap cut translate
into Portuguese and it's like

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90% OK.
Like you know, it might miss a

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few like in between the lines or
like slang type of stuff but

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does a pretty good job.
Cool, yeah, we use this is all

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through an app called Riverside
FM.

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So they do everything the.
Artificial.

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Intelligence breaks it all down
and has all the captions.

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Everything.
I use captions for my own

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business stuff.
I have cap cut but I find

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captions is a little bit more
user friendly for me anyway.

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I don't know.
That's good to know, but.

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Captions.
Captions does the same thing.

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It can do different languages.
I'm gonna.

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Have to keep that in mind
though, that I could bring it

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down to my desktop and actually
put the translation on there.

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That's really cool.
Yeah, cuz then people can hear

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it in the if you have guests
from different countries, even

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if the obviously the podcast is
in English, you should just

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translate it to their natural
language.

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That would be awesome.
I'm going to have to look into

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how to do that.
That could be cool doing doing

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some shorts put up.
Take one short, take the zombie

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short Mike.
We we could put all the

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different languages for all the
different countries and we can

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we can tag.
Them we're going to make that.

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Happen.
I like it.

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Thank you for the suggestion, I
like it.

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Nice.
Yeah, No problem.

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I don't know where we're going.
My job here is done.

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We're done with the cats now.
Leave it on high note.

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While I'm on top.
George casting You ever watched

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Seinfeld?
He's going.

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To leave him on a high note,
leave him hanging.

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So we we have a listener that
tuned in right at the beginning.

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His name's Michael, he said.
Hey guys, looking forward to

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this show, so.
Hey, Michael.

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Michael.
Other than me?

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Did you just plug in onto your
other device, Mike?

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No, I wish I could take credit
for that.

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We also stream on on a on a
thing called Twitch.

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So it's on Twitch and YouTube
every time we go live.

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And because we have, we've
increased our following since

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March from about 23,000 all the
way up.

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We're close in 120 a 120.
Five years.

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That's awesome.
Our.

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Subscribers have jumped from.
About 6000% in the last 10 days

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for some weird reason.
But the benefit of that is

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because we have shorts, I have
shorts scheduled twice a day and

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I'm actually moving them to
three times a day because we

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have so many shorts that that it
alerts.

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Like we had a musician on
Joseph, originally from Canada,

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now he's in Oklahoma, that he'd
been following us from the

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beginning and we didn't know
that.

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We had no idea till he was on
the show.

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And then he was like I.
Love your show, I've been

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listening to it for a long time
now.

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Which?
It's so awesome.

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It is.
It's very cool.

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Yeah, so that was fun.
So I was, I was like in Facebook

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stalking a little bit.
You're married.

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You got kids.
Five kids.

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Five kids.
Five kids, yeah, so.

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That keeps you busy.
It does.

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So I have four teenagers and
then a toddler.

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Yeah, let me tell you, having
teenagers and a toddler at the

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same time, Not for the week
apart, like definitely not, no.

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I mean, you have you have a
benefit of four teenagers

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helping look out for the
toddler.

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You think in theory, right?
Are you saying that doesn't work

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out that way?
It depends on which teenager

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we're talking about.
OK, OK.

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What are the What are the ages
of the kids?

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So the baby is 3 1/2 and then my
this is my second marriage.

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So she's my and my husband's
kid.

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She's his only child.
And then the older 4, they're

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almost 161718 and 20.
And the 18 year old is she's

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kind of severely autistic.
You wouldn't when she was

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diagnosed back in 2010, the way
that the diagnosis worked, and I

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haven't dived into the details
of that anymore.

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It used to be that like where
you fell in the spectrum

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depended on how big of a gap it
was between what you could do

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and what a typical person at
that same age as you could do.

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And so.
So it could be it was a

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progressive diagnosis.
You could start as mild if you

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were diagnosed at 2 1/2 because
obviously what a typical 2 1/2

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year old can do is a lot less
than what you expect a 10 year

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old to do.
So she's considered so really

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autistic.
That's been quite the journey

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with her.
She has we both her and I, it

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was, it's been, you know, a part
time job for me and she works

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really hard and we have a
phenomenal team around her.

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I fought really hard to kind of
fight through treatment options

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and, and we've kept everything
holistic mostly with her, as

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well as just great therapist and
such, you know, team A-Team that

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really believes in seeing where
she can go versus being stuck

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where she is.
And so she's come such a long

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way from she progressed into
autism.

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And so she's come such a long
way from being the kid who was

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like smearing shit all over.
A quick question.

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Yeah, not to interrupt you, but
without I know you could do a

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whole show on just that.
Alone.

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Yeah, I could.
And that's a beautiful story.

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What kind of holistic medicine
worked best for her that they

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would prescribe pharmaceuticals
for?

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In lieu of yeah yeah.
Oh, in lieu of yeah, so I guess

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the one thing that I would say,
cuz we've, I've gone through

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windows with her where like
puberty and a couple other like

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life situations where her
behavior did escalate that time.

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So she's actually broken my nose
before.

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Oh, wow.
You know, other issues like that

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and, and her therapist at the
time started to be like, maybe

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want to look at medications,
medications.

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The thing is there is no
medications for autism and you

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can kind of play Russian
roulette and get a child on.

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They tend to put kids a lot on a
medication that's for adults

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with schizophrenia.
There's no long term studies on

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how safe that is for children.
And most adults who are on that

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medication, their life
expectancy is about 50 to 60

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years old.
So it's just like, yeah, no

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thank you.
You know, they sometimes put

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them in ADHD, anxiety,
depression, medications, things

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like that.
But again, nothing is studied or

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long term.
It's not specific for autism.

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And a lot of them have severe
side effects.

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I have a couple of friends whose
kids have had to do that route

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and they've developed seizures,
they've put on more weight, they

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developed other neuroses because
of the medication and things

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like that.
So for her, I happened to I was

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she was diagnosed by a typical
doctor at University Hospitals,

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which is a great system right
here by us.

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And she gave me this reading
list and one of and I left there

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and went right to the library
and checked out several of those

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books.
And one of them was called

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Facing Autism.
And this mom talked a lot about

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how she, you know, cleaned up
her son's diet.

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So they went gluten free, dairy
free.

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And then she did a lot of
research and she spent, I don't

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know if he was her only child,
which that was difficult.

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By the time Naomi was born or
Naomi was diagnosed and

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regressed, I already had four
kids, you know, so that's and

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very close in age.
And I was in an unhealthy,

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unhelpful relationship.
So there was just a lot and but

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with a little bit of energy and
mind space, I had thankfully,

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this book really guided me a
lot.

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And then from there I came
across an organization called

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National Autism Association and
they had a conference coming up.

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So I attended that and the
conference was really what we

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would call now like it was
called biomedical, but now it's

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really what we would call like
functional medicine.

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It's really under that umbrella
nowadays in my in my opinion.

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And so I originally was a pre
Med person, so science,

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medicine, all that stuff I was
really familiar with.

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And a lot of these doctors were,
there wasn't no research for a

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lot of this autism, you know,
the, the increase in numbers

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were still recent, you know, 10
years, 15 years ago when she was

229
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,160
first diagnosed.
And so a lot of these doctors

230
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,680
were in the trenches doing the
research as things were going

231
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,960
on.
But I what really impressed me

232
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,480
too was that the doctors that
were there presenting, they were

233
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,240
all all sorts of doctors.
There was doctors that had been

234
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,040
filming practitioners for 20
years.

235
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,200
Some were, you know, GI
specifics, some were just

236
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:11,080
everywhere in the medical field,
but every one of them had a

237
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,600
direct link to autism, was
frustrated with the lack of

238
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,360
knowledge and options out there
for treatment, and then decided

239
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,600
for the sake of helping their
nephew, their own child,

240
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,520
whatever the situation was, to
then like dig into things.

241
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,600
So the main thing for sure was
going gluten free for her.

242
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,080
She is she was really dairy free
for a long time.

243
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,560
Now she's like mostly dairy
free, but gluten till this day

244
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,200
cleaning up her environment.
So like right away I went to

245
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:42,000
using just plant based cleaners
and like my laundry no longer

246
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,200
smells like anything, which is
like I kind of miss the downy

247
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,040
smell but you know it.
But it just cleaning a lot of

248
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,440
that stuff up.
And then after about a year or

249
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,440
so and even that just showed
improvement.

250
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:59,720
Some supplements like we did my
MB12 shots like on her bum for

251
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,160
about a year and a half.
That helped her a lot trying to

252
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:06,640
get her a lot of fish oils.
It was hard at first, but now,

253
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,160
like once she got to be about
6-7 and she learned how to

254
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,680
swallow capsules, that changed
the game a lot, too.

255
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,080
So just vitamin D, magnesium, a
lot of that stuff.

256
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,960
And then the hyperbaric oxygen
chamber that.

257
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,520
Yeah.
So for about a year, I did about

258
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,960
20 to 25 hours a week of her
therapy and that, and that

259
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,880
really spiked up her speech and
calmed her down.

260
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,840
It's known for increasing oxygen
levels to the brain and a bunch

261
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,640
of other things, yeah, like
reducing inflammation.

262
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:41,040
But a lot of kids with autism
have really, really screwed up

263
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,880
guts.
And so the other thing that

264
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,000
hyperbaric does, it tends to
kill off candida, which is a

265
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,480
really strong yeast type of a
thing in the stomach that can be

266
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,440
hard to get rid of and that
irritates them a lot.

267
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,880
So that really boosted her a lot
as well.

268
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,080
And then?
So she had no issues getting

269
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:01,040
into the hyperbaric chamber.
It's huge this, you know, even

270
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,880
the home unit is pretty big.
And what I ended up doing cuz

271
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,280
you know, it was a little
skittish at first.

272
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,800
She used to go with either me or
her older brother for the

273
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,160
majority of the time.
And at this time she was in a

274
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,200
mode where it's like you
couldn't keep your eye off of

275
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,720
her.
So it became like a reprieve for

276
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,000
me cuz it was like, oh great.
For an hour and a half she's

277
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,680
actually just sit still.
But what I used at the time was

278
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:26,400
I began to limit her iPad use
except for in the oxygen tank.

