#117 - Steve Feldman - Author/Recovered Addict

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And we're live now.
I will tell you, Mr. Dunham, the

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people that are listening on
YouTube live, whatever you do to

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the music, we can talk over the
top of it.

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They can hear it.
I went I went and listened to

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the live version.
Yeah.

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It's perfect.
I just stayed there.

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So for sure I wish it worked
that way on the export.

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There we go.
Steve.

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Please.
Oh, maybe we did.

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Go see the machine.
Oh, Steve.

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Yeah.
What?

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Steve will be back, Yeah.
Little boys and girls, it's the

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Chris and Mike show.
We're having technical

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difficulties.
We are, we are having technical

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difficulties today.
We have a guest named Steve

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Feldman that's here, but he
disappeared and he'll, I'm sure

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he'll come back because you
know, that's how it happens when

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you're having fun with
technology.

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Yes.
So why we're waiting anxiously

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for Steve to return?
How are you, Mike?

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Well, I'm just getting over
being sick, and let me tell you,

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when they say summer colds suck,
they're not kidding.

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I had it for exactly a week.
Oh, that is terrible.

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Yeah, today's the first day I
feel like a halfway human being.

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Right on.
And it was just like a regular

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cold.
Nothing.

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Nothing crazy.
Yeah, one of those stupid upper

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respiratory infections.
I had no energy though.

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It's like every time I get sick
now since I had COVID, Yeah.

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It just zaps every amount of
energy I have in my body for

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like 3 days.
Four days.

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I yeah, I, I can, I can be in
touch with that because it

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happens when I get colds, too.
It's like, what the hell,

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Where's this coming from?
Yeah.

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Can't move.
It's crazy.

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It's crazy bizarre.
I'm a fair weather, feeling good

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kind of guy, you know when I
don't feel good, I'm a I'm a

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typical male.
I'm fucking dying.

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It's all over because when every
guy gets sick, it's the end of

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the world.
Is my is all my stuff good?

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My volume with everything.
You know what?

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I I should watch yours better?
Yeah, Hello.

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Hello.
Hello.

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You can turn up a little bit.
How is that?

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That's perfect.
All right, so, so friendly

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voice.
There you go.

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So again, we have a guest on the
show, but he he bounced for some

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reason, probably technical
difficulties and what not.

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As I can see us now we're
streaming upwards at 96%.

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So we're styling.
So while we wait for Steve to

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come back.
So obviously you've you've

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you've heard of the flood,
right?

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That happened in Texas.
Unbelievable man, right?

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So did you hear, did you hear
the story about the one Coast

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Guard rescue swimmer that was on
scene before anybody and saved

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165 people?
I just read that article right

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before I went to bed last night.
Crazy, right?

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Talk about being at the right
place at the right time, right?

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Absolutely and not to I mean
everybody who passed away is

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tragic.
It's you know, senseless, but

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Mother Nature something happened
back in like the in the same

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area previously because I saw
something come up with Peter

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Jennings talking about a flood
in that Texas area.

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So you know the one catch up
being having those camps along

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Riverside, right?
Because you want to have water.

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Nick and I talked about you want
to have access to water for all

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the fun watery things.
That's one of the side effects,

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right?
You have crazy torrential

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downpours.
Yeah.

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And you, I mean you can't
imagine that you're going to

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have that's probably a hundred
100,000 year, that's probably

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not 1000 year event, you know
that probably happens once every

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10,000 years.
Sure.

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Absolutely.
Which is insane, yeah.

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Look at all the years that these
people that are in television

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saying I went to that camp and
they're in their 40s and 30s

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and, you know, generations of
kids went to that camp and no

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problems.
But when it rains a billion

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gallons and like what, 24 hours,
30 hours, something just a crazy

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short amount of time.
The Kansas City Chiefs owner

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lost a nine year old daughter.
Oh, that's terrible.

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Yeah, yeah.
Which I mean, the one, I mean,

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it's, you know, tragedy is
tragedy, but that will shine

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more light on it because of
that, you know, and as far as

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people jumping on the bandwagon,
like, I saw this thing and I'm.

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I'm all about helping people and
giving back, you know, that,

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right, The heart's in the right
place.

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All that kind of jazz.
But Blake, Blake Shelton and

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Luke Bryan.
OK.

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They took a photo opportunity in
the back of a truck with all the

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supplies.
Oh, we're going to do some good.

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Like, OK, you do good without
the cameras, man, Right.

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Because all because all it was
was promotion.

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All it was was, oh, look at us.
I'm Blake Shelton.

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I'm Luke Bryan.
We're in the back of this pickup

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truck and we're going to we're
going to take stuff to the to

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the folks in dire need.
Well, do it without the camera

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man, right?
So just do it.

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Can you hear me?
Are we still talking?

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Go for it.
Yeah, We're still.

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We're live, man.
We were just waiting for you to

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come back.
So we were talking about the

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tragedy that happened in Texas
and.

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We.
Referenced the, the, that rescue

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swimmer from the Coast Guard
that, that pulled 160 people to

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safety, 165 people to safety.
Amazing.

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And then, right.
And then I brought the fact that

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Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan did
a photo op in the in the back of

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a truck, like, OK, give to give,
man, don't give to sell records.

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Because that's how that comes
across to me.

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Me look.
At us, real people look.

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At us, right?
Right.

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Real people in the in the in the
pit doing it, man.

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Exactly, they're the one like
that Coast Guard guy being the

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first one on scene that that
dude deserves the ACT, but he's

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just doing his job.
But still that's, you know, 165

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souls.
I mean that that dude can do no

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wrong for Oh my.
God.

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Man, you can't.
No, I bet he gets a lot of

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Christmas cards.
I bet.

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Yeah.
Free dinners.

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You know, tacos.
So again, this is that we just

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this will kind of start how we
usually start.

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Hey, this is a Chris and Mike
show.

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We're streaming right now live
on YouTube and Twitch.

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We have Steve Feldman as our
guest.

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So Steve, give us a little
elevator spiel about who you

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are, what you're all about.
So we know how we're going to

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dive into this conversation
because it's always real, raw,

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and relevant.
Well, man, well, this is

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awesome.
I appreciate you guys allowing

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me to get on here man.
And.

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Very nice to meet you.
Thanks for coming on.

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Yeah, nice to meet you guys as
well.

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So yeah, I'm just starting this
journey, man, fulfilling my

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purpose of helping people free
themselves, their lives up from

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addiction and and hopefully
bringing them closer to Christ.

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That's my that's the plan.
And for me, I started out at a

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young age, what I had I thought
was a normal family.

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And I'm the youngest of four, an
older brother and two older

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sisters.
And when I was very young, like

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12, I had back surgery.
I had a slip vertebrae from

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playing baseball and that put me
out of Commission for a whole

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summer.
I had a full body cast, whatnot.

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And but once I went back to
school, I had to wear this this

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body brace.
Ohh yeah, you know, and.

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I I've seen though, yeah, well,
your legs were kind of out, like

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you kind of walked funny with
your legs.

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No, no.
That was no 'cause I had, I had.

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Straight up and down kind.
OK, 'cause I had a, I had a,

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yeah, I had a friend in, in
elementary school.

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He fell off the monkey bars and
then something happened with his

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spine.
So he had this weird little get

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up where it was like like it was
the torso but his he had to walk

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like.
That I know what you mean, man.

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Yeah.
OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why

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I asked.
Yeah, yeah, because.

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We like to get a visual for the
people that are.

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Sure, man.
Yeah.

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Watching and listening.
So OK, so body cast.

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Yeah, it was just a little thin,
thin plastic urethane thing, you

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know, my waist up to my chest.
But man, I had AI felt

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embarrassed.
I would wear, you know, a vest

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or a jacket.
And yeah, so I kind of just at

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that point, I gravitated towards
a different crowd of people.

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You know, when I was at that
point after the surgery and all

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that had happened.
And, you know, my I, I was the

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youngest.
So my brother and sisters had

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boyfriends and my parents were
very social.

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So my mom was an alcoholic and
my dad didn't drink.

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So that created a lot of riff in
the home in itself?

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Of itself, sure.
So you're so you're 12 when you

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had the surgery and then so you
mentioned your siblings had

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boyfriends and girlfriends.
So what's the age gap?

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Well my brother is like 5 years
older than I am and then 7-8

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years sisters OK.
So so you were legit the baby

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like you were were you a whoops,
Steve?

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Were you like having another
one?

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They never said it like that.
They said I was their favorite.

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Right on.
I don't know man.

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That's what I tell my son.
You're my favorite son and my

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daughter's like what I'm like.
Well, you're my favorite

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daughter's guy, so.
One in one, right?

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Yeah.
Buddy, it's away, man.

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Yeah, So, yeah, man.
So that's it.

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My I So my, my.
I saw a lot of partying with my

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sister's boyfriends and they
introduced me to a joint when I

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was 12 and I thought it was the
coolest thing ever.

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And there was drinking, always
going on booze in the house.

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And so you know, my first drug
and drink was at 12.

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So, so this is going to be fun.
You're not the youngest one.

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We had a guy on the show that
his first experience with pot

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was when he was 6.
Come on.

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Hippie.
Hippie.

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Like he posted a picture.
Yeah, hippie.

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Parents.
Yeah, hippie parents.

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And then he gets pulled from
that and goes polar opposite to

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like an evangelical Midwest
Bible thumping in Minnesota.

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In Minnesota, we.
Went from California to

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Minnesota.
In the In the Time of the

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hippies man.
And this is a friend of Chris's,

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so we know that this is a true
story.

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Yeah, yeah, this is just.
Some guy that we didn't know.

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This is an actual friend of
Chris's.

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He's known for years and we
didn't know that we're both.

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Holy crap, six years.
Old Yeah, man.

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So.
So you're the second youngest at

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12.
Congratulations. 12, man,

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Appreciate it.
Yeah.

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Wow.
Yeah, 1212's bad enough, right?

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OK, so we're partying, we're
drinking.

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We got introduced to pot and
beer when we were 12.

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There's all kinds of parties
going on around you with the

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older siblings and you know,
pick it up from there.

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Yeah, so my parents, they're
hard workers, man.

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Just just multiple jobs,
entrepreneurial spirited, you

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know, they, we had a little ice
cream store, nice little corner

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store, pizza place and stuff and
my family is was very deep into

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bowling.
OK, all right.