279
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,400
So then it was like, OK, I I
want to go in there because then

280
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,400
I get the iPad.
Exactly.

281
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,680
Reward time for sure.
Yeah, so I used that to to kind

282
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:38,040
of get her on board with it.
And then as she's gotten older,

283
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,440
we reduce sugar a lot.
So she almost never has

284
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,520
artificial sugars and food dyes.
Food dyes is huge.

285
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,440
Yeah, my, we had, we had a, a
guy in the show, a couple guys

286
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,200
on the show. 1 was Nate Palmer,
then was Peter Ho.

287
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:53,040
They're both health Wellness
type things and my wife and I

288
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,040
cut out bad starches, breads,
crackers, things like that.

289
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,160
I used to do roots crackers,
like that was my thing, but we

290
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,600
cut that out.
We're, we've, we've had a fewer,

291
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,600
you know, 3 or 4, five times
where we've kind of stepped away

292
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,640
from that, you know, having
tacos and things, but I didn't

293
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,160
do tortillas anymore.
And just a difference in that.

294
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,640
We're going on maybe two months
now.

295
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,600
It's mind boggling.
Mike doesn't do dairy because

296
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,960
he's allergic to dairy.
I went, I went a year because I

297
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,960
had hyperpyrothyroidism.
I went a year plus being

298
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,560
straight up vegan, which
eliminated all of that stuff.

299
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:26,120
So it's, it's, it's interesting
that that has a, has a a

300
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,800
healthier path with autism
because I worked in the field

301
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:33,200
with, with autistic and, and
Down syndrome mild Mr. Massive,

302
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,560
you know, just I worked at a, a
place called the Marks Center in

303
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:40,480
the East Valley here in, in
Arizona that we had 32 group

304
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,160
homes, all adults mentally
seven, yeah, 7-8 years old.

305
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,360
And it ranged the dynamic ranged
from everything.

306
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,680
You know, we had an autistic guy
that would flap his arms, you

307
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,400
know, right.
We had Down syndrome would just

308
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,160
sit there and self stem, you
know, in the in the break of

309
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,440
just nothing but just this
right.

310
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,440
We had some that actually, you
mentioned smearing shit.

311
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,080
We had a guy that actually would
go in the bathroom and if he was

312
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,400
in there too long, it's like,
what are you doing?

313
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,160
You open up like oh God, really
dude?

314
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,360
Really.
No, I used to have the the girls

315
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,560
used to share a room and it was
huge and and I bought pajamas

316
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:17,560
that zippered up the back and
had specific, it has specific

317
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,360
like fabric around the neck that
supposedly wasn't stretchable

318
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,160
and all.
I mean, I did everything and

319
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:26,160
this girl was Houdini.
I bought like special for the

320
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,360
seat car seat.
I had bought like special seat

321
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,920
belt to go above the seat belt
and I would in like 2 minutes, I

322
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,840
would look in the back of my car
and she'd be, you know, complete

323
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,240
run around.
So she really was Houdini.

324
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,480
And I mean, you literally, I
would open the door some

325
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:44,320
mornings and you couldn't tiptoe
across to get to the bathroom

326
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,520
and start to clean things up
because it was just, yeah, isn't

327
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,640
that.
A joy and I did I lived that

328
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,560
because I worked in that
environment for 13 years and

329
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,680
then I ended up running the
group homes but I still was

330
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,200
there yeah.
So so I feel you been.

331
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:57,520
There.
Yeah.

332
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,240
Well, now she's 18.
For her 18th birthday, we went

333
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,440
to Punta Cana and she and I went
partying at Coco Bongo.

334
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,120
We actually were just in Vegas
and she went to the Shakira

335
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,240
concert.
She works at Outback.

336
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:16,160
She does CrossFit and dance
competitions so we've come and

337
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,200
it but it is still a roller
coaster.

338
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,320
Even the morning that we were
going to Vegas she was like

339
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,840
maybe I can't go to Vegas, I
need to stay home cuz she's just

340
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,600
as nervous about the unknown.
Even though we have been talking

341
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,720
about it for 2-3 months.
Her teachers at school are

342
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,080
trying to help her work through
it.

343
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,520
In the fall, she had a spike in
behavior and she like, she bit

344
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,040
my husband and he had a bruise
in his arm.

345
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,720
So it's not like, oh, she's
cured, right?

346
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:44,640
But 90% of the time, you know,
she's come such a long way.

347
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,680
She's doing great.
And I'm so proud of her.

348
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,960
And, and I wouldn't have met
like, you know, even two years

349
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,760
ago, I wouldn't have thought
she'd been able to keep a job.

350
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,960
And, and, and for her to keep a
job, it took about 3 months of

351
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,520
that being like my part time job
with meetings and following up

352
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,800
with people and staying on top
of people to make sure that

353
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,160
they're applying the right
things.

354
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:08,839
But with the right tools in
place and a lot of tenacity, you

355
00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:10,400
can get it done.
So she works it out.

356
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,839
That's awesome.
Yeah.

357
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,880
What does she do there?
So she's called Fun of the House

358
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,400
support and she mostly rolls
their silverware.

359
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,400
So when they sit you down and
they give you the silverware's

360
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,680
roll, mostly that's what she's
doing.

361
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,839
Sometimes she has to shine the
silverware because they'll come

362
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:26,440
out of the dishwasher clean, but
it has like the water spots on

363
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,359
it.
So she does that as well,

364
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,600
folding the kids menus.
And then every once in a while

365
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:36,040
they'll have her sweep or bus
tables, you know, stack up The

366
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,360
Dirty dishes, things like that.
So the cool reason why I asked

367
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:42,040
that question was you mentioned
that for three months that was

368
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,200
kind of you helped her
transition into that with a

369
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,920
folks at Outback.
That's pretty cool that they

370
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,920
were willing to take on because,
I mean.

371
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,400
Well, here in Ohio, there's an
organization, a government

372
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,840
organization called Ohioans with
Developmental Disabilities, or

373
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,240
I'm sorry, it's called
Opportunities for Ohioans with

374
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,560
Disabilities, OOD.
And so they paid for three

375
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,120
months for her to have a job
coach.

376
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:09,240
So the majority of the work was
actually done by the job coach

377
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,560
that would be there with her.
And then they started to slowly

378
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,600
fade out.
And what kept happening was as

379
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,440
they faded out, hiccups would
come up, you know, and then just

380
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,680
kind of staying on top of
everybody, making sure we're on

381
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,360
the same page.
But Outback has been the manager

382
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,640
there is great.
And even if, you know, she's had

383
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,800
two or three times where she's
gone in for shifts and wasn't

384
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,760
able to stay and you know, and
they work through that and then

385
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,520
she comes next time and she's
good though.

386
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,520
Yeah, Marks.
Marks had the same kind of thing

387
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,320
with a local grocery chain that
was born and bred in Arizona

388
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,080
called Bashes, where we'd have
day programs and we called them

389
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,920
clients.
So the higher functioning ones

390
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,000
would go to Bashes and basically
restock the shelves and refresh

391
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,880
everything and dust and things
like that, you know, not

392
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:55,040
anything extremely physical and
but but yeah, so that's that's

393
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,640
cool.
That's really cool that that

394
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,400
Outback does that.
So right on.

395
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:06,800
I also noticed was that right
that you are your actress,

396
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:12,200
model, fitness instructor, Zumba
instructor, ambassador to the

397
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,280
USA football are one of those
things.

398
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,360
So, you know, you just got to
expand.

399
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,880
I like life resumes.
Life resumes is what I thought,

400
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,840
because you don't just you just
don't wake up, go to work, come

401
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,240
home, go to sleep like you.
You've done things in your life

402
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,080
like Mike and I've accomplished,
you know, things in our lives

403
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,520
that you know other people.
Like having an awesome band in

404
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,720
the 90s.
I think you guys should bring

405
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,640
that back.
We're working on it.

406
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,200
It's kind of why this is here,
right here, because I started

407
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,960
poking and I'm like, dude, we
need to write some more music

408
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,200
because I still write songs.
That's awesome.

409
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,040
And that's how this evolved.
But so I want to know more about

410
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,800
the, the the the actress model
part.

411
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,560
And then I want to go down the
path of, of the fitness

412
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,920
instruction and what is what
there was something else that

413
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,760
you had I lead.
Is that what it was called?

414
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,720
Oh, that's super old.
My husband owns Ohio Sports

415
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,640
Chiropractic and so I work a lot
with that as well.

416
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,680
That's it's become.
It was my full time job for

417
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,240
quite a few years and then in
the last year and a half as I

418
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,720
have ventured into my own
endeavors.

419
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,440
I've been more part time
assisting him, but that is still

420
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,640
one of the things that I do.
But I'm no longer with I lead.

421
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,080
So you really went deep into my
Facebook thing, He.

422
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,480
Does his research.
That's impressive.

423
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,320
So with Ohio sports chiropractor
rehab, anybody, anybody that you

424
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,360
can name drop just out of
curiosity because we're not

425
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,240
we're not.
No, because of HIPAA.

426
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:35,000
OK, but he does work.
You can go on the website or on

427
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,000
the Ohio Sports Chiropractic has
a Facebook page, so every once

428
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,800
in a while you might see some
people tagged on there because

429
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,160
they're willing to tag
themselves.

430
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,280
But I can't actually just close
it.

431
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:44,880
But he does.
The Queen of Flops not going

432
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,280
there.
We'll support him completely.

433
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:50,200
Yes, he works a lot.
He was a runner himself, my

434
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,120
husband, he's one of those
insane people that can run a

435
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:58,360
full marathon in 217 he
qualified for Olympic trials and

436
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,640
so that that you know, 75% of
his clientele or other runners.

437
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:05,360
So he actually works with USATFA
lot and travels with them like

438
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,200
to World Championships and
things like that.

439
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,840
So stateside he's done all of
the Olympic trials and things

440
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,640
for about 10 years.
So he's gotten to treat a lot of

441
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,400
big like the people who have
made Olympic podios for the

442
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,520
track and field.
He's gotten to treat a lot of

443
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,440
those people that you would know
the name names of.

444
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:25,560
And then here at the clinic,
surprisingly, Ohio is, yeah,

445
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:29,440
that was impressive, although,
yeah, that was a hard feat for

446
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,840
sure.
But he stayed.

447
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,880
Ohio has a lot of good runners
and athletes.

448
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,760
So, yeah, he actually treated a
big WWE name that was in town

449
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:44,040
and they were, they were in town
doing one of their smash downs

450
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,040
or whatever it was called.
And he, yeah.

451
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:52,400
And he, he was injured and his
agent found our clinic and there

452
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,960
was a couple of techniques that
my husband does that isn't

453
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,760
common.
And so and he but he, but he

454
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,000
knew about it.
And so during lunch when we were

455
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,880
closed, they pulled in with
their limo and he got to treat

456
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,960
him and right on.
So that was probably, and that

457
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,240
was probably one of his favorite
because it was one of like the

458
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,680
Ogs.
So he remembers seeing him as

459
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,320
like a middle schooler.
And so he really enjoyed getting

460
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,920
to treat him and, and you know,
and chat with him.

461
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,880
Very cool.
Death to Rose.

462
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,280
I would probably know who it is
because that's when I watched

463
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,560
wrestling was, you know, back
when it was cool.

464
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,080
According to I didn't, I didn't
like wrestling, But according to

465
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,240
my husband, he was a big time,
you know, person.

466
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:35,400
So yeah, I bet you would know.
I really think that, and I've

467
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,560
always said, you know, when you
get to be past 13, if you're

468
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,200
still into wrestling, good for
you.

469
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,720
I mean, if that's your thing,
but people are going to make fun

470
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:43,760
of you.
You just got to know.

471
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,840
That you know.
If you're an adult.

472
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,040
My 20 year old's BFF wrestles in
college so I think.

473
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,960
He would have real, that's real
wrestling.

474
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,200
No.
Oh, you mean?

475
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,720
Like.
WWE.

476
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:59,800
Yeah, yeah, like the WWE staff
where fake, fake chair

477
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,200
smackdowns are happening and
what?

478
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,040
For sure, college wrestling is.
It's like still believing in

479
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,880
Santa, right?
You can't believe in Santa after

480
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,680
like 10 or 11.
It's like you can't believe in

481
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,240
WWE and keep watching it.
Unless you're 6 foot 2 elf from,

482
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,280
you know, the North Pole that is
coming to New York to find his

483
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:19,600
father.
Right, which is probably the

484
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,680
type of people that still watch
wrestling.

485
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:23,240
Right, exactly.
True story.

486
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:24,840
Exactly.
True story.

487
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:31,440
Yeah, But yeah, so I have
modeled my whole life almost

488
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,920
since I can remember.
So back in Brazil and one of my

489
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,640
uncles got into photography and
he was just getting started with

490
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,440
his career.
And one day was like, hey, let's

491
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:41,720
come do this photo shoot with
me.

492
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,560
And I was 4 1/2 five, right?
Didn't know any better.

493
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:46,560
Sure.
You gonna get me chocolate?

494
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:50,960
I'll go with you.
And he ended up winning like

495
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,360
national prizes with this one
picture of mine and did all this

496
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:58,120
stuff and so on and off.
I, you know, like I said,

497
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,320
dabbled in modeling and some
commercial work.

498
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,440
Was never able to really lean
into it.

499
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,040
Had a pretty traumatic childhood
and for different reasons, just

500
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,480
didn't have the support and, and
things like that.

501
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,400
And, and then even as a
teenager, kind of got back into

502
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,240
it for a little bit, but same
thing, like I had to really

503
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,320
provide for myself and had no
safety net, you know, starting

504
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,640
at like 1415.
And so just wasn't something I

505
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,720
could really dedicate time to
back in the day.

506
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,840
It was, it was, it's a lot of
harder than people think and

507
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,760
being in the industry.
So back in the day, you know,

508
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,360
you had to go in person for an
audition.

509
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,560
And often these auditions are
like your agent is calling you

510
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:36,600
up.
Like, hey, there's an audition

511
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,880
like tomorrow, you know, or you
might have a 48 hour turn

512
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,040
around, especially back in the
day when it was all in person.

513
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:48,440
And then if you got a call back,
usually those were 24 to 48

514
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,640
hours notice.
And then, and you still don't

515
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,160
know if you're going to have the
part right because you're going

516
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,480
to even a call back.
You're probably down to like 5

517
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,800
to 7 people and you don't know
you're going to get the part

518
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,480
and, and make the, the money.
And so for me, it was really

519
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,080
hard even as a teenager trying
to kind of stay in the industry

520
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,160
because I, like I said, I had to
provide for myself and I just

521
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,120
couldn't keep missing shifts to
then be like, oh, I didn't even

522
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,960
get the job.
So now you know, I didn't work

523
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,920
2-3 shifts.
I didn't get that income and I'm

524
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,360
also not getting this income.
So it was just hard for me to

525
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,760
lean into it.
And then I trabbled a little bit

526
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:23,600
when my, when my first was born,
he actually was on the cover on

527
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:27,400
the package of the Pampers
inaugural swim diapers.

528
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,840
And yeah, cuz I just got him in
with my agent at the time.

529
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,760
And he, you know, he got the
job, his first, his first job.

530
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,200
He was one for one like a guy
cuz usually you're like one for

531
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:42,040
100.
So yeah, so he got that.

532
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,320
But and I dabbled a little bit
once I kind of moved to Ohio and

533
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,160
try to do a little bit still and
then ended up quickly getting

534
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:52,960
pregnant and having babies once
I think probably maybe a couple

535
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,640
years after Naomi was diagnosed.
I tried one more time but again,

536
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,320
just didn't have the support.
My ex-husband just wasn't that

537
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,600
type of a person and was very
controlling and jealous and

538
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,600
possessive.
So that wasn't a thing he really

539
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:10,440
wanted me to be successful at.
And then my kiddos got into it.

540
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,120
My daughter was a phenomenal
dancer and decided to quit,

541
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,640
which still breaks my heart.
But it's her life to live

542
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,680
because she really was so
talented and knows people like

543
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,560
her original dance teachers.
Currently touring the world with

544
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:26,040
Nicky Jam as a backup dancer.
And a lot of it is knowing

545
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:28,880
somebody in the industry that
kind of pulls you in, but and.

546
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,080
She was gorgeous.
I admire your attitude because a

547
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,040
lot of mothers are the dance mom
kind of moms.

548
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,400
That's why there was a show
called Dance Moms, right?

549
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,160
And those people drive me crazy
when they're vicariously living

550
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,800
through their kids.
So the thing that caught my ear

551
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,120
was it's her life to live,
right, Right.

552
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,600
So as long as she's not hurting
herself, I admire your attitude.

553
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,520
That's.
Yeah, because it's like, you

554
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,640
know, I, I was, I remember
distinctly there was a day that

555
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,480
I was on the step machine at a
newer gym.

556
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,720
I we had just moved to Ohio.
I was in the step machine.

557
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,440
Not really know anybody reading
a book about parenting something

558
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,720
or other.
And it was a Christian mindset,

559
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,800
like background type of a book.
And I just remember, hit it like

560
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,680
there was something that I read
and I don't remember the book,

561
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,240
but I distinctly remember this
moment where it just hit me like

562
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:18,600
my kids aren't my possession.
You know, it's not, it's not

563
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:22,120
like grow up to live this life
that I think you should have.

564
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,080
And that was so common when I
was growing up.

565
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:26,160
I mean my parents.
It still.

566
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,480
Is thankfully I don't think it's
as prevalent.

567
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,600
I know it still is and I agree
with you 1,000,000%.

568
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,760
But like, if you think back to
my parents and my grandparents

569
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,240
generation or our parents and
grandparents generation, that

570
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,320
was so expected.
You were to either grow up and

571
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,680
work on the farm.
If you go way back or you were

572
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,800
expected to grow up and go to
college and be some or go to

573
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,880
work in the factory or whatever,
you had two choices.

574
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,160
Join the military, go to work in
the factory.

575
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,440
Go work in the farm.
Work on the farm or go to

576
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:57,320
college.
You know if you.

577
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,040
Were or be a serial killer.
That's always an option, you

578
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,880
know.
Because, you know, there's that.

579
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:06,960
Yeah, I think for me, even
though I had kiddos young, I

580
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,960
think for me, like I moved here
when I was 6 from Brazil.

581
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,960
My grandma had been here
already.

582
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,600
And then my mom came and it was
just me, my mom and an aunt of

583
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,920
mine and then that aunt kids,
and that was it.

584
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,080
The rest of my family was.
In Brazil and original and you

585
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,240
moved to Ohio?
No, I moved to Boston, so I grew

586
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,640
up in the Boston area, South of
Boston, but South side.

587
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,520
Southeast.
I think nowadays I'm allowed to

588
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,840
come out and say this because
there's a little bit more

589
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,480
understanding and empathy
towards it.

590
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:40,120
But we were here illegally, you
know, we came legally and then

591
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,400
overstayed the visa.
So I grew up with like in that

592
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,160
culture of the illegal
immigrants where, you know, you

593
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,920
got whatever job you got and
you're just thankful that you're

594
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,160
able to work, which is also a
side note.

595
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:57,080
Like it kind of cracks me up
seeing all my like non educated

596
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,080
immigrant friends on Facebook be
so passionate about like these

597
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:05,080
ICE raids going on because I'm
sitting here like these have

598
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,240
been going on since like in
1995.

599
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,000
Like, thank you they're.
Just now taking credit.