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We're all bowlers so and.
Where are you from?

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From originally Rochester, NY
and now I'm in, I'm near

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Syracuse, NY right now.
I took 20 years in Pennsylvania,

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had a bowling center and stuff
there.

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But so you know, we are always
into bowling and bowling is

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drinking and and having fun and
right so we, my parents got

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asked to manage a bowling center
in Rochester, NY and not a

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bowling center.
It was like in a Moose club.

228
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:36,080
It was a little downstairs place
they, you know, so they, they

229
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,240
enjoyed it, but there was a bar
in there.

230
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:43,440
And so I was able to continue
sneaking things around at a very

231
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:47,320
young age and.
And for those that aren't

232
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:50,280
familiar, Moose lodges were
private clubs so you can get

233
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,760
away with murder in those
places.

234
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,560
They gambled, they drank pokers
and blah, whatever.

235
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,640
Pokers and blah.
Probably a lot of that went on.

236
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,040
Two boats.
Boats.

237
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:01,600
And.
Boats.

238
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,920
It depends on the age
demographic of the people who

239
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,720
were frequenting the Moose
Lodge.

240
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,520
It sounds like his was a younger
crowd.

241
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,160
Ours was an older crowd, so OK,
not a lot of that.

242
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,840
Going on.
So not a lot of not a lot of

243
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,080
like Eyes Wide Shut stuff going
on, just.

244
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,960
It was an it was an older crowd
to, you know, to start out.

245
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,880
OK.
I appreciate that, Mike,

246
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:29,160
clarifying that for Chris, man.
But yeah, so that that was our

247
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:33,320
start to the bowling business
and they turn that around and

248
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:37,320
really enjoyed it.
So a couple, two, couple years

249
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,040
in, you know, they wanted to
take it further by their own

250
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:43,640
bowling center.
So we packed up and went to

251
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,720
Skinny Atlas New York, which is
outside.

252
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,400
That's Skinny Atlas.
Skinny Atlas.

253
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,240
Yeah, that's a legit name.
Yeah, it's a, it's a sweet

254
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,040
little town, little resort
that's cool, beautiful lake,

255
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,920
cool.
And so we moved there and I was.

256
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,840
And before I moved there, I was
fortunate enough to have a, a

257
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,920
family member turn me on to
cocaine.

258
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,120
Oh, yeah.
So that was at 16.

259
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,000
Fortunate.
OK.

260
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,600
So now that's the youngest we've
had somebody come on that has

261
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,440
had cocaine because I don't know
anybody else that's had cocaine

262
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,480
at such a young age.
Yeah.

263
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,160
So, and it was.
The cocaine from Cuba or was it

264
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,800
Colombia?
Colombia.

265
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,600
Bam bam.
I think that was City City Coke.

266
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,560
But it it was.
It was a it was AI just thought

267
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,520
everything was fun, man.
You know, I was young and more.

268
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,760
Likely so.
And so the, and then I was got,

269
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:42,240
we got submerged into a fun
industry and the bowling and the

270
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:46,720
bar business.
So we moved to Skinny Atlas and

271
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,520
I'm the new guy in town and I
don't think I have any problems.

272
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,440
You know, I think everything's
great.

273
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:59,200
And so we have a center there
and that just continued on.

274
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,840
And I was, it was my senior year
of high school.

275
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:08,800
I moved there and you know,
shortly thereafter in my first

276
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,600
marriage.
I've got kids, I'm 20.

277
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,720
Right, right, right out of high
school, right out.

278
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,760
Did you go to?
College, I didn't go to college.

279
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,400
I I did, I did for about 3
months yeah.

280
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,280
OK.
And that was that was the end of

281
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,360
that.
I I was in the business world

282
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:27,160
and OK, so.
So how how young were you when

283
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:31,560
you got married?
I was just turned 20, OK, and.

284
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,200
When you graduated high school,
how old were you?

285
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,520
18.
OK cool, so you had a 2.

286
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,240
Year little party have.
Fun, yeah.

287
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,920
Yeah, OK.
Yeah, and it just continued on.

288
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:45,240
I had two kids, one right
immediately and then another 1-4

289
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:50,640
years down the road. 2 boys and.
Still in contact with them

290
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,360
today.
Yes, yeah, yeah.

291
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,960
Cool.
Yep, they're, yeah, they're

292
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,720
they're in my dedication, in my
book, the.

293
00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,000
Oh, good.
Yeah, right up.

294
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:04,320
It's, it's a book, but it's also
a complete, it's more of a, it's

295
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,720
a complete Christ centered
addiction recovery program.

296
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,200
All right.
And it's it's called the process

297
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,800
and that's set to release in
September.

298
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,600
Nice.
Awesome.

299
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,040
So that's congratulations, thank
you.

300
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,680
Appreciate that man.
I'm I'm excited so.

301
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,480
And I know what kind of hard
work goes into that much, you

302
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,920
know, writing a book, what Chris
will tell you, he's done it.

303
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:32,080
But any kind of artist just
knows what amount of work goes

304
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,400
into that.
And I appreciate what you did.

305
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,040
And to sit here and be able to
say that you completed it and

306
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,040
it's being released, that's a
huge accomplishment.

307
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,680
I appreciate that man.
It's thank you for that.

308
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:47,080
It's like I don't even consider
myself an author, a writer, to

309
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:51,320
be honest, the way that all came
out and happened because I, I

310
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,680
mean, I don't know your
experience, Chris, but I mean,

311
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:58,280
for me, writing, I hated school.
I hated writing and how this

312
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:02,720
thing went down was pretty was a
testament to to God and

313
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:07,560
everything to begin with.
That's good, but I just I I

314
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:08,720
wanted to be a writer when I
grew up.

315
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,520
So when I was going to college,
I went for journalism and then,

316
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,880
you know, did that for a while
and realized you don't make any

317
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,280
money being a journalist.
And like any, you know, the

318
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,840
journalist, I just transferred
to major to from journalism to

319
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,520
theater because, you know, both
are such, you know, guaranteed

320
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,360
successful industries.
But that and then so then I

321
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,560
realized that it later that the
the acting and the writing all

322
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,240
kind of came to a head when I
put it with music, because then

323
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,440
it just it sufficed all of that
because I was a different person

324
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,800
when I stepped on stage than I
was walking around, you know,

325
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,480
chilling out and stuff.
So but that's so when I would.

326
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,760
So I've just always been a
writer since senior year in high

327
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,320
school.
All I've done is write, you

328
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,400
know, is that.
Is that what you do?

329
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,720
No, I sell houses.
I'm real estate guy.

330
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,600
You are the real estate guy.
Yeah, what?

331
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,520
Arizona trademarked everything.
Wow.

332
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,119
That's very cool there.
You go.

333
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,119
I thought I saw that on your on
your site, man.

334
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,800
Yeah, I thought it was just
something.

335
00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:11,160
You threw out there.
That's how we knew each other.

336
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:14,280
Yeah, Mike and I were at a
unbeknownst to either one of us,

337
00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:17,040
we were at the candle candle box
show and and he was in front of

338
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,280
me.
I was behind him and I was

339
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,160
singing along to the the singer
and I this long haired creepy

340
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,319
dude, you know, Mike kept
turning around and looking back

341
00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:26,800
at me.
And so finally, about the third

342
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,000
or fourth time I'm like, this
motherfucker's like mad at me.

343
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,120
He's going to try to kick my ass
from and then half the stage

344
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,840
power goes out and he turns
around again.

345
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,200
I'm like really bust out a
business card.

346
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,600
I'm in a band looking for a
singer.

347
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,280
You say that.
I was like, come on.

348
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,040
Man, yeah.
I totally forgot that part of

349
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,040
the story.
I did.

350
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,680
I remember asking him if he was
a singer, but he's like, no, he

351
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:47,880
had a business card and
everything.

352
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,000
Yeah, now he whipped it out like
Desperate Angel was the name of

353
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,680
the band at the time, had his
name and his and the phone

354
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,920
number on there and you know,
you know, and 30 some odd years

355
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,680
later, we're still friends and
you know. 30 years later.

356
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,440
Wow man 909394 ish Somewhere
around there.

357
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,440
We were old, the 90s in the Hard
Rock world.

358
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:09,840
As far as Santa.
Was concerned.

359
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,200
Oh, yeah, yeah, we were.
Yeah.

360
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,200
It was good.
It was a good time.

361
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,080
But that's how we kind of met.
And that's, you know, so the

362
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,640
song you heard in the beginning,
that was us.

363
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:18,680
That was our song.
Freeman.

364
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,200
No kidding.
Man, that is cool.

365
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,320
Yeah, awesome man.
So let's go back to Steve's.

366
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,200
Do you have a, we have a book
coming out called The Process,

367
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:30,200
which is it was Christ, Christ
centric about recovery of

368
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,760
addiction.
Mike and I are both recovering

369
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,280
addicts.
I'm over 20 years sober.

370
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,040
Mike, we think we decided about
15 or so, 15 to 18 somewhere.

371
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,160
In there.
Awesome man.

372
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,480
Plus for sure.
Yeah, yeah.

373
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,680
So, yeah, that's why we love
having people like you on the

374
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,680
show because it it shows there's
another side to being an addict,

375
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,280
right?
There's a recovery aspect and

376
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,240
then there's we've had people on
that actually have the one that

377
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,560
smoked a joint when he was six.
He actually is now.

378
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:57,000
I don't want to say counselor,
but he's he works in depth with

379
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,840
addicts and helped him recovery
and stuff.

380
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:01,960
Just kind of dead what you did.
He hasn't written a book yet,

381
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:06,040
although I told him I dude, you
should write a book if if when

382
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,880
you get a chance.
He's the the show we did was

383
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,920
Mike Larose.
It's one of our our other ones

384
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,760
on the on the thing.
You think you would dig his

385
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,040
story considering the.
Third, most listened to episode

386
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,680
only behind the beginning and
the second one for obvious

387
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,120
reasons, you.
Know I saw it.

388
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,120
I was just scrolling those
yesterday and I'm.

389
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,240
Definitely listening to his
you'll.

390
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,240
Enjoy it.
Yeah, I will.

391
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,480
Yeah, so let's talk, let's go
back to I want to, I want to

392
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:29,720
find out what your, what your
moment was.