600
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,920
For him, right?
It's like, you know, I was just

601
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,320
cuz my daughter and I were just
having this conversation cuz I

602
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,800
guess one of her friends was
really passionate in a

603
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,000
particular way that she's like,
what do you think about the ICE

604
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:20,960
raids?
I'm like, here's the deal,

605
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,640
anybody who's ever been here
illegally going back to the 80s

606
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,680
when you know, I came over in
1988, it's like every single day

607
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:32,720
you woke up and you went to work
knowing that you had the

608
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,520
potential of getting sent back.
Either your job could get

609
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,280
raided, you could get pulled
over for running a red light or,

610
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,240
or stop, you know, whatever.
And you always would hold your

611
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,800
breath like that was it's,
that's been the thing since 1988

612
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,640
across the entire legal, at
least Brazilian community.

613
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,240
So anyways, go ahead.
No, I'm no, I'm agreeing with

614
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,880
you.
I think it's, it's people don't,

615
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:54,720
it's, we've talked about this
before on the show.

616
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,360
It's clickbait.
People will read the headline,

617
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,520
not the story.
And that's how most.

618
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,520
People get their news.
Because and so many.

619
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,200
In America is a goldfish length
like 6 seconds.

620
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,800
I agree with you SO, and that is
a great point too.

621
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:13,040
So many people are quick to
judge without investigating the

622
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,000
whole story.
Like, if you think back to the

623
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,880
way the news was in the 1970s, I
think it ended with Reagan,

624
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,480
where they didn't have to do
this anymore.

625
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:24,440
But they used to have to give
you the opinion editorial,

626
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,680
right?
So if the Republicans made a

627
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:31,000
point, the Democrat had the
right to rebuttal on the news,

628
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,800
that was a law.
They had to do it.

629
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,960
And Reagan ended that.
And, you know, basically said

630
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,560
the news is entertainment.
Which is sad.

631
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,440
Right.
Because yeah, yeah.

632
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,800
I was just telling my daughter
the story, you know.

633
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:46,480
So I remember my mom had a
friend and again, this is 1989.

634
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:50,280
OK, So my mother had a friend
who had been here illegally for

635
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,880
about two years.
She never had a bank account on

636
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,240
her name, never had like.
She had no like.

637
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:58,560
And again, this is 1989 when the
Internet isn't what it is today,

638
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,000
right?
So she had no links to anything.

639
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,320
Like she never had a bank
account.

640
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:06,360
She never like had any.
She always rented a room.

641
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,560
So like, no utilities under her
name, no rent, like she didn't

642
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,240
own a car, like she had nothing,
no paper trail, right?

643
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,960
So she goes to Brazil because
there's always a little

644
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,200
something happened.
She risked it to try to go to

645
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,040
Brazil and come back, even
though she was here illegally

646
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,080
and there was somebody was gonna
do something with her passport

647
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,360
to make it seem like she had an
overstate her visa, blah, blah,

648
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,040
blah.
She comes back and gets stopped

649
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,040
by immigration on her way back
in right.

650
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:32,640
They put her in a room and they
come back two hours later and

651
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:36,000
they had a list of the four
different places she had lived,

652
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,560
even though none of them were
under her name.

653
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,840
There was no utilities, no
phones, no cell phone bill.

654
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,800
Like that's how it exists.
They knew every place she had

655
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,280
worked.
They knew every place that she

656
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,480
had lived.
They knew a couple of people

657
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,320
that she had been associated
with, like friend, like really

658
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,160
close friends and the guy she
dated.

659
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:52,960
Like they had all this
information on her.

660
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,600
That's and she wasn't nobody
like she wasn't like.

661
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,880
Basically living off the grid.
Right.

662
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,440
And she like, you know, she
didn't commit any crimes.

663
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,760
She'd never gotten in trouble.
Like she was really a nobody

664
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,360
know her bank account never had
more than I mean, she didn't

665
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,440
have a bank account, but like
she never had more money, you

666
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,840
know, like she wasn't doing
anything that would have caused

667
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,040
attention, right?
And they were able to pull all

668
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,720
of that from her in 1989.
Well that's Big Brother, because

669
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,040
the Internet, I don't think the
Internet started till like 93.

670
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,720
Right.
I told you I got on Amazon for

671
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,440
the first time in 1993.
Yeah, yeah.

672
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,240
You should have got stuff on
Amazon in 1993.

673
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:27,280
They.
Didn't do that too.

674
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,400
No, I take that back.
It was either 91 or 92 because I

675
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,320
graduated College in 92.
Yeah, I was in, I was in

676
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,040
college, the time when we were
at a friend's house.

677
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,280
Glenn, his name is Glenn.
We were kind of, this is a bunch

678
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,280
of theaters because I got out of
journalism by then.

679
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,880
But so we were hanging out,
doing something, probably

680
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,760
partying, whatever.
But his parents had AOL and

681
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,680
like.
I remember that, yeah.

682
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,360
And it.
Was did you peep my AOL address?

683
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,160
I get so much.
Shape for it.

684
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:58,520
Literally is my first ever
e-mail address and I never got

685
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,200
rid of it.
He might have mentioned that

686
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,720
while we were sitting there
talking.

687
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,360
Trying to figure out how we
won't because he's like, did you

688
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,400
go to like, I was like, yeah, I
said, but it's AOL.

689
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,160
He will.
Who knows?

690
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,120
If it went through.
He went.

691
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:14,120
It's aol.com.
I've got mail.

692
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:16,600
I get, I get stuff like that all
the time.

693
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,960
Every once in a while I'll have
a patient because I'll work the

694
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:22,040
front desk at my husband's
clinic and I'll have a patient,

695
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,760
you know, over the phone like
aol.com.

696
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,840
Like, yes, I'm so happy.
Like, I'm so proud of you.

697
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,600
The reason I can make fun of you
is because I still have a

698
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,720
Hotmail account.
That I oh, that's almost as bad.

699
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,400
Almost, almost.
But going back to the kiddo

700
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,120
stuff.
So coming here illegally, having

701
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,440
all that happen, like I said, I
had a really traumatic

702
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,760
childhood, a lot of issues with
my mom and find, you know, just

703
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,840
poor life choices, finance
stuff, like all kinds, you name

704
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,160
it should, but you know, gone
through it.

705
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:52,240
So I quickly realized like I
need to pull myself up by my own

706
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,320
bootstraps here.
Like I'm responsible for myself.

707
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:58,000
I was actually responsible for
and my siblings and my mom a

708
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,840
lot.
So busted my butt in school.

709
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,920
Thankfully for my 6th grade
teacher totally kind of changed

710
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,120
my mindset about things.
And then I had an eighth grade

711
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,159
teacher couldn't realize I was
smart at this point.

712
00:34:10,639 --> 00:34:12,920
And I had an eighth grade
teacher that was like, let me

713
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,719
see what classes you picked for
freshman year because my parents

714
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,400
weren't my mom, my dad.
I didn't meet my dad until I was

715
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,800
19.
And so my mom like 1, she's

716
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:22,760
barely speaks English.
She's an immigrant here.

717
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,400
She doesn't realize how the
school system works and she

718
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,600
herself wasn't a good or
anything like that, even in

719
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,120
Brazil.
So she wasn't like she didn't

720
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,040
know how anything worked, right.
And so they had this feel about

721
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,280
what classes to pick and there
was 3 levels at our school.

722
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,679
There was like standard college
and honors and blah, blah, blah.

723
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,280
So I had picked all middle level
classes, college and thinking

724
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,280
like, oh, that sounded so hard
and all this stuff.

725
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,480
And then one of my teachers was
like, let me see what you picked

726
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:48,960
for freshman year.
So I showed him.

727
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,000
He's like, yeah, no, like this
is dumb.

728
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,600
Like you're way more smarter
than this.

729
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,239
Like what are you doing?
And then it really wasn't until

730
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:58,160
I got into like freshman year,
like I changed all my classes

731
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,520
into honors because of this
teacher.

732
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,600
I skipped a year in science and
all this other stuff.

733
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,680
And then I basically had this
teacher of mine pick my schedule

734
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,520
freshman year.
And then from that point on,

735
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,720
it's when I was like, oh, OK, I
guess I am smart because I'm

736
00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:11,960
getting A's and all of this.
And this is when I realized some

737
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,960
of that stuff.
So then decided that I was going

738
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,880
to go pre Med.
And then I decided that I wanted

739
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,680
to go into BU's accelerated
medical program, which was

740
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,080
actually harder to get into than
even Harvard, correct?

741
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,800
Because I just wanted to be done
quicker because it's like, I

742
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,120
need to make money quick.
I need to get on with my life,

743
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:34,480
my independence kind of thing.
And I got in to the program and

744
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:38,600
then couldn't go because I was
here illegally and I didn't have

745
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,120
a Social Security number.
And I got.

746
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,320
No.
And I got a lot of financial

747
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,840
grants to be able to attend, so
I was going to pay like less

748
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,400
than 10 grand to attend this
program.

749
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,680
And then they really worked.
I actually kind of just like

750
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:54,120
ghosted them and I don't know
what I was thinking at the time

751
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,480
cuz I knew I wouldn't be able to
follow through and I don't know

752
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,480
if I just thought a miracle will
happen.

753
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:03,320
And my grandma has actually been
AUS citizen since I was 8-9, but

754
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,840
my mom just didn't follow
through with getting our

755
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,600
paperwork done.
And so I could have been legal

756
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,800
all that time.
And then so I don't know.

757
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,400
I don't even know why because I
went, that hit me hard when I

758
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,480
couldn't go there.
But so I just ghosted them

759
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:20,200
because I was scared to tell
them why I couldn't accept my

760
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,400
position and all the money, you
know, and coming out like, well,

761
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,840
I'm illegal and what would
happen?

762
00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,400
And then they they kept
following up with me, following

763
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,640
up with me because they really
wanted me to commit to going.

764
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,160
And then finally I told the
advisor in person because I

765
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:33,560
didn't want to have a phone
call.

766
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,240
And I'm like, I don't know if
these people are recording this

767
00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:37,960
call.
And so I went in person and I

768
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,640
was just like, I'm like, yeah, I
can't, like, I don't have

769
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,400
documentation.
She was like, oh, wait, like we

770
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,000
can help you with that.
You can just join the program as

771
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,240
an international student.
So then for about two weeks, I

772
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,800
was kind of excited.
She was like, that'll actually

773
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,000
help you out because you can get
your visa done and all this

774
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,520
stuff and it'll help you get,
you know, get legal.

775
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:56,840
But it's like, yeah, but then
you have to pay international

776
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,800
student prices.
And I don't know if you know

777
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,440
anything about that, but it's
about double.

778
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:04,200
So I went from having to pay
maybe 10 grand or less to more

779
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,000
like 7580.
I was like, yeah, I can't do

780
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,280
that.
So going back to the kids, it's

781
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,880
like I've had these different
situations in my life where the,

782
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,720
the rug got pulled from
underneath me.

783
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:19,680
And, and you know, and, and now
at 43, I'm still trying to piece

784
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,840
together what, who exactly am I?
What, what do I want to do?

785
00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:24,760
You know, what, what makes me
tick?

786
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,360
What, what makes me passionate
about things.

787
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,480
And, and, and I'm struggling
because I feel there's like 12

788
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,600
directions I could go in and I'm
trying to hone in.

789
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:33,080
I'm like, OK, which two or three
do I lean into right now?

790
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,520
To make you feel better.
That's about the same age that I

791
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:39,640
kind of started to think about I
was in my life if I was right

792
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:44,640
where you're at right now.
I was sober for about 5 years at

793
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,560
that point.
But you're still kind of getting

794
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:47,240
here.
Thank you.

795
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:52,240
Now it's more like 18, but it
it's still fantastic, right?

796
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:57,440
I enjoy life, but I remember
that feeling of who am I now?

797
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,640
You know.
I was a musician.

798
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:04,160
I was a successful musician.
That that was my identity from 9

799
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,920
years old until I became a
horrible addict, right?

800
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,880
I kind of lost my way there.
And I wasn't even a musician at

801
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:12,720
that point.
I was just existing and

802
00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:17,040
surviving.
But kudos to you for, you know,

803
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,240
having the guts to start over
again and looking at it as an

804
00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:22,040
opportunity.
I can hear the excitement in

805
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:23,800
your voice.
You're not sad about that, you

806
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,080
know.
Yeah.

807
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,960
I mean, I think you know what
one of the reasons when you guys

808
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:31,720
mentioned about like talking
about trauma and overcoming it,

809
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:35,520
I think, and I'm actually
starting my own podcast with a

810
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,360
girlfriend of mine.
It's gonna be called the Brian

811
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:41,640
Samoa Show.
And that's kind of the platform

812
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,160
we want to go off of that life
is just always hard.

813
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,800
Yeah.
And I think even before social

814
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:52,640
media, cuz somewhere along the
line from my family, from

815
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,800
culture, there's this sense of
like there's an end point in

816
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,800
life and when you, and it's not
death, like there's an end point

817
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,760
that when you reach that, oh,
from that point on, life is just

818
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,280
like rainbows and, and
butterflies, you know, Right,

819
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,480
right.
And the reality is like, no,

820
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,920
like you can get the job, you
can make the money, you can get

821
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,680
the wedding, like the marriage,
you know, everything you want.

822
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:16,720
And but there is no end point,
you know, and there's always

823
00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:20,640
gonna be like if, if these two 3
or 4 areas are clicking really

824
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,600
well and bringing you all this
fulfillment and joy and all of

825
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,440
that, it's like, great.
But there's gonna be an area or

826
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,480
two that's gonna really suck and
be challenging.

827
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:32,160
Well, and that can turn around
and they can interchange and

828
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:33,880
move.
Which one does what when.

829
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,160
Right.
Like we were saying earlier,

830
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,120
there's always that opportunity
to start over.

831
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:44,000
There's no targets.
You know, it's not when you're

832
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,360
18, you should do this.
When you're 25, you should do

833
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:47,880
this.
You should have kids by the time

834
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:51,120
you're 30.
You, you know, that's such BS.

835
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,480
Your life is your life.
You have one life.

836
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,640
It's your life.
And so many people spend their

837
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,920
entire life letting other people
tell them what to do and who

838
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:01,720
they should be.
You know, it just drags me

839
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:05,360
insane, so much so that I spend
a lot of time by myself.

840
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:10,360
Yeah, and that's where I was at,
you know, because like I the the

841
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,240
way that my childhood was
structured due to my mom's own

842
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,160
issues and stuff.
Like I spent my life trying to

843
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,440
please her and being whatever
version of myself that she

844
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:23,400
needed or that I thought she
wanted so that I could earn her

845
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,120
love kind of thing.
And then I rolled that over

846
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:29,040
right into a marriage to a
narcissist who was pretty much

847
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,480
the same exact way and, and
everything with like, who does

848
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:33,960
he want me to be and how do I
act?

849
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:38,400
And not in like a phony way, you
know, that I think might come

850
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,920
across.
It's just like I, I, you know,

851
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,960
like I, I thought I love this
person.

852
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,920
It was more of like an
attachment psychological kind of

853
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:49,440
thing as well, because I had all
this unhealed trauma that I

854
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,680
didn't even baggage.
But then you know the flip side

855
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,280
of that is when you start to not
care what other people think.

856
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,200
Then you're an asshole then.
They're.

857
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,960
Right, you know, Oh, are you
living your life for yourself?

858
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,280
How dare you?
You know, right.

859
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,280
Yeah, yeah, that's but usually
the people.

860
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,600
But usually the people who think
that though, are the people who

861
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,320
benefited from you being in the
dark.

862
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:13,600
Right.
But that's why they're they're.

863
00:41:13,720 --> 00:41:15,200
Yeah, well, that's not what I
wanted for you.

864
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:16,680
That's not.
What's best for you, right?

865
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,720
To do what I think is best for
you because I know you don't

866
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:21,040
know.
You're just a child.

867
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,760
You're 19 years old, I'm 40.
I lived life.

868
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,880
You need to follow my guidance
because I know what's right for

869
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:29,560
you and they don't.
They don't like you do like you

870
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,240
said earlier with your with
your.

871
00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:33,400
With.
Your daughter and the dancing

872
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,240
thing, I, I championed that as
well.

873
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:37,360
I thought that was brilliant
that you made that statement and

874
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,480
might just beat me to the punch,
but that was fantastic.

875
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,600
That was a great way to approach
that because your relationship

876
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,280
stays strong because she doesn't
resent you.

877
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,120
You didn't force her to do
something she didn't want to do.

878
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,360
Where, like Mike said, Dance
Moms, most mothers and fathers,

879
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,080
mind you, because boys, sports,
things like that, they're so

880
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,680
ingrained with you have to, you
have to, you have to that.

881
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,240
It just doesn't work.
And then it creates that

882
00:41:58,240 --> 00:42:00,000
resentment and then the
fraction.

883
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,320
Yeah, but then you get all these
kids that are just miserable,

884
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:06,600
and not only that, but then the
whole midlife crisis, it's like,

885
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:07,800
it's not really a midlife
crisis.

886
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,120
I think it's just people finally
being like, well, wait a minute,

887
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,840
like I'm looking back and
everything I've done was for

888
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,800
somebody else.
And now I'm in this job that I

889
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,560
don't even like or, you know,
know, like what I'm not

890
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:20,960
passionate about.
And so like you start to kind of

891
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,080
realize like it is my life.
You know, it might happen when

892
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,000
you're 3545, but it's like, you
realize that and you're like,

893
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:28,720
you know what, I'm going to
change jobs.

894
00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:30,840
I'm going to do this.
And and some people go in on

895
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:34,440
healthy route because they
haven't dealt with the baggage

896
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,560
and the trauma.
So then they try to do like a

897
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,200
180, which isn't necessarily the
answer.

898
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:43,800
That's a good point and go
really dramatic with rebelling

899
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,280
against who they've been.
That's not them.

900
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,600
And then they go into other
things that maybe isn't them

901
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,400
either.
But I think midlife crisis is

902
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,240
just more people getting to the
point where they run out of

903
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,240
fucks to give.
Am I allowed to say that?

904
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,520
Absolutely you are.
And then they're like, let me

905
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,680
see who I am and what I actually
even like.

906
00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:03,480
And and so with my kids.
I never really thought about

907
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,080
that, that that's brilliant
point.

908
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,120
Yeah.
You gave me a new way to look at

909
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:07,640
that.
It is.

910
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:11,280
It is not a midlife crisis.
It's that person woke up you.

911
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,360
Know yeah, that's kind of really
what I think.

912
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:17,800
And so with my kids I'm like
like, I don't want them to have

913
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,720
that moment.
And I, and I was just having a

914
00:43:19,720 --> 00:43:23,680
conversation with my, my 20 year
old yesterday about this because

915
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:28,360
he, he, he's 6 foot 7 wow, and
didn't touch a basketball until

916
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:31,520
he was almost basically 8th
grade, but he didn't really play

917
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:32,440
until freshman year.
Wow.

918
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:38,600
His first ever basketball game,
he got fouled and went to the

919
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,840
foul line and did a jump shot
because he didn't know that

920
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:47,320
that's what you do.
And so, but he like decided that

921
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,000
he didn't make the front the 8th
grade team, decided he was going

922
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,720
to play the freshman team.
Thankfully my husband, his step

923
00:43:52,720 --> 00:43:55,760
dad is super supportive.
So was like, yeah, do whatever

924
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,360
he needs to do.
So he and I used to spend hours

925
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,600
in the car driving to all
different kinds of private

926
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,080
coaches and, and getting him
wherever.

927
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,760
And he, cuz he was like, well,
now I want to play basketball

928
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,960
and I want to play in college
and I want to be able to play

929
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,560
post college.
It's like, really, can we just

930
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,240
make the freshman team first?
Right.