393
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:33,240
Because like for me, you know,
as an alcoholic, oh, I'm fine,

394
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,080
I'm fine, I'm fine.
And then my wife and I had this

395
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,120
big blow up and then in which we
never argued and then we still

396
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,680
don't argue to this day.
We've been together 3030, almost

397
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,400
32 years now.
But I woke up the next day and I

398
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,200
was like, I just, I felt like
something had to change.

399
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,760
So that was my thing.
Was that the day before this

400
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,600
wrong blown, you know, drawn out
3/4 hour argument?

401
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,720
So the next day I'm like, OK,
that's when I googled a A and I

402
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,600
started my process and, and that
stuff.

403
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,840
So what was it that we left off
your story with your married,

404
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,920
you had two kids, you're 20
years old, right out of a couple

405
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,440
years out of high school.
So pick it up from there because

406
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,920
I want to know the, the what was
the catalyst that made you shift

407
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,720
your mindset and you're thinking
from where you work to where you

408
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,800
are now?
Yeah, that's, it's a great

409
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,440
question.
And and I'm as I'm starting this

410
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:23,360
journey of having to speak and
talk about it, I just threw

411
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:29,920
myself out here literally in the
last 30 days of putting myself

412
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:34,080
on podcast, just starting to
talk about the the the process.

413
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:40,560
And so, you know, and that
question is, I don't have a

414
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:45,080
where somebody says, yeah, back
in 2011, you know, something

415
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,680
happened.
There was an accident or this or

416
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:52,240
that.
I I was tied up for 35 years in

417
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:56,480
addiction.
So in and out, in and out.

418
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,680
How old are you now?
I'm 59.

419
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:02,080
OK.
So we started so, so, so we

420
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,320
starting your journey at 12?
Yeah.

421
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:08,200
Is that where we think?
OK, so 12 years old, 35 years of

422
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:12,240
just gotcha go on.
So you know it's.

423
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,520
You know, thinking you got it,
you know, I mean, I, you know,

424
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:20,920
of, of, you know, sobriety from
three months to six months to

425
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:28,640
six years, three years and going
back, you know, so it's, it was

426
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:32,920
probably three years ago that,
you know, because I am a

427
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,920
Christian, I was all, I, I came,
went all in with Christ and I

428
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:41,200
met who's going to be my future
wife here in the next next

429
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,840
month.
So, and I commend you on 30

430
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,080
years, man.
I don't have that with my first

431
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,320
3 marriages combined.
So yeah, you're doing good, man.

432
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:55,520
I'm still at 0 so.
OK, so 3, so 3 marriages.

433
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,040
So how long did the first one
last?

434
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,280
That was 12 years.
OK.

435
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,760
And then was was the addiction?
Was that the final straw it?

436
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:06,840
Was just part of it, you know,
and just yeah, immaturity, the

437
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:11,320
first marriage for sure, you
know, and you know, I, I went

438
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,280
through many, many years without
thinking.

439
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,800
I really had a problem.
And so I've had to do a lot of

440
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,240
looking back, man, and trying to
put it together.

441
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,080
I didn't want to.
Look back years.

442
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:25,680
Oh, I bet.
For sure, I would say the first

443
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,240
five years are still a blur, you
know, because I was trying to

444
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,760
figure my life out again.
So I I appreciate that.

445
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,800
Was your first wife an addict
with.

446
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,240
You no or no, no, no, no.
We drank together.

447
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,520
You know, that was that was
enough to do together.

448
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:46,640
But I hit it pretty well.
And really at the end of that,

449
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,920
it wasn't even, I wasn't even
full blown.

450
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,720
It's just there was just an
accumulation of things for, for

451
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,320
the first marriage, you know,
just a man being very immature.

452
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,200
I mean, right?
So well, yeah, I mean starting

453
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,080
out at 20 for sure.
Like my wife and I got married.

454
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,120
I was 25, she was 20.
So I I get the immaturity and

455
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,840
and you have to grow with that.
So obviously I wasn't an

456
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,600
alcoholic the entire time we
were together.

457
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:17,760
It more So what am I 20 now?
We've been get 32.

458
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:21,560
It was like, it was like the 9th
and 10th year where it just kind

459
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,840
of started, you know, building
up.

460
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,840
And then I just, you know, I
couldn't, my by the last six

461
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,560
months was probably terrible,
but I wasn't, and I always point

462
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,200
this out, I wasn't physically or
abusive things like that.

463
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,640
I just, I just emotionally
wasn't there, right?

464
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,520
I just, I went physically, I did
my, I did my job, I paid the

465
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:41,840
bills, I provided, but there was
no emotional connection.

466
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,000
The booze had got in the way of
all that.

467
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,400
So with your with your
addiction, I don't think we

468
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,520
touched on that.
Was it, was it alcohol, was it,

469
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,880
was it coke, was it pot?
Was it accumulation of all

470
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,200
three?
You know, I kind of went up the

471
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:58,360
ladder with it all and it was
definitely once I moved to

472
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:03,880
Skinny Atlas, the cocaine really
got more and more and the

473
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:09,160
drinking was always there.
You know, I'm, I've, I'm like

474
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,760
just over 2 years with no
drinks, all right.

475
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:19,600
And before that, in the last 30
years, I don't think I went more

476
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:25,400
than six months without a drink.
So I mean, everything dropped

477
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,680
and like in the last three
years, everything just

478
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,920
dramatically changed.
But.

479
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,120
And you don't, you don't have a,
you don't have a reason why it

480
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:34,360
just changed.
It just changed.

481
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,680
You just woke up one day and was
like.

482
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:40,880
Just a long process that that
that God brought me through,

483
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:46,560
took me through and and then,
you know, I think the my future

484
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:52,640
wife here is, was played a big
part in this because she was a

485
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:58,520
solid Christ follower herself.
And, and, and God had spoke to

486
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,360
me a couple times and said some
things, you know, along the way,

487
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,360
man, that were very impactful
for me.

488
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:10,240
And you know, so yeah,
definitely three years ago was

489
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,840
like, OK, this is it.
You're you don't have any more

490
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:18,800
opportunities.
So yeah, it's no no one time

491
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,840
event for me.
OK, OK, yeah, I mean, not

492
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,880
everybody has one, but I I'm
just one of those things.

493
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,240
I always, I always ask because
it's it's it's always

494
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,840
interesting, interesting to have
the response because like Mike

495
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,000
didn't have a one time thing,
you know, Mike was accumulation.

496
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,320
Our friend Mike that the six
year old smoking pot, his was an

497
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,000
accumulation.
He had to go through so many

498
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,840
different levels of hell yes to
get to the point to where it's

499
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,120
like, oh, you know, so I get
that.

500
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:45,480
So that was that's why I asked
the question that there's no

501
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,200
wrong answers.
What I'm?

502
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,200
Getting yeah, yeah, so.
And here's the other thing.

503
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:52,880
So yeah, the cocaine ramped up
and and then eventually that

504
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,240
turned into crack.
Oh yeah, yeah.

505
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,240
And so.
That was a dark path that now

506
00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,600
so.
That's a dark path.

507
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:01,920
So 12 years of the first wife
divorce.

508
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,520
How long does it take you to get
married to the next one?

509
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,440
A couple years, couple years and
that went.

510
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,280
She a party or two?
No, she drank.

511
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,080
OK, OK.
And that one went 10 years.

512
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:20,560
And yeah, the alcohol, the drugs
and the alcohol just all played

513
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:26,760
a part.
And you know, and that at this

514
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,720
point, I, I, I guess I didn't
tell you, is I'm just shooting

515
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,800
from the hip.
No, that's which is what we

516
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:32,600
like, man.
So we.

517
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,280
That's why we do this in Skinny
Island 2000.

518
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:40,160
We wanted to expand.
And so I ended up, we bought a

519
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,840
bowling center in Bradford, PA,
and I moved there.

520
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:51,120
And so I had that place for
about 20 years and, you know,

521
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:55,720
once again I was having
problems, but I was able to move

522
00:26:56,160 --> 00:27:00,640
and leave the area.
And this was out of Skinny

523
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,360
Atlas.
And that was the end of my first

524
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:07,320
marriage breaking off.
So kind of like a fresh start in

525
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,480
Bedford.
Yeah, Bradford, Yeah, home of

526
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,280
Zippo lighters.
OK, see my wife's in

527
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:14,320
Punxsutawney.
OK.

528
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:17,280
Yeah, right down the road, man.
OK, you guys are close.

529
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,360
Yeah.
Zip Zippo and Zippo and

530
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:23,200
Punxsutawney Phil.
Yeah, we got to get a commercial

531
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,600
with with punk science though,
like the Zippo man that.

532
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,600
Would be classic.
Oh my God.

533
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,600
Did your bowling centers come
with the same clientele that a

534
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,760
lot of bowling centers come with
in that not the greatest people

535
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,200
hang out there?
Well, you just, it's your party.

536
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,520
That's that's what it is.
I mean, that's what I'm asking.

537
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,680
Yes, absolutely.
You didn't have the PBA coming

538
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,080
through your particular bowling
center is what I'm saying

539
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:47,960
there's.
Well, I have.

540
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:52,800
There's the yeah, yeah.
My niece was the best woman

541
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,600
bowler in the world for a few
years.

542
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,000
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

543
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,000
So that was cool.
So you guys just didn't do the

544
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:04,080
coke and drink and so heavy on
the nights that the PBA was

545
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:05,880
there?
Right, right.

546
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:07,040
You know how to do.
We had.

547
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,000
A bowling.
We had a bowling alley in my

548
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,160
town.
I'm super familiar with the kind

549
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:12,800
of people that hang out in the
bowling alley.

550
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,960
On a regular basis, right.
And I mean, and that's man, I

551
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,080
mean so many good times and so
many good people.

552
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,960
But you know, when the when the
doors are locked, I'm staying

553
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,760
and there's a group of us
staying and, and, but you know.

554
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,840
That's what I'm asking.
Yeah, yeah, you, you nailed it.

555
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,320
Yeah, Mike, for sure.
But yeah, it got worse.

556
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,600
You know, with the with the
crack, it got really bad.

557
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:42,960
I mean, I did that for 1515
years and it was pretty

558
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,880
destructive.
Lost relationships, lost

559
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,920
businesses, marriages, and.
And in the meantime, I'm into

560
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:59,160
outpatient programs, a A and a
Celebrate Recovery therapist,

561
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:03,840
pastors, interventions, and.
You said you went about six

562
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:09,240
months at best at a time.
Without alcohol, but the drugs I

563
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:13,080
I had 1-6 year Sprint, but I was
drinking during that time.

564
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,720
But I I thought I had it,
thought I had it all figured out

565
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,280
then.
Yeah, so.

566
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,880
Well, don't we all?
Every attic has it figured out,

567
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,000
man.
I don't have a problem.

568
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,320
What are you talking about?
I can stop.

569
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:24,720
Whenever.
I guess it's all under control,

570
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:25,960
yeah.
Yeah, I don't.

571
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,680
I'm not that Jack isn't.
I don't touch that Jack in the

572
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,680
freezer as I just keep dealing
with the water.

573
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,040
You know, it's you know, it's.
Look, it's still full, honey.

574
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:34,960
Oh my God, I don't.
Have a part now it's fine,

575
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:36,920
right?
Then you have a part and you put

576
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:40,560
all these on the site.
We had this citrus sky vodka

577
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,680
that was flavored is fantastic
right on the bottle.

578
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,600
So we had this party and we
pulled all the the booze out of

579
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,760
the freezer and and they
couldn't understand why it's a

580
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,720
big chunk of ice in the sky
vodka.

581
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:56,160
This guy you guys are and I
think you're being smart and

582
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,920
they're like, I knew it's like
once I got sober and sober Chris

583
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,640
could be talked to, right?
I don't know if this would

584
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,440
relates with you, but then all
of a sudden you can have these

585
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,640
rational conversations with your
with your, you know, your future

586
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,320
wife, with mine, with my wife.
And then she realized, Oh, sober

587
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,880
Chris can be talked to.
He listens.

588
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,280
He can, you know, he doesn't
just fly off the handle and snap

589
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,360
it little things.
He just like.

590
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,840
Oh, and then you start talking
about all the things that you

591
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,720
know where how I hid the bottle
of Jack in a brown bag behind a

592
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:25,440
bag.
Ice.

593
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,000
There.
And she worked at an Applebee's

594
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,920
in the same complex as a
Walgreens.

595
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,040
So I would go up to when I ran
out because it was all Surface

596
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,640
St.
I'd take Jake, my son, put him

597
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,960
in the truck, go get a, you
know, an 18 pack and a bottle of

598
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,480
Jack.
And then she'd come over for a

599
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,280
break from Walgreens, from
Applebee's because they all knew

600
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,880
each other, right?
And all your husband was here.

601
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:47,880
Oh, really?
What was he doing?

602
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,520
You know a case of beer and a
bottle of Jack and had your son

603
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,960
in the.
You know my God.

604
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,320
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
You know this is like 6 o'clock

605
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,720
7:00 at night.
You know so, but you don't know

606
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,520
that stuff.
You don't know the eyes and the

607
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,600
different people that see you as
you're doing these things.

608
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,120
You think of being all slick and
shit and it's just like, yeah,

609
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,160
everybody.
And I would say that holds true

610
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:09,880
for every addict.
And they don't know it.

611
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,320
You don't know that you're
completely irrational all the

612
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,360
time, right?
And everybody else can see it

613
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,560
because they're sober, right?
Yeah.

614
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:23,080
I know I that I think about, you
know, and I was always had

615
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:27,480
businesses, so I was always in
the public eye and, and, and,

616
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,200
and that was another part of my
problem.

617
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:33,480
I had to put on this facade all
the time and life is good.

618
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,760
I've got a, you know, a nice
wife.

619
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,840
I've got homes, I've got cars
and, and boats and everything

620
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:44,200
looks amazing and I'm a wreck
for many years.

621
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:49,280
But yeah, that perception, I
remember I've weighed as much as

622
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,920
like 220 in the past and and.
How tall are you?

623
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,400
511.
And what about the same height

624
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:56,880
then?
Yeah.

625
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:00,040
Yeah, and I remember at one
point when I was down to 170 and

626
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,160
I remember justifying it in my
own mind because I had, I was in

627
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,840
my own business, you know, with
my pants, the belt, the belts

628
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,280
tightened about 7 loops out.
And I'm trying to wear the right

629
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,240
clothes.
I'm thinking nobody knows.

630
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,520
Everybody knows, man.
Everybody knows what you're

631
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:16,520
doing.
It's a joke when?

632
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,280
I moved back here in 2009.
I was 128 lbs.

633
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,760
Oh.
My God, how tall are you, Mike?

634
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,080
59.
Right, right.

635
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,680
Yeah.
See when I at the height of my

636
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,600
drink and I was about 1:50. 5
now just so, yeah.

637
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,640
Yeah, yeah, my height was 224
and then I'm I'm around one

638
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:39,520
75178 depending on the day.
Now am I at my when when working

639
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:43,400
out became my new addiction,
then I my lowest I got was 166,

640
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,600
but it was just lean, you know,
as lean.

641
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,760
I wasn't I wasn't on a crack
cocaine diet.

642
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:52,640
So here's why I bring that up.
Five 11170 lbs is is legit as

643
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,720
far as you know, height to
weight ratios, things like that.

644
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:56,760
If it's done healthy.
Oh.

645
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,200
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You were a kid, man.

646
00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:02,600
You wouldn't have told me that
anything different back then.

647
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,160
I believed.
Now, now during your during your

648
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,680
journey of of addiction with the
cars, the houses, the boats,

649
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,360
things like that, did you ever
get DUI?

650
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,240
Did you ever get in trouble with
the law?

651
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,360
Per SE.
I mean, it's one of the

652
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,560
blessings, man, how how I stayed
away from the law.

653
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:22,560
I mean, you know, I had a DUI
when I was young, but you know,

654
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:26,160
when I was 17, you know, that
was just driving into somebody's

655
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,360
house.
It wasn't a big thing, but.

656
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,600
You drove into their house.
Yeah, yeah.

657
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,120
Crashed right into their house,
Yeah.

658
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,120
Into their house.
It wasn't a big thing.

659
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:40,400
Yeah, put a whole stand anyway.
Yeah, it, it wasn't, but, but

660
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,120
that was, that was the younger
days.

661
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:46,560
But, you know, All in all, man,
just carrying it on, you know,

662
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,280
into my 50s, man.
So I have a message for the

663
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:53,920
young people too, you know, it's
just just don't take it into

664
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,400
your 20s, man.
Don't take it into your 30s.

665
00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:00,160
Don't take it into your 40s.
I mean, I, you got to see it

666
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,640
around.
I mean, it's everywhere, man.

667
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,520
It's in my own family here.
The, the addiction is rampant,

668
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,280
man.
And it's, it's just it, it

669
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,159
sickens me.
And I want to help people, man.

670
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,880
I was either fortunate or
unfortunate that I knew I was

671
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,040
going to die.
Wow.

672
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,080
So I was 35.
And what were you doing?

673
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,000
Just drinking.
Oh, no.

674
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,159
I did pretty much everything you
could ever imagine.

675
00:34:24,159 --> 00:34:29,120
I mean, I was a musician, you
know, it just, it found its way

676
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,000
to me.
I didn't, you know, seek it out

677
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:36,040
or I wasn't ever buying it.
It just, it always was around,

678
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,719
you know, no matter where you're
at.

679
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,840
It is if you're looking for
that, right?

680
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,800
For sure.
Like you got addicted to crack

681
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:50,440
Around the time that I was in my
30s in Phoenix, meth was super

682
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,000
popular because it was coming up
from Mexico, right?

683
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:58,800
It was dirt cheap and it was
easy to find, so I can say

684
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,920
safely that that's the only drug
I've ever done that I did for

685
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,680
the next 3 1/2 years straight as
often as I could, right?

686
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:08,120
Yeah.
Brutal.

687
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,480
Yeah, it's the same as crack.
It's just that high is so

688
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,560
intense and euphoric, you just
never want it to end.

689
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,240
Yeah, man.
And that was part of my it's,

690
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:24,960
it's amazing, man, that, that
I'm here today with a clean bill

691
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,520
of health with you, man, stayed
out of jail.

692
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,200
That we have our faculties.
That was mine.

693
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,800
I was suffering from psychosis,
something terrible, and I

694
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,880
thought I was going to have to
live the rest of my life that

695
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,640
way so to have Peace of Mind
again.

696
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,160
Yeah, like in.
General right where I can lay my

697
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,200
head down at night.
I don't hear anything except my

698
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,240
own thoughts.
You nailed it, man.

699
00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:49,120
Fantastic.
It's the keyword peace.

700
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,120
You know, that's what people are
after.

701
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,720
And yeah, that's, that's
awesome, man.

702
00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:59,520
Good for you from breaking free,
you know.

703
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,600
Thank you.
And I'm always careful to remind

704
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,440
the people in my life when I'm a
difficult individual.

705
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,920
I'm protecting my Peace of Mind
that's.

706
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,400
Yeah, I won't compromise it
today.

707
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,880
No, I can't.
You can't, Chris can't because

708
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,160
we wouldn't be who we are today
without it, right?

709
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:20,920
So agree.
So, so so you moved to

710
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:22,880
Pennsylvania, open another
bowling center.

711
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,400
You're you're the talk of the
town.

712
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,320
You got, you got the keys in the
in the bling and you know the

713
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,680
shoots and you know, and like,
look at me, I'm Steve.

714
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:30,640
And then you're.
Married again.

715
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,160
Married again.
Children with the second

716
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,600
marriage.
She had some children, OK.

717
00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:36,880
But none that you had to get.
None there.

718
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:37,480
OK.
And.

719
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,080
And then how long did that one
lasted?

720
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,120
Ten.
It was 10 years.

721
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:41,760
Yeah, yeah.
So you're what?

722
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:46,040
If I do my math right, you were
20 to 32, then about 34 to 40.

723
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:46,880
Four.
Yeah, Yep.

724
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:50,120
OK, sounds about right.
I can do.

725
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,520
I can count.
So now you're, you're 59.

726
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,400
So you're, you're, you've been
single now this entire time

727
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,760
because you referenced future
wife.

728
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,440
No.
So three years ago, you met this

729
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:03,120
woman.
We got done in about 2016

730
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:04,920
actually.
Okay, okay.