931
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,080
But that's where he was at.
And it was just like, OK, like,

932
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,560
let's go.
And he did he got he got into AD

933
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:20,160
3 and did phenomenally well
played from the first game on

934
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:24,760
was starting by his freshman
year by about halfway point was

935
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,600
Co cap like captain in training
kind of a thing Sophomore year

936
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,760
ended up being top scorer
several games even though wasn't

937
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,560
necessarily his role like he did
great entered the portal.

938
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:38,120
Now he's going to AD 2 and he
puts a lot of pressure on

939
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:41,360
himself.
And I try to balance the holding

940
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:47,280
him accountable to what he is
proclaiming he wants, sure, you

941
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,920
know, but also, like, giving him
space because it's like, it's

942
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:53,520
not about me living vicariously
through him and wanting him.

943
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,000
Like, I don't want him to
succeed more than he wants to

944
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,160
succeed.
But as his mom, I'm like, I

945
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,240
don't want you to look in the
mirror like 10 years from now

946
00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:03,640
and be frustrated with yourself,
you know, because because yeah,

947
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,880
like, you just didn't stay as
committed or as on track.

948
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,760
So I would just tell him like,
you know, like I'm just your

949
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:12,880
bumpers, you know, like in a in
a bowling alley and I'm just

950
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,520
trying to put my bumpers up and
make sure that you make it to

951
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:18,080
the end and you knock down some
pins or you knock down the pins

952
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,680
that you want kind of thing.
I always.

953
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,560
Like that's what my parents did
for me.

954
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,160
They set me up for success,
right?

955
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,960
They didn't intervene in my
life.

956
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,040
They didn't say you're going to
do this, you're going to be

957
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:30,040
this.
It was all suggestions, right?

958
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:34,280
You want to go be a professional
musician, I would really suggest

959
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:38,360
that you have a degree in
something right That wasn't.

960
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,120
They didn't force me to go
there.

961
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:43,320
It was solid advice.
And I'd have a hard time arguing

962
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,840
with what I call common sense
logic, right?

963
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,160
When someone tells you if you
move 2000 miles away and you

964
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,720
don't have a job to fall back
on, you know for at least the

965
00:45:52,720 --> 00:45:57,000
first six months, right, you're
going to be right back here

966
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,440
where you started.
See, I have a different mindset

967
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:02,880
with that and that could be the
that could be the immigrant in

968
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:06,680
me that, you know, just kind of
makes a way because like my

969
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:09,200
daughter when she wanted to
dance and she wanted to dance

970
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,680
through freshman year and then
she quit going into her freshman

971
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:13,320
year and she wanted to dance
professionally.

972
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:14,400
And I used to tell her the
opposite.

973
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:17,400
I'm like, listen, when you turn
18, like just go try dance, move

974
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,960
to New York, move to LA.
And this was pre COVID because

975
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:23,200
now post COVID, which is the
benefit of going into modeling

976
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,440
and acting now is that
everything is basically online

977
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:32,480
now, you know, So I self so it's
not the same risk of tying up

978
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:35,720
all this time and potential
losing money working other

979
00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:38,120
shifts.
Cuz you can just do it at 2:00

980
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,200
AM at home, submit yourself tape
and see what happens kind of

981
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:42,880
thing.
And by the time that you have to

982
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:46,240
call off work and go somewhere,
you know, you've got the job.

983
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:51,080
But I cuz I used to tell her
like you one, like the lessons

984
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,440
that you'll learn trying to make
it.

985
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,480
And this was before her teacher
made it because a choreographer

986
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:59,120
that we're, that worked really
closely with our studio.

987
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:02,360
And then her dance teacher
became the choreographer for

988
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:05,200
pretty much the entire Latin
world, reggaeton, like music

989
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,480
videos, artists, you know, tours
and all that.

990
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:10,800
And then her teachers, she's on
her third tour now with a third

991
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,120
different artist.
So like I said, a lot of it is

992
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:15,920
kind of who you know, So she
would have had that going for

993
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,040
her.
But I used to tell all the time,

994
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:21,760
it's like the lessons that
you'll learn trying and working

995
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,840
hard.
And the reality is you can go

996
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:28,960
back to college at any point.
So it's like I always said, I'm

997
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,440
like, I don't wanna be my kids
crutch, but I'm always willing

998
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:35,200
to be their safety net.
And so it's like go try and if

999
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,320
it doesn't work, like you can
come back to home base, reset

1000
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:40,880
and try the next thing you know.
So I feel like.

1001
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,280
If you move somewhere like 2000
miles away without a job, it's

1002
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:49,840
like go bartend, go waitress,
go, you know, cut cut lawns.

1003
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:53,840
Like you figure something out.
If you really want a thing bad

1004
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,080
enough, you figure it out.
We did for.

1005
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:57,600
Sure.
No question.

1006
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,280
The one thing that we had in
common with you in the modeling

1007
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,160
world was, and Chris and Scott
and Rick never saw the side of

1008
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:04,680
it because I booked all the
gigs.

1009
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:09,000
We got rejected 50 times for
every one time that somebody

1010
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,840
would let us in until we develop
some kind of legitimacy, right?

1011
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:14,800
Right.
And you built the name, Yeah.

1012
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,880
You played a lot of Monday
nights at midnight for two

1013
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:18,520
people.
At.

1014
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:22,080
The time.
You know, we so now with the

1015
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:26,400
modeling stuff, you know, they I
was just talking to a few people

1016
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:27,880
who are doing really well right
now.

1017
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,520
One, it takes about two to three
years to start to kind of book

1018
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:33,560
consistently because, like you
said, you have to build your

1019
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:35,360
resume, the legitimacy a little
bit.

1020
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,720
And then two, you know, because
of self tape.

1021
00:48:38,720 --> 00:48:42,400
So people can be any like I
submit to jobs and I've gone

1022
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:44,840
gotten booked in jobs in New
York, in Nashville and I'm in

1023
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:49,200
Ohio.
And so it's like 1 if you book

1024
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:53,800
one in 100 jobs that you submit
for like that's a good result.

1025
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:56,000
That's kind of where we started
at.

1026
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,880
It was, you know, I was a lot
like your son.

1027
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,240
It wasn't good enough to just
know how to play a guitar.

1028
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:03,240
I didn't want to play other
people's music.

1029
00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:05,760
I want to play my own music, you
know, And that's pretty

1030
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,120
arrogant.
Well, it's even more arrogant

1031
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,000
when you walk in somebody's club
that is world famous and

1032
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,400
established and say my.
Band I want.

1033
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,680
To play for you.
And they're like, no, you're

1034
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:19,160
not.
You have to have that kind of

1035
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,560
confidence, you know, like
nowadays.

1036
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,880
Is going back.
I was so stubborn back then.

1037
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,560
I just kept I wouldn't do that.
Now I'm a different person.

1038
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,160
I really am.
I, Chris, will tell me things

1039
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,800
that I did back in the day and
I'm like, that's, I can't

1040
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,120
believe it.
But you can't lose that

1041
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,320
completely.
There's a little bit of that,

1042
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,120
like manifesting, believing,
projecting it out.

1043
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:39,720
There, you know, it's still
there for sure.

1044
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:43,160
I'm just a different person than
that person was, You know, I, I

1045
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:46,240
had that fire and that hunger at
that time for.

1046
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,520
For that particular thing, you
probably.

1047
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:49,920
Have it for something.
Else now.

1048
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,440
Yeah, it was so new back then.
Music will always be my first

1049
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,000
passion.
I mean, that's what keeps me

1050
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:58,080
grounded.
I just have a different approach

1051
00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:59,880
to it than than I did back then,
for sure.

1052
00:49:59,880 --> 00:50:01,280
That's the only thing I cared
about.

1053
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:05,000
I was, you know, to use your
French word fuck that job is.

1054
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,800
What I always said, you know.
I'll find another job.

1055
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:11,680
I'm with the band, you know?
Yeah, but that goes back to like

1056
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,840
whatever you're big passionate
at that moment, you know, you'll

1057
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:18,000
find a way to make that work.
So right now, a couple years

1058
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:21,040
ago, like I said, I went
through, you know,

1059
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,560
disappointment in my teens.
Like I really, I went through a

1060
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,480
really hard about year and a
half of being pretty depressed

1061
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,360
right after I graduated high
school because it's like

1062
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,160
everything I had commonly that
was supposed to be my saving

1063
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,200
grace and I done everything
right.

1064
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:37,280
You know, I didn't go to the the
keggers in high school and I was

1065
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,760
studying hard, you know, doing
all these things to to make it

1066
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,200
into what I wanted to.
But then the rug I still, it

1067
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,680
wasn't good enough because there
was circumstances beyond my

1068
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:46,280
control that I could do nothing
about.

1069
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:50,520
And then I started at the local
Community College and my plan

1070
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:52,960
was like I mentioned my grandma
was AUS citizen.

1071
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:57,040
And then at the time there was
some, there was some like SNAFU

1072
00:50:57,040 --> 00:51:00,600
law thing that I think it was
Bush that did that made it a

1073
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:03,400
little easier to try to get
legal like through your job than

1074
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,400
it used to be for a couple
years.

1075
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,800
So then I was like looking into
that because where I worked was

1076
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:11,120
willing to do that.
So I started going to Community

1077
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:13,800
College and I was just going to
like do that for a couple years.

1078
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,280
Hopefully my papers will come in
in time.

1079
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:17,240
And I was going to reapply to
BU.

1080
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,680
And then in that in that process
end up meeting my ex-husband

1081
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,840
who, you know, promised up and
down that he couldn't have kids

1082
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:28,640
because he and his and he was
older than me and his ex-wife

1083
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,760
and him did have a child.
But he was saying how they had

1084
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,360
to go through this whole hoopla
and it was him and blah blah

1085
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,520
blah.
And it was like 1 damn fucking

1086
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:39,960
time and I got pregnant, which
is good because I love my son.

1087
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:44,040
And you know, one of you guys
made the comment about like not

1088
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,600
being bitter and it's just like
the ebbs and flows in the roller

1089
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,880
coasters.
Not to sound cliche, but it does

1090
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:51,640
make you who you are.
It does.