731
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:09,000
Yeah, that's when that ended.
I got to think of my my time

732
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,640
frames man.
You're OK.

733
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,120
Yeah.
So was was was the was, did it

734
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,440
just kind of run its course as
the first one did in your mind

735
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,600
or was the addiction kind of had
a plan?

736
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,240
Well, it just it was a the
addiction definitely did.

737
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:25,720
There was I think further back I
would I would discount that the

738
00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:30,160
drinking played a part or the
addiction, but it was it was in

739
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:34,920
it all and and you know, even
when you got the time outs that

740
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,400
were you're clean for a while.
It's and you're still trying to

741
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,480
figure things out and it's still
part of the problem.

742
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:48,760
And it was definitely it, it
created more problems and then

743
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:53,360
and then it just, it, it got
into a big, a big mess of a

744
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:58,760
relationship, you know,
infidelity and the whole 9 and

745
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:02,160
just a lot of lessons to be.
Learned through a You're in your

746
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:06,720
30s forties at this point, yeah.
40s. 30s because it was yeah,

747
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:10,040
yeah, OK. 40s yeah, yeah.
A lot of character building.

748
00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:13,480
Oh my God, man.
That's what I call that when,

749
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,040
when, when God's checking you,
it's character building.

750
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,200
It's true story, Chris.
Yeah, this is what it is, man.

751
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,520
He's still still working it
today, man.

752
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,440
Yep, it's.
It's been a every.

753
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,560
Every, every step in life is
just a rung on that ladder as

754
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:28,680
you keep climbing towards the
ultimate goal, whatever that may

755
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:34,160
be.
Yeah, So, yeah, that was so,

756
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:35,760
yeah.
The, the drugs and alcohol are

757
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,240
just, they're infiltrated, you
know, through my, through

758
00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:41,480
everything in life.
It's part of it all, man.

759
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:46,480
I yeah, it's, yeah, I look back,
man.

760
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,280
And, and there was just the
roads I took in different

761
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,400
business opportunities that
didn't go.

762
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,200
And I thought, you know, oh,
that's what I was going to say,

763
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,560
you know, I had money because
you're talking about the bling

764
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,520
and this and that.
I mean, it wasn't loaded or

765
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,880
anything, but you know, we had,
we were good and you're

766
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:07,520
comfortable, very comfortable.
And so I didn't, it wasn't the

767
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:11,440
typical, you know, maybe an
addict that doesn't have much.

768
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:16,040
And you know, I, I, I did a lot
because I had money and that it

769
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:19,520
was my God.
And it's, and it was, I just

770
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,040
thought it could always, always
save me.

771
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:27,320
It could always Get Me Out of
something, and it took God had

772
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,480
to drain me of every penny
twice.

773
00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:32,160
So there was, so there was
there.

774
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,760
So there was some type of moment
that happened.

775
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:40,200
Well, a lot, you know, over 35
years, you know, a lot of a lot

776
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,560
of moments where I didn't
listen.

777
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,960
Right.
Yeah, most people don't.

778
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,240
I like to call him a lot of rock
bottoms, yeah.

779
00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:51,560
Well, you got, you just got
really loud.

780
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:52,560
Yeah, he did.
What happened there?

781
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,480
You got a fan on, man.
Yeah.

782
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:56,400
What's up Mike?
It.

783
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:00,520
Is really loud.
Something happened.

784
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,200
Remember that, Remember that?
What was it?

785
00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:06,360
Is it live or is it Memorex
commercial with the guy in the

786
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:13,400
chair and the hair?
So let's talk a little bit about

787
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,240
let's talk a little bit about
the book.

788
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,840
It's called the process.
And you, since you're not a

789
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,200
writer, did you just kind of all
of a sudden one day start having

790
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:24,840
the idea?
I'm going to put pen to paper

791
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,480
and put my thoughts down.
It's kind of how it happened.

792
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,440
Yeah.
It, you know, it was just

793
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:36,880
sitting down one day and
literally I'm just like, wow,

794
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,920
man, everything in life's a
process.

795
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,440
Everything, everything is a
process.

796
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:48,680
And then it's like bam, PR and
you know, because I've been

797
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:54,440
through so many recovery
programs, I'm like, OK, and I

798
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:58,640
started putting scriptures with
each letter and I and I it just,

799
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:03,200
it just started to go and I'm a
guy that will not like I can't

800
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:08,120
sit at a computer man for an
hour would be a long stretch

801
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,000
and.
Most, most addicts are ADHD.

802
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,720
So you know, squirrel, squirrel,
squirrel, squirrel, squirrel,

803
00:41:13,720 --> 00:41:14,960
right?
And that's why a lot of them

804
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,520
chase that because that puts
that makes their brain shut up

805
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:20,640
and then they can focus on
something.

806
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:24,000
Where's those that you know,
that's, I mean, you think about

807
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:27,760
it, I don't know the stats, but
a lot of addicts are somehow

808
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:32,040
have attention deficit on some
level because, you know, they

809
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,640
just do.
They're trying to, they're

810
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,480
trying to self medicate.
That's what we're trying to self

811
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,000
medicate.
We had some in our family that

812
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,560
that went down the path of meth
and heroin, things like that.

813
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:44,120
And it and truly became a point
of trying to feel normal because

814
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:45,800
nothing they did would feel
normal.

815
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,080
So once they started
experimenting with the drugs,

816
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,560
that would give them some sense
of normalcy, even though it was

817
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:55,360
so they didn't realize it.
But that's that's what.

818
00:41:55,360 --> 00:42:00,600
And then that becomes you just
chasing with the heroin part of

819
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,280
it, you were just chasing the
needle.

820
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:03,760
You weren't chasing the high
anymore.

821
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,920
They were chasing the needle
just when it pierced your vein.

822
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,880
Am I going to live this time or
am I going to die this time?

823
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,640
You know, OD this time.
That's the freaky thing about

824
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,560
the heroin and stuff.
At least from what I've had my

825
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:16,000
vantage point, I've never done
any more than worse than pot.

826
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:17,280
I'm the boring one.
Here.

827
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,600
Oh yeah.
No, you're the smart one.

828
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,720
The smart one.
So let's I want to, I want to

829
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:26,120
kind of die.
I don't want you to give up the,

830
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,600
the, the contents.
I don't want you to share too

831
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,560
much about the book because we
want people to go buy your book.

832
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,600
But I want you to kind of talk
about a little bit about what it

833
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:34,680
is.
I got to turn this point off.

834
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:44,320
Talk a little bit about, you
know, you kind of said it's

835
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,520
Christ centric, which is cool.
So you have a lot of scripture

836
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,600
and stuff involved with it.
So you're taking all your

837
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,000
knowledge and experience with
all the different recovery

838
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,000
outlets you did and kind of
putting it all in one thing.

839
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:55,720
OK, cool.
Yeah, that's cool.

840
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,280
Yeah.
So I mean, even what you did say

841
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,240
about the writing, I just want
to throw out there because I.

842
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:06,920
Yeah, absolutely.
It all, I mean, and suddenly I

843
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,960
was, and it's part of my story
is that the Holy Spirit just

844
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:15,200
totally took over and just told
me where to go with this and

845
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:20,320
what to do.
And I was writing 810 hours a

846
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,680
day.
I mean, I mean, it was crazy,

847
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:27,440
man.
I'm, I'm like to know myself to

848
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,520
think that that could be
happening like that with just, I

849
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,920
look back and I'm like, well, it
just wasn't me, man.

850
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,120
I was guided because.
You were the vessel.

851
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,240
I don't know.
I was the vessel.

852
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,800
That's why that makes right.
That's how I mean like Mike and

853
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,520
I have talked about it that, you
know, when I write a song, it's

854
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,080
I could be sitting here doing
nothing and all of a sudden a

855
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,880
line comes in my head and boom,
two in a fire.

856
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,960
There's there's you know, an
entire lyric of of two rounds,

857
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,640
one there.
Mike's the same way Mike will

858
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,560
will, you know, he'll be tuning
around on his guitar all of a

859
00:43:58,560 --> 00:43:59,600
sudden.
Here's a riff.

860
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:03,080
It's it's the muse.
It's it's, you know, you know

861
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:04,280
my.
That's why I don't take any

862
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:05,440
credit for.
It right?

863
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,240
Literally, I pull it out of the
universe, right?

864
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,240
Yeah, it's just.
If somebody asked us if we were

865
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,960
good, we just give them tickets
to our show.

866
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,760
Come see.
US play exactly.

867
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:20,120
You let us know we we played
stuff that made us happy, that

868
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,360
we would want to hear on the
radio.

869
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,640
Or.
On ACD or whatever.

870
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,880
But beyond that, I mean, we did
it because we enjoyed it.

871
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:30,240
You know, we weren't looking for
anything more than that to write

872
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:32,360
a great song, you know,
something that made us want to

873
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:34,120
move.
And I agree with what you're

874
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:38,720
saying in that you become a
vehicle when you're that close

875
00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:42,440
to any kind of art.
Yeah, yeah.

876
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:46,560
I mean, like you said, I think
it's really cool because you

877
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:51,400
don't like, I don't.
I have a this, all of this

878
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:55,640
happening created my purpose.
And it's, it's just, it's lit up

879
00:44:55,640 --> 00:45:00,520
my life and it's.
And so I, you know, I, I, I envy

880
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:04,680
people that play music and can
sing, right, because, you know,

881
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,880
it's a gift, man, because, you
know, if you don't have it,

882
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,720
that's for sure.
Oh, absolutely.

883
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:14,880
You know, so it's, you get led
to, like you said, just all of a

884
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,640
sudden things start coming to
mind and things come together,

885
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:20,920
things get aligned and you're
like, oh, this is this is good.

886
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,440
Right, so the book's called the
process.

887
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,600
Is it a step by step thing or is
it just more of a first person?

888
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,480
This is my journey.
These are the things that that

889
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,280
worked for me or things that
didn't work for me.

890
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,720
Give us a little in in depth on.
That, well, I, it's a, it's a,

891
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:39,800
it's AI, call it a radical
approach to recovery and it's

892
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:45,800
blending biblical principles
with science and manifestation

893
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:49,240
techniques, right.
So I've never heard that.

894
00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:53,640
It's, I believe it's, I don't
believe it's been out there.

895
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,360
I think it's going to be a
movement throughout the world,

896
00:45:56,360 --> 00:46:02,920
to be quite honest, man.
So it's we start with the end in

897
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,600
mind.
All right, and we can I talk

898
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,560
about creating and being your
future, your 90.

899
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:14,600
It's a 90 day program and it's 7
steps with along with the

900
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:19,200
letters, the process.
And it's, it's I blend biblical

901
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:25,240
principles with scientific
research that backs up the the

902
00:46:25,240 --> 00:46:30,160
manifestation and creating your
future self right out of the

903
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:32,760
gate.
We set the picture, we draw the

904
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:38,560
vision and we work from that
person, that place instead of to

905
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:41,720
it.
So it's a complete paradigm

906
00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:43,960
shift of the way you think about
recovery.

907
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:45,560
That's.
All what?

908
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:48,600
What's your time frame?
Or the way you just described

909
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,320
it, it would be different for
everyone, right?

910
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,680
Yeah, for sure, it could be.
I mean, it's designed as a 90

911
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,400
day, but I mean, everyone's walk
is different.

912
00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:01,760
And yeah, it's.
It could it.

913
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:05,200
So you do have a time frame set
up to where somebody could go

914
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:08,280
from being at their worst, which
all three of us have been there

915
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:12,440
to if you followed this program,
you're saying in three months

916
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:14,760
you should be on your way to
recovery.

917
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:16,840
You have a should form.
Yes, exactly.

918
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:18,720
Everything's everything.
'S.

919
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,640
I'm thinking right.
I think when you say 90 days I

920
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,480
automatically went in my head to
75 hard.

921
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,720
Right, the workout.
Thing that I've done a couple of

922
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:29,840
times where it's, but it's, it's
discipline and and the more, the

923
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:31,920
more habit you do on a
consistent basis because

924
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,680
consistency wins.
That's what that's the concept

925
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:35,680
of it.
That's the habit.

926
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,120
You're you're breaking the old
habit and create and replacing a

927
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,880
new habit.
Repetition is the mother of all

928
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,320
skills.
Exactly.

929
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:45,600
And discipline and consistency,
you know, and, and I believe in,

930
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:49,000
in this 90 day program that
your, your life will be

931
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:53,400
completely transformed and, and,
and it doesn't mean it's all

932
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,960
fixed and anything like that,
but if you follow the plan,

933
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:00,200
you're going to be in a good
place, man.

934
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:04,280
That's cool, I like that.
Yeah, that's absolutely.

935
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:07,080
And, and one of the nice, the
unique things that I've created

936
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:12,760
with it is that when you buy the
book, the program is that

937
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,560
because it is, it's steps with
along with the letters, right?

938
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,640
And I, I give two weeks per step
to, to work things.

939
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:27,000
And, and I, I have a series of
YouTube videos that I've created

940
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:31,200
that you get with the book.
So I that I'm walking you

941
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,400
through the book itself, you
know, every bit of it.

942
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,680
And I'm, you know, saying this
is this is it, this is what you

943
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,880
should be doing.
This is where you should be, how

944
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:42,080
you should be feeling.
What an addict would kind of

945
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,040
mindset here.
I've got all these these things

946
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:48,120
that can help you just kind of
understand it.

947
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:51,120
If it's, if it's one person
that's picks this book up and

948
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:54,800
goes through it themselves with
within the county, one

949
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:59,600
accountability person and, and
God, they can do it.

950
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:04,040
And so I kind of walk them
through the whole book and they

951
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:05,760
can look at the videos, you
know?

952
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,720
Is is the book kind of like a
workbook?

953
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:13,000
Yes, there's a lot of questions
in each, in each step to to ask

954
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,280
yourself.
And yeah, it's a, it's a full

955
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:19,560
blown program.
And it's so, and it's full hands

956
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:22,280
on.
Yes, it's, it's pretty different

957
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,560
man, but I'm excited.
Now here's a question for you.

958
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,760
So you, you, you released the
book in September.

959
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,720
And then you have the, the, the
hold, how to hold people

960
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:32,680
accountable with the YouTube
videos, things like that.

961
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:36,520
Are you going to like like
become a life coach or recovery

962
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,880
and kind of do something like
this where hey, Chris, we're

963
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:42,320
going to Zoom every Tuesday at
2:00 to, you know, make sure

964
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,440
you're still following the
steps, you're still following

965
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:46,680
the outcome, you know, you're
still going for the outcome,

966
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:48,360
whatever that have you want to
phrase it.

967
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,800
Absolutely.
That's a big part of it.

968
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:54,680
I mean, like you see a, a is the
is the primary example of all

969
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:58,200
recovery programs, right?
That's you know, I've I've built

970
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:02,760
a complete program on the side
of the book that's not going out

971
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,640
with the book.
That will be, you know, where

972
00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:08,360
where people are going to be
able to start their own programs

973
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,680
in churches and in in recovery
centers.

974
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:17,080
You know, I mean, this is brand
new man, and it sounds like it's

975
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,400
that's a.
Great idea there, I like that.

976
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:23,760
You know, and I'm taking it as
far as I've already can see

977
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:26,600
another writing coming out for
because I want to get to the

978
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:29,200
inner city youth.
Yeah.

979
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:32,640
And just with with manifestation
techniques and getting these

980
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:35,560
kids minds right before they
before they're ruined.

981
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:37,960
Yeah.
Give us an example if you would

982
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:39,960
have like a manifestation
technique that you use.

983
00:50:40,720 --> 00:50:44,400
Well, I mean, there's some of
the simpler ones are, you know,

984
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:47,480
draw on a vision board.
You know, that's something we do

985
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,120
right out of the gate.
OK, so it's because not

986
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,240
everybody's going to know what a
vision board is Explaining what?

987
00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:56,160
Explaining that so, so this,
this person that I want to

988
00:50:56,160 --> 00:51:00,120
become, you know, what do I,
what am I going to look like in

989
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,520
90 days?
You know, what are you know,

990
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,160
and, and this vision board, you
can take it further down the

991
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:10,720
road, right to the clothes I'm
going to be wearing.

992
00:51:10,720 --> 00:51:12,920
What, you know, am I, I'm back
to work.

993
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:16,760
Maybe there's some pictures of
my on this board of, of my

994
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,000
workplace.
Maybe it's the pictures of me

995
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,080
and my family from some of the
good pictures that when we were

996
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:24,240
things were really good and I
wasn't a mess.

997
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:29,640
You know, I got my job back and
maybe there's just pictures,

998
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,760
pictures of the future or
bringing up some of your older

999
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:36,640
pictures so that you have
something to look at every day

1000
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:38,960
to kind of keep you motivated
and driven.

1001
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:40,320
That was the hardest thing for
me.

1002
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:44,360
Steve was just getting into a
routine again and it to be

1003
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:45,360
honest.
Back to life.

1004
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,560
Listening, and I've told Chris
this before, it's the part I

1005
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,960
fucking hate the most.
Still to this day, I do.

1006
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,680
That's not me.
Yeah.

1007
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:56,560
It's all an act every day.
It just is.

1008
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:59,160
You know, I, for the people that
are listening, they're like,

1009
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,040
wow, you're should have went to
Hollywood.

1010
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:05,000
I probably should have because
it is the part I hate the most.

1011
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:06,520
I don't like to be told what to
do.

1012
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:10,160
I want to do what I want to do.
That part never left me.

1013
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:17,040
So I, I do commend you for
tackling that part because that

1014
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:21,280
is the hardest part for an
addict to get back into as any

1015
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:26,560
kind of routine, right?
You've been I was away from

1016
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:30,240
society for almost 4 years right
straight.

1017
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:31,600
Like no.
Job.

1018
00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:33,520
No.
Like I was sequestered from

1019
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:36,240
everybody.
I saw him a couple times, you

1020
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,600
know, just a select you.
You probably didn't want to see

1021
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:41,520
him either, you know, I mean,
he.

1022
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,600
Who would not want to want to
see me?

1023
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,240
Steve, I want to see more of
the.

1024
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:51,480
He is the least I when we talked
about it, he's like, I sorry,

1025
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:53,000
man, you should have said
something.

1026
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:56,480
I just you know, I he didn't
know and he felt mad about it.

1027
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:59,120
He is one of the least
judgmental people here your

1028
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:01,520
life.
He just came over to jam at that

1029
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,880
time and I was at the worst of
my addiction.

1030
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:09,320
So I, I really appreciate that
particular one there, you know,

1031
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:11,400
getting people back into some
kind of routine.

1032
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:15,720
Well, you know, I don't want I,
I just learned so much about the

1033
00:53:15,720 --> 00:53:20,600
process of recovery, man, that I
mean, at the end of the day, the

1034
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,240
person that's fully recovered,
that's not going back.

1035
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,840
They're not the same person that
they were.

1036
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,200
No, in addiction, they're a
different person.

1037
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:32,160
They're they think differently,
their minds are differently.

1038
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:36,040
However you get there.
This is a no nonsense program.

1039
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:42,200
It is, it's, it is it's, it's a
full out assault against against

1040
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:45,480
addiction, right, because the
addiction doesn't take any

1041
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,840
breaks, man.
So our recovery shouldn't

1042
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:51,160
either.
And this is my program is not

1043
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:56,720
about passivity, but I want
people to be excited even though

1044
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,560
I I know where you're at.
I've been in that pit.

1045
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:04,120
I'm 100 * / / 35.
Right.

1046
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:05,520
But see, that's the validity of
it.

1047
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:08,000
You've you've been there.
That's what our friend Mike

1048
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:09,560
Larose is.
He's been there.

1049
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,520
Like it.
Like my first a meeting I went

1050
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:16,600
to at the time I was, I was, I
was 20 years, I'm 55, I was 35.

1051
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,640
So everybody in there was like
6570.

1052
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:20,960
I'm like, this doesn't work.
Like I can't relate to these

1053
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,080
people at all.
So then I found the one the next

1054
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:26,680
day that was a range.
It was probably people younger

1055
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:29,600
than me all the way up to.
A different a different program.

1056
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,520
It was no, it's still a A, but
it's a different location.

1057
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:32,920
OK.
Yeah.

1058
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,560
So the first location was
everybody was grandparents.