1091
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:55,480
And other parts of me that I
wish weren't there just because

1092
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:59,120
it's trauma responses and and
neural loops that are created.

1093
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:04,720
Like even I had a really hard
about four like two weeks ago

1094
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:07,400
maybe I had a really hard one
week where it was just like.

1095
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:09,920
It must have been something in
the air because I was right

1096
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,360
there with you.
Well, you know what it was that

1097
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,560
strawberry full moon and like
something else like.

1098
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,720
That was a gorgeous.
Movie like my husband was like,

1099
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:19,960
this is my husband was like this
is what these are the three

1100
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:23,560
things you know, and he's like
just hang tight for like 3 or 4

1101
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,640
days.
So real quick where Chris and I

1102
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:30,480
part ways is I am an empath.
Like the poster definition of an

1103
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:34,760
empath, which is how I write
music and I, it comes to me

1104
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,560
through the universe.
I'm the vehicle, right?

1105
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,880
I don't take any credit for it.
He'll tell you I don't

1106
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:41,920
understand that.
That's not how I'm built, right?

1107
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:45,080
So that's where we part ways.
And sometimes he has to say,

1108
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:47,360
here's how life is and this is
reality and.

1109
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:49,640
So I'm a little bit.
Have to say to him, you know,

1110
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:53,560
here's my I am too, but I'm
always going to be way more the

1111
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,480
give people the benefit of the
doubt or the situation the

1112
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:59,600
benefit of the doubt a little
bit more than most people for a

1113
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:00,680
second.
So I might be a little bit more

1114
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,000
cynical than empath then, if
that's.

1115
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:06,800
Yeah, but but yeah, so like,
not.

1116
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,280
And again, this is really what I
want to explore with our

1117
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:11,840
podcast, where it's like,
whatever you see, especially in

1118
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:15,680
this age with social media, you
know, it's like I if if you look

1119
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:19,080
at my social media, which I know
Chris dug deep there, I do.

1120
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:22,040
I have a wonderful life and it's
beautiful now.

1121
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,560
You know, I'm so thankful for my
husband and the relationship we

1122
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:28,120
have and, and the things that we
get to do and, and the kids.

1123
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:31,520
But even in the middle of all
this wonderful thing and beauty,

1124
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,720
there is still hard.
Unfortunately, my ex-husband

1125
00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:37,520
still stays intertwined.
And so sometimes that comes into

1126
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:41,960
play and you know, like court
stuff and things are still going

1127
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,720
on that can get overwhelming.
But but yeah, like, I just had

1128
00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:46,520
this like week where it was just
really hard.

1129
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:49,560
And I think part of it is just
that neural loop from.

1130
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:54,280
And it's so important that
people recognize that that you

1131
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,520
can have everything go the way
that you want.

1132
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,320
And whether it be that one or
two areas just is going to be a

1133
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:01,760
struggle or some of it is your
baggage.

1134
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:04,960
And you have to be willing to
look yourself in the mirror and

1135
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:09,080
unpack that closet and be like,
oh, like this here, whether it's

1136
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,080
your fault or not that something
happened.

1137
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,880
Like you have to sift through
it, be willing to let it go.

1138
00:54:14,240 --> 00:54:16,920
You have to do the work, as I
always say to myself in my head,

1139
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:18,520
right, We're going to have to do
some work now.

1140
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:22,600
Right, you know, I as a child, I
was actually molested several

1141
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,880
times.
You know, like these, all these

1142
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:26,520
different crazy things have
happened.

1143
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,640
Like, like I said, I, you know,
I had a great, I had a, you

1144
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:32,680
know, hard marriage, hard
divorce, like.

1145
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:35,600
And you know what?
Those make the most interesting

1146
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,400
people.
Well, it always does feel like

1147
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:42,160
if you have to go through.
Yeah, I mean, if they let let it

1148
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,480
grow them, right?
Because unfortunately a lot of

1149
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:46,880
people go through things like
that.

1150
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,840
And my husband's parents was was
people like that.

1151
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,920
Like my husband's another person
whose story is insane.

1152
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:55,200
Like I'm going to plug him that
you guys should have him on the

1153
00:54:55,200 --> 00:55:00,000
show because he has a crazy,
crazy story of like where did

1154
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,640
you come from based on your
ranking?

1155
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:08,480
And just to be such a giving,
loving man that he is with like

1156
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,600
he's 0 bitterness.
Like I struggle with some

1157
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,440
bitterness and unforgiveness
towards certain things.

1158
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:17,520
We like.
He doesn't even have that and

1159
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:19,000
just he's, I mean, he's by far
the.

1160
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:22,080
Strongest person I've ever met
at that myself.

1161
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:25,040
I used to be a very hateful
person, like everything was

1162
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:26,760
negative.
It's my way or the highway.

1163
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:29,320
Pretty much the antithesis of
that.

1164
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:32,080
Now.
I did in that I did a 180 but it

1165
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:37,600
took about well till right now
talking to you I'm still

1166
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,240
working.
I think too, the other thing is,

1167
00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:42,760
like, you can get there like
even my daughter with autism,

1168
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:45,280
right?
Like we've gotten so far and 90%

1169
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:46,840
of the time she's phenomenal.
Yeah.

1170
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,920
But every once in a while, like
whether it's a full moon thing,

1171
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:52,880
whether it's something she ate,
whether it's sometimes we don't

1172
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:56,200
know what it is, Like she just
kind of reverts to some of the

1173
00:55:56,240 --> 00:55:59,240
initial days with the tantrums
and the aggressions and, and

1174
00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:01,560
things like that.
And I think it's like that for

1175
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:03,840
all of us.
I think some of us carry more,

1176
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:07,120
but more baggage or have more
trauma than others and have to

1177
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:09,840
be willing to and, and, and you
have to be willing to look at

1178
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,400
the science of it too, you know,
because I think there's a lot

1179
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,520
more information on that
nowadays than there used to be.

1180
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:17,000
And so you don't have to sit
there and be like, this is just

1181
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,320
how I am or this just happened
to me.

1182
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:22,360
You don't understand.
It's like, no, like, yes, like

1183
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:24,640
this happened to you.
Yes, it'd be so much harder for

1184
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:27,640
you than maybe the person who's
like trauma is just like your

1185
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,320
average trauma of life because
everybody has challenges.

1186
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:33,560
But it's like there is science
behind it, you know, like the

1187
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,920
grooves and the neural loops of
your brain.

1188
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:39,760
And it is learning how to like
interject those and and cut them

1189
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:42,280
short.
But that's one thing I'll give

1190
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:43,960
Chris credit for.
He grew up.

1191
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:47,520
He hasn't talked about it
because, you know, we've been

1192
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,280
sharing your story.
But he grew up in a horrible

1193
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,920
environment and he's one of the
most positive people I've ever

1194
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:55,400
known.
And I've known him for 30 some

1195
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:57,560
years.
I mean, he's the same person

1196
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:01,520
mentally, spiritually,
physically that he was when I

1197
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:05,040
met him.
I mean, he's just always upbeat

1198
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:09,080
and especially when things get
bad, you know, like when we had

1199
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,400
challenges in the beginning with
this show, he would always be

1200
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:13,760
the person that would be like,
it's going to be fine, you know?

1201
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,760
It's going to stick it through.
Yeah, I'm losing my mind.

1202
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:18,360
I'm cussing.
I'm saying words you don't even

1203
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:22,440
know exist and he's over there
going, dude, it's me, mellow up

1204
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:23,480
we're going to get.
Through it, right?

1205
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:24,720
Yeah, 'cause I'm a big.
Believer.

1206
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,400
I love that about him.
Thank you.

1207
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:31,040
I'm I'm a big believer in in in
who you are in your life right

1208
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:32,720
now.
Who I am right now in my life is

1209
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:34,640
is defined by how I was brought
up.

1210
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,520
Everything happens for a reason.
I don't I've never played the

1211
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:39,440
blame game.
My brother plays the blame game

1212
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:41,960
all the time.
I never have because what's the

1213
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:45,080
point?
What's it just all all it's

1214
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:48,040
it's, it goes nowhere.
So it's just you have to accept

1215
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:50,840
the fact, OK, you know, I went
through these things in life,

1216
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:53,880
but those things in life, I had
two directions to go and I went

1217
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:56,600
this way instead of that way.
And because I went this way,

1218
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,360
then those are just stepping
stones that make you the

1219
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:00,800
character, make you the man that
you are.

1220
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:04,320
Even at 55, you still grow, you
still learn, you still evolve.

1221
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:08,160
I'm more patient now than I was
when I was raising my kids.

1222
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,920
And now it's because we have why
you have my 2 grandsons.

1223
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:12,840
And it's just, it's different.
My wife tells me all the time

1224
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,160
there's Anthony's rule, but it's
it's.

1225
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:19,120
You don't.
You don't, you don't see it when

1226
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,680
you're when you're when you're
raising your own kids, you know,

1227
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,760
because you just you don't.
We didn't have examples.

1228
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,720
So we were kind of like pulling
out things out of the air.

1229
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:29,720
And I even told my son in the
older he remembers the

1230
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,040
conversation.
We was at a baseball game and I

1231
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:34,120
was trying to get him to choke
up on his bat and step into the

1232
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,120
pitch when he swung and I was
sitting behind home plate and

1233
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:38,480
and he wasn't listening.
So I literally got up behind

1234
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:41,040
home plate with all the parents
like, dude, pick up your leg,

1235
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:43,240
pick up your leg and then step
this wing, step this wing.

1236
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:45,080
He was so pissed on the way
home.

1237
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:48,040
And then he finally told me why.
And I was like, oh, I was like,

1238
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:49,280
OK, you got to give me some
grace, dude.

1239
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:51,560
I'm a first time dad.
Like I had no example.

1240
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:53,760
I said, so I'm going to make
mistakes, but I will never do

1241
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:55,520
that to you again.
I will never call you out again

1242
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:56,800
in any way, shape and form like
that.

1243
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,640
Because I didn't realize what I
was doing was embarrassing.