1059
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:38,200
And looking back on that now,
that's because the area where

1060
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:42,720
that, that was was 55 plus
world, adult community world,

1061
00:54:42,720 --> 00:54:44,720
yeah.
Where is the one that I ended up

1062
00:54:44,720 --> 00:54:46,760
going to in Tempe.
It was in Tempe, what's in

1063
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:47,760
Tempe?
ASU.

1064
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:52,040
So it had a, a wide range of, of
age, which then I, I could

1065
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,720
relate more to that group than I
could in the one in the East

1066
00:54:55,720 --> 00:54:59,000
Mesa because of the age gap.
So it wasn't, it wasn't

1067
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:01,520
necessary that I didn't want to
go forward with it, but I needed

1068
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:02,960
to find something that was
connecting.

1069
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,400
And that was the thing that the
age connected me with that

1070
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:09,600
particular meeting.
And then I realized that you got

1071
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:13,240
a chip every time you hit 30
days, 60 days, 90 days.

1072
00:55:13,240 --> 00:55:15,880
And that, you know, I've told it
before here, that was the reason

1073
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,400
that that I stayed clean was
because I wanted to be able to

1074
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,120
give those chips to my wife.
Here's 30 days.

1075
00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:23,240
That's awesome, man.
Here's 60 days, here's that

1076
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:27,120
chip.
And then there's there's the

1077
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:27,560
frame.
Oh.

1078
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,560
Damn, Chris, your sobriety.
Very cool, man to her.

1079
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:33,440
Yeah, that's awesome, man.
But that's the thing.

1080
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:36,120
So you have to find something
that's going to going to, you

1081
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,920
know, flip your switch to, to
change your habits because we're

1082
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:42,200
all living proof habits can
change.

1083
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:43,520
Well, let me ask you.
Yeah.

1084
00:55:44,720 --> 00:55:48,360
Mike, do you golf?
I used to used to.

1085
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:51,000
OK, I actually worked on a golf
course for four years when I was

1086
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,800
in high school.
OK, what about what is it?

1087
00:55:53,880 --> 00:56:01,200
What is it you don't like to do?
I mean skiing, hunting, I mean

1088
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:05,520
activity wise.
Oh, I'm not a big, I'm not a big

1089
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:08,440
workout kind of guy.
I could give a shit about that

1090
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:09,480
kind of stuff.
So.

1091
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:11,680
I love that.
So if that's.

1092
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:13,440
Where him and I are different
people for sure.

1093
00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:18,320
Yeah, he's the beast.
He is for sure.

1094
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:20,880
So.
So if I said, like, you know,

1095
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:24,480
part of our programs going to be
working out five days a week, I

1096
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:27,560
mean, would you be excited?
No.

1097
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,760
Not at all, right?
And that's just it.

1098
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,400
Like, and I use AA as an
example.

1099
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,760
I don't knock any other program
because every program out there

1100
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:40,520
has saved people's lives.
So absolutely, I've never been

1101
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:42,560
an AA guy, right?
I go in.

1102
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:43,720
There.
But here's where I'm at.

1103
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:47,160
Because I'm a man of my word and
I'm not a hypocrite.

1104
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:50,520
I knew I was an addict.
I don't need anyone else to tell

1105
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,200
me that, right?
I figured this shit out myself.

1106
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:55,280
So.
That's why you don't hear me

1107
00:56:55,280 --> 00:57:00,200
talking about recovery and like
programs and stories and I pride

1108
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,600
myself on not being stupid.
That's the one thing that I'm

1109
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:06,200
super proud of, right?
I got an education.

1110
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:12,280
I educate myself daily since I
was about, I don't know, since I

1111
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:14,520
could read, right?
The one thing Chris and I have

1112
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:17,360
in common is we were sick a lot
when we were kids.

1113
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:19,960
So we were kept inside.
We didn't get to go outside.

1114
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:24,040
We had to stay inside for recess
and we were alienated from the

1115
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:27,480
group.
So I read a lot, and I became

1116
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:29,200
those books.
You know.

1117
00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:33,800
I just fell into them.
They became my world and then

1118
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:39,520
music became my world.
And as an artist, you just gain

1119
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:41,800
so much more perspective for the
world.

1120
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:43,800
For life.
To the point where your minds

1121
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,240
expanded more than the average
person.

1122
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:51,040
By the time you're 20 instead of
30 or 40 or, you know, you're

1123
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,840
about 10 years ahead.
Wow, you.

1124
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:55,960
Know just.
Because you put the time into

1125
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:58,200
doing something that normal
people don't, right?

1126
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:02,560
So I knew I was an addict.
I didn't need anybody else to

1127
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:05,480
tell me that.
I don't knock any program.

1128
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:09,120
If it helped Chris, great.
I love him as a brother.

1129
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:14,160
He's great.
But that I think it starts with,

1130
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,640
you have to know where you're
at, right?

1131
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:21,960
Right.
You can't just tell somebody I I

1132
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:24,800
can save you without them
wanting to be safe.

1133
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,240
For sure, man, yeah.
Right.

1134
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:29,640
Yeah, yeah.
My wife was a bartender for the

1135
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:31,280
bulk of my my last two years of
drink.

1136
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:34,240
She's a bartender at, at, at, at
Applebee's and a bar down in

1137
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:36,320
Scottsdale.
So she could tell me she was

1138
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:38,080
until she was blue in the face
that I had a problem.

1139
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:40,680
And I'm like, no, I don't
because I didn't.

1140
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:42,360
I didn't want to hear it.
She's right.

1141
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:44,360
Everybody that was telling me
that was right.

1142
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:47,520
But you just as an addict,
you're not going to stop till

1143
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,320
you're ready to stop, period.
Period.

1144
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:54,440
Like you 30 years, right, 30
years of and and three or two

1145
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,680
failed marriages that can kind
of be tied. 3 failed marriages,

1146
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:00,160
3 failed, the last one went one
year.

1147
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:04,800
Oh, OK, OK.
I forgot to tell you about that

1148
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:06,880
one, but that's OK.
That's a short story.

1149
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:12,040
But but you know, so I commend
you, Mike.

1150
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:16,000
But, and here's what I think we
we run out of time.

1151
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:21,560
Oh, we got a few more minutes.
So like that you figured you're

1152
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,680
in the minority of addicts that
figure out I.

1153
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:26,040
Know that.
That's why I don't.

1154
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:29,040
That's why I don't.
Praise God man, good for you.

1155
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:33,320
The only part that I'm going to,
yeah, thank you for sure.

1156
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:38,960
The only part I'm going to say
is a a deal breaker is if the

1157
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:43,280
person is not ready to recover.
There's no program.

1158
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:46,920
I don't care what you say.
I will debate that and argue it.

1159
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,880
If anybody wants to come on here
and tell me that I'm wrong, I

1160
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:51,760
welcome it.
That's why we're here, right?

1161
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:56,760
But they're wrong because I've
never seen somebody get sent to

1162
00:59:56,760 --> 01:00:00,360
a place and come out successful
ever in my life.

1163
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,960
And I've seen lots of examples.
Same here man.

1164
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:07,000
I'm not just saying, and these
are personal friends of mine.

1165
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,400
These are kids I went to school
with.

1166
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:13,000
These are bandmates.
These are, you know, I could, I

1167
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:16,280
could name off 10 examples off
the top of my head and none of

1168
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:20,200
them were successful because
somebody decided for them that

1169
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,200
they were an addict and they
were going to get better.

1170
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,080
Yeah, that it doesn't.
And it doesn't matter who you

1171
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:25,840
are.
Doesn't matter.

1172
01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:29,600
Like from from somebody who's
straight up living on a gutter

1173
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:35,240
to Robert Downey Junior, right.
You're not stopping unless you

1174
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:37,480
have the will and desire to
stop, period.

1175
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:42,560
Like there's no, we saved
continuously went and saved the

1176
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:45,080
person in our family that was,
was going down that path.

1177
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:49,800
And, and so we watched the cycle
in the 24 hour lockdown to get

1178
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:54,000
cleaned in here, the 30 day, you
know, sober facility, you know,

1179
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,080
24 hour care, things like that.
And then we noticed a

1180
01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:57,760
disconnect.
Once you get out of the 30 day

1181
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:01,120
lockdown, they couldn't come
back to where we were at because

1182
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,400
of what they were doing.
So then they had to go to the

1183
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:05,320
halfway houses, group homes,
things like that.

1184
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:08,680
With the problem with that is
then you go from 24/7 care to

1185
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:12,480
nothing and you're dealing with
the 14 other personalities that

1186
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:15,120
you're the new one in the room.
So all of a sudden you're a

1187
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:17,200
piece of crap and you're not
going to be successful because

1188
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:18,920
the first thing you want to do
is get the hell out of Dodge.

1189
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,920
That's another great point.
Right.

1190
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:25,000
So there's, yeah.
It's a super point and it's

1191
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:31,000
going to go in line with the IT
is that when, like you said,

1192
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:33,520
it's just like when somebody
gets out of jail, right?

1193
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:37,640
The first thing, do they
they're, they want a great meal

1194
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:39,720
and whatnot.
They don't go to the diner.

1195
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:42,280
Shower by themselves.
Yeah, they don't want to go to

1196
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:44,760
the diner right across the
street from the prison.

1197
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,240
They want to get as far away as
possible.

1198
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:51,160
So that's part of the core of my
program is to listen.

1199
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:55,560
We are going to build you with
personal growth and self

1200
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:57,720
development right out of the
gate.

1201
01:01:57,720 --> 01:02:00,840
And Mike, like you said, I'm so
glad you brought it up about the

1202
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:06,920
the books, right?
I was never a reader and today,

1203
01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:09,520
and I don't read even today
really, I listen.

1204
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:11,960
So I'm I'm a.
Vulnerable guy, we all do.

1205
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:16,560
And, and, and it changed my
world and, and that's part of

1206
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:18,480
how this all came about for me
too.

1207
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:24,120
And I realize you can get away
from recovery faster with

1208
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,960
personal growth and self
development.

1209
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:31,440
And I mean, I listen to probably
30 to 40 books a year, and some

1210
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,640
of them tend to point.
Steve, that's a good point you

1211
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:37,880
bring up that I failed to
include in my own recovery

1212
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:43,120
process is it was an intense.
I dug down deep into myself.