1244
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:02,840
I thought I was being a helpful
father, trying to remind my son

1245
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:04,920
step into the pitch.
So you're going to drive her

1246
00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:06,280
further?
See that's so cool.

1247
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:09,240
Just like she did though to take
his side and understand where he

1248
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,080
was coming from is so advanced
in parents.

1249
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,600
You know, forward thinking.
The parents didn't think like

1250
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,080
that.
No, I think it's so important.

1251
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:19,560
That's so cool man, that's a
great story.

1252
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:22,240
Yeah, I think it's so important,
like what you mentioned, Chris,

1253
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:24,920
you know, about evolving and
growing and like how you're

1254
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,000
different at 55 than you were
when you were raising your kids.

1255
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,280
It's like some people just don't
have a growth mindset, right?

1256
00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:33,640
And it's, and that's what that
is like it's just so important

1257
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:37,120
that you know, you are like, it
sounds like that's what you do.

1258
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:39,440
You know, it's like you're
willing to always say like I

1259
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,480
haven't peaked, right, Like I
haven't, there's no target.

1260
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:45,080
Like I'm still learning and
growing and involving in in the

1261
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,000
different aspects.
A lot, a lot of it's because of

1262
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,640
my wife.
My wife puts me in check all the

1263
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:50,640
time and she's been together 30
years.

1264
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,960
So it's, you know, she'll,
she'll reel me in when I need to

1265
00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:55,520
be reeled in and she's really
good.

1266
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:58,160
At SO that's awesome.
We got about 5 minutes left.

1267
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,600
So where, what else you want to
share and where to talk about

1268
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:03,080
what you have upcoming so we can
drive people to you and all that

1269
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,840
kind?
Of yeah, so originally I got

1270
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,680
back into modeling thinking that
I was gonna do that as a side

1271
01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:12,520
thing because I really wanted to
get into my podcast and as well

1272
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:16,360
as some life coaching.
And the premise behind that is,

1273
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:20,320
like I mentioned and we touched
upon in different ways, I am,

1274
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:22,520
I've gone through just about
everything you can possibly go

1275
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:26,240
through, you know, from being an
immigrant, sexual abuse stuff,

1276
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:29,560
traumatic childhood, you know,
narcissistic divorce, things

1277
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:31,640
like that.
And so I just want to be able to

1278
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:34,920
share from that platform and be
able to whoever I'm trying to

1279
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:38,160
help, whether it be through our
podcast episode or coaching.

1280
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:41,080
I can look them in the face and
say, I know what it's like to be

1281
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:44,600
in your shoes, but here's how we
can move past that and, and get

1282
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:48,120
you into where you want to be.
And but then eventually, totally

1283
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:50,720
by happenstance, the modeling
thing became kind of a bigger

1284
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:52,520
thing.
And I ended up being booked as a

1285
01:00:52,520 --> 01:00:54,920
core extra for Superman.
Cool.

1286
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:59,520
Who comes out on the 11th?
So I've got to be on set.

1287
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:01,600
Yeah, thanks.
I got to be on set for seven

1288
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,400
days.
I got to be a police.

1289
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:05,000
Police officer.
There's going to be a scene

1290
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,320
where he's like walking through
a crowd and he goes into a

1291
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:08,920
building and there's a police
officer by the door.

1292
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,000
So one of the days I was that
police officer.

1293
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,080
So sometimes it might be me,
sometimes it might be not.

1294
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,880
When does that come out?
It comes out July 11.

1295
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:18,720
Awesome.
But I don't really know like if

1296
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:22,640
and when I'll make I know that
my back, you know my me walking

1297
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:26,080
towards Superman.
So my back and my hair made the

1298
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:28,960
previews.
So we'll see what we know where

1299
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:31,080
I end up there.
But I also got to work on Happy

1300
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:33,960
Gilmore too.
So that comes out and I again

1301
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:36,240
have no idea how the final edits
will work.

1302
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,400
Couple of the TV shows, Friends
and Neighbors, which is a big

1303
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:40,920
show that everybody's been
talking about.

1304
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:44,000
So the did you end it We.
Did we watched the?

1305
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:47,040
OK, so the episode at the end
where they have the body dead in

1306
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:50,680
the in the house, the big, the
big fat guy is like dead on the

1307
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:52,960
ground of the house.
If you watch that again, the

1308
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:55,880
medical examiner in the back
behind the detective talking,

1309
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,400
that's me.
So you get to see me on that.

1310
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:01,360
So, yeah, so I have some of
those fun products coming out.

1311
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,680
But the biggest thing is
definitely the podcast coming

1312
01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:07,920
out, The Brian Samois show, BRY
is my girlfriend's name.

1313
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:10,920
And then and Samois show, we're
gonna have a website, Brian

1314
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,880
Samois, where we're gonna launch
initially more of the podcast

1315
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:18,120
stuff, but then eventually some
blogs and the coaching, the life

1316
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:19,560
coaching stuff that I'm excited
about.

1317
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:20,600
Cool.
That's honestly.

1318
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:22,560
So how do people find you online
right now?

1319
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:24,560
Just.
So you can find me on Instagram,

1320
01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:31,200
Samaua Kormanik S AM
UAKORMANIKMICKEY.

1321
01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:32,720
No, I'm just kidding.
That's me OU A/C.

1322
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:38,480
So Samaua Kormanik on Instagram
that's probably and then the

1323
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:40,800
same thing for Facebook.
So that's mainly the two places

1324
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:43,360
right now.
And then I am on a couple

1325
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:46,200
episodes of my husband's
podcast, which is called Mind

1326
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:50,200
Body Marathon and The Runner.
The runner tie there.

1327
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:53,040
Yep, Yep.
So there's an episode called I

1328
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:55,320
Hate Running.
OK, which is me.

1329
01:02:55,720 --> 01:02:57,240
I'll check it out.
Everybody hates running.

1330
01:02:57,680 --> 01:02:58,800
Everybody hates running for the
first.

1331
01:02:58,840 --> 01:02:59,160
Month.
No.

1332
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:00,320
I've been running for like 12
years.

1333
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:03,080
I still hate it.
But I did run 12 miles today.

1334
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:06,240
I have a full marathon coming
out because my brother, who I

1335
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:09,680
love dearly and love to have him
visit, who usually comes from

1336
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:12,920
Luxembourg only for like a
handful of days, he's like, hey,

1337
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:15,560
I'll come for 10 days if you and
I do this full marathon and it's

1338
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,920
a trail marathon, which I've
never done, no.

1339
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:19,960
The trails are simple because
we're running Nick and I

1340
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:21,760
runners.
We've probably done marathons,

1341
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:25,400
but the trail ones are so much
more fun because you're up and

1342
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:26,440
down as terrain.
It's not.

1343
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:28,680
Yeah, I don't.
I mean, I think our definitions

1344
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:31,160
are fun and different.
My definition of fun is dancing

1345
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:34,720
and Zumba and it's.
Going to go by quicker because

1346
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:36,440
you have so many different
things to look at.

1347
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:37,520
Why?
I hope so.

1348
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:40,120
Run with music it'll.
Help.

1349
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:41,880
Yeah.
But yeah, so check out, if you

1350
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:44,000
guys are runners, check out Mind
Body Marathon.

1351
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:47,320
It's on Spotify and all that.
But the episode I hate Running,

1352
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:49,160
I'm on that one.
And then there is an episode

1353
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,280
where my daughter is on, We did
one on autism and Naomi pops in

1354
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:54,240
at the end so you get to see her
as well, OK.

1355
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:55,600
Real quick.
Yep.

1356
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:58,080
Everybody give a shout out to
Michael because he watched the

1357
01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:00,280
whole episode and he's.
Michael.

1358
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:02,400
Great show tonight guys, so
thank you very much.

1359
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:03,760
Michael, thank you.
That's awesome.

1360
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:07,880
So we wrap everything up with
don't let the bad days when

1361
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:09,880
somebody will miss you, Somebody
Loves You.

1362
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,800
Don't leave a home in somebody
else's heart because.

1363
01:04:11,800 --> 01:04:15,480
You're feeling bad.
Today, go talk to somebody, go

1364
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,440
to bed tomorrow, it's going to
be a better.

1365
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:19,040
Day.
Tomorrow's always a new day, and

1366
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:20,600
that's what I always try to
remind myself.

1367
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:24,920
Always a better day for my Chris
Dunham and Sumoa Kormanic.

1368
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:28,400
This is the Chris and Mike show
and take next time see you, love

1369
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,240
you please.
Love you too man Aw.

1370
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:40,000
So there you go.
We don't want to fly in this

1371
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:46,440
door to you.
Look the table, go inside, feel

1372
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:52,800
the teeth for your life long,
your journey.

1373
01:04:52,920 --> 01:04:57,200
This is the place where you will
go.

1374
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:01,480
Feel the trail behind your eyes.
Feel the sound and need.

1375
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:07,720
Take a moment, look at you and
see it.

1376
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:11,680
Fight the battle.
That's you Mark Wheel.

1377
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:16,080
Fight the battle, but you Mark
Wheel.

1378
01:05:17,040 --> 01:06:21,200
Who is this baby to your feet?
The.

1379
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:42,520
Come down here.
You haven't found something.

1380
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:46,440
You see your sands from
fighting.

1381
01:06:47,280 --> 01:06:48,440
Wait for the dead.
Wait.

1382
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:51,120
It's.
Closer out here.

1383
01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:55,000
But in the wind you ain't no
creature.

1384
01:06:55,880 --> 01:07:00,960
We're playing found and you took
your grits on the almighty day.

1385
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:07,280
You got a dream.
Who in your life to keep our

1386
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:13,640
soul in every man.
Take your turn behind your eyes.

1387
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:24,800
Feel the soul revolution now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1388
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:28,720
yeah, yeah.
Take a moment.

1389
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:33,360
We will see you see him quite
the better with you.

1390
01:07:33,600 --> 01:08:04,050
More clear You gotta,
you gotta you gotta you gotta

1391
01:08:04,130 --> 01:08:04,930
you gotta.