1213
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:47,440
I've solved all the here's where
I went wrong, here's where I did

1214
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:50,920
wrong to people.
I apologized where I could and

1215
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:52,680
then I started to rebuild
myself.

1216
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:54,560
Right, that's a.
Very important point.

1217
01:02:54,840 --> 01:02:58,440
You have to rebuild yourself and
you become a new person on the

1218
01:02:58,440 --> 01:02:58,760
other.
Side.

1219
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:01,920
All of us are not the same
people we were before we became

1220
01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:03,880
an addict.
That would be impossible.

1221
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:06,440
It would be impossible, correct?
Yeah.

1222
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:09,640
I mean, that's.
Better now and we can tell

1223
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:13,040
someone when you're ready,
here's what you need to do and

1224
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,760
that's what I hear from you.
I'm not saying I wasn't trying

1225
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:19,480
to say that you're, I hope you
didn't take it like, you know, I

1226
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:23,040
was trying to say your program's
not going to work.

1227
01:03:23,040 --> 01:03:25,680
I was agreeing with what you
were saying from the beginning

1228
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:30,560
of the episode in that you had
to decide I'm ready to do this,

1229
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:32,600
right.
And for you, you found the Lord.

1230
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,120
That's great.
Everybody has to have a vehicle

1231
01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:38,840
to get there.
I just call it a vehicle.

1232
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:40,840
If.
You call it God, That's great.

1233
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:44,920
It was music for me.
It's whatever for the next

1234
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:48,280
person, but as long as you have
something to hang on to that

1235
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:52,160
centers you and grounds you so
that you can move forward and

1236
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:57,360
build your character and
yourself worth and wanting to be

1237
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:59,080
out in society.
That's the one thing that I

1238
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:02,280
forgot as an addict, is that I
love people.

1239
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:05,560
Yes.
But the self worth, self worth

1240
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:07,880
because what's 1 of the other
common things with addicts aside

1241
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:11,120
from being ADHD, right?
You have no self worth 0.

1242
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:13,360
And, and, and then you come out
of the addiction, right?

1243
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,640
And then also you look back on
what you did and then you have

1244
01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:18,120
this shame.
Oh yeah, because you're like, Oh

1245
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:21,120
my gosh, I like, I tell the
story on that's such a great

1246
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:22,520
point.
Thank you.

1247
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:24,680
I, I tell, I tell the story all
the time.

1248
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:27,520
One of the Christmases with my
wife, I, I got her diamond

1249
01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:29,400
earrings and I was like, and to
me, I was like, Oh, I got my

1250
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:31,520
wife diamond earrings and I
wrapped up the package right.

1251
01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:33,160
And I walked through the
hallway.

1252
01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:35,200
She was sitting in the, in the
great room at that house and I

1253
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:37,560
tossed her the box of earrings.
I said Merry Christmas, turn

1254
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,520
around and went away.
And, and I could just, I can see

1255
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:43,120
her face too and tell her story
because she's like, oh, OK,

1256
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:45,280
thank you.
Like I was a total Dick.

1257
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:47,720
My yeah.
I wasn't because I wasn't there

1258
01:04:47,720 --> 01:04:50,240
emotionally.
Like if I could go back in time,

1259
01:04:50,240 --> 01:04:53,320
just take those little nuances
away from from our life, I would

1260
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:56,680
because that's the thing that
when I got clean and then you

1261
01:04:56,680 --> 01:04:58,880
start waking up with a clear
head and then you start

1262
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:00,240
remembering things.
At least I.

1263
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:02,040
Let me ask you this.
Yeah, yeah.

1264
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,960
That's the story you remember
the most if you're ever going to

1265
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:08,600
slip, right?
Those kind of things, right?

1266
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:13,280
If I'm if I'm even leaning
towards being that person again,

1267
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:16,160
those are the things I remember
is how bad that felt.

1268
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:19,240
Right.
Yeah, Yeah, You want to, you

1269
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:22,440
want to feel that?
Something to hang on to remember

1270
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:27,240
how bad you made somebody feel
or how, you know, in my case, I

1271
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:31,040
came home for Christmas one year
and I just devastated my mother,

1272
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:35,520
you know, and that she's the
only person walking the earth

1273
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:38,360
today that can still make me
feel like I'm an inch tall

1274
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:41,320
because she's still the only
person that's shown me

1275
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:46,560
unconditional love too, right?
So those kind of people, when

1276
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:49,120
you hurt somebody like that,
just like Chris did with his

1277
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:52,920
wife, it means something to you.
And that rattled around my head,

1278
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:56,640
you know?
Yeah, it it in it, it does now

1279
01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:59,880
it means something, man.
And, and like Chris said, just

1280
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:05,760
like today, man, I, it's like I,
it's tough to get me rattled

1281
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:10,480
today because I'm in peace and I
see the mess around me and not

1282
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:12,760
just drugs and alcohol, just
life in general.

1283
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:14,840
Just life in.
General and I just.

1284
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,560
It's the negative impact of
social media.

1285
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:19,040
I, I don't want anything in me
that's going to.

1286
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:23,400
I want my mind so clear because
you know, I, I need to be used

1287
01:06:23,400 --> 01:06:25,960
to help people, man, because you
know, that's.

1288
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,800
So with with the the decades of
your addiction.

1289
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,120
OK, so then this this is going
to be fascinating.

1290
01:06:31,120 --> 01:06:33,680
The answer is going to fascinate
me when when you finally got to

1291
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:35,880
the point where there was no
drinking, there was no drugs,

1292
01:06:35,880 --> 01:06:39,920
there was no coke and crack and
pot the first week removed from

1293
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:43,840
that as you woke up every day.
Did you have that like you get

1294
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:45,880
cuz like when I first stopped
drinking, it's like you wake up

1295
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:51,880
and it's like, whoa, I don't
have a headache, you know, and I

1296
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,280
never my biggest problem too is
I drank so much water while

1297
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:55,960
drinking.
I never really had hangovers.

1298
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:58,600
So you know, that was the other
little.

1299
01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:02,800
You were good guys because
right, I was because just it was

1300
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:06,200
good, but it wasn't good because
it wasn't, it wasn't giving me

1301
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:08,240
waking up because I would drink
legit, man.

1302
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:11,040
I would start at 3:30 in the
afternoon when in the last six

1303
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:13,840
months of it, and I'd go till I
could fall asleep, not drunk,

1304
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:17,800
but comfortably numb, you know,
And and then I'd, you know, you

1305
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:19,760
wake up and start the whole
thing over again.

1306
01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:23,080
And a lot of it, like I can't
watch baseball and TV at all

1307
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:25,800
because I used to watch the
Diamondbacks and drink a case of

1308
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:27,840
another case.
But 12 to 18 beers with two or

1309
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:31,760
three shots of Jack and a big
bag of what was it, a Ruffles, a

1310
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:33,080
cheddar cheese, sour cream,
chips.

1311
01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:36,920
That was my thing.
So when I stopped drinking, man,

1312
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:40,600
that's why I went from 2:34 to
just because you don't have the

1313
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:41,720
beer, you don't have the junk
food.

1314
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:45,040
But I, I legit, I can't watch
baseball and TV.

1315
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:48,000
It's hard. 101st how many
episodes?

1316
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,520
I've never heard that story.
That's good.

1317
01:07:49,520 --> 01:07:51,520
OK, Yeah, yeah.
And then the other thing too,

1318
01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:56,640
is, is when about the year after
I stopped, you'd back in the

1319
01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:57,680
back.
I don't know if you still do it

1320
01:07:57,680 --> 01:07:59,280
because I don't watch
commercials, but they would, you

1321
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:03,880
know, poor Jack over Ice, right?
Or crown Whirl or whatever doers

1322
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:05,920
whisk, right?
I would salivate.

1323
01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:09,400
I would watching TVI would just
start salivating and remember,

1324
01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:13,480
oh, I had that one shot that one
time that I could feel it just

1325
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:16,800
splashed into my stomach.
My God, it gets warm.

1326
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:17,560
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's.

1327
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:19,800
A big lie.
Weird little shot, right?

1328
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:22,399
But maybe that'll kick the rest
of my goal.

1329
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,720
See, MM has luxury being able to
drink and control I.

1330
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:28,840
Was never an alcoholic.
Right, right.

1331
01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:32,240
So.
I don't like so let's at all,

1332
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:32,760
yeah.
I was.

1333
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:37,040
Fortunate, yeah.
Yeah, I thought I could keep

1334
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:42,479
drinking even after the drugs
and I finally.

1335
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:45,640
And that that was just another
part of the change in the last

1336
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:47,840
few years.
Like it just every everything

1337
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:50,800
just starts to come together for
me, you know, because I want

1338
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:52,240
years thinking I didn't have a
problem.

1339
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:58,080
But you know, I owned bars and I
think I did have a problem so

1340
01:08:58,560 --> 01:09:01,479
but a.
Little bit so so as we come to a

1341
01:09:01,479 --> 01:09:04,279
wrap here, let's let's let's
give people an idea how to find

1342
01:09:04,279 --> 01:09:06,200
your book and where to find you
online.

1343
01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:08,160
OK.
And so I want you to drop the

1344
01:09:08,160 --> 01:09:10,439
name of the book where they can
find it once it once it gets

1345
01:09:10,439 --> 01:09:12,640
published.
And then what's your YouTube

1346
01:09:12,640 --> 01:09:14,000
channel?
And if there's a specific

1347
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:16,240
website they go to just centered
around you in the process.

1348
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:20,960
OK, so the the book is called
the Process a Radical Approach

1349
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:26,800
to Recovery.
And my website is this.

1350
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:29,439
I'm all brand new, man.
I don't even my channels aren't

1351
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:33,160
all out yet, but I have a
website with just very basics.

1352
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:38,160
I just just got live, which is
radicalrecovery.com and it's not

1353
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:46,960
recovery, it's COVRY.
So recovery because that's all

1354
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:48,920
of my.
Have you back on once the yeah,

1355
01:09:49,640 --> 01:09:51,600
once, once the books out for a
couple months, we'll get you

1356
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:53,800
back on like in November or.
And.

1357
01:09:54,279 --> 01:09:56,920
We can we can plug all your your
things as well.

1358
01:09:56,920 --> 01:09:59,600
So the book is called The
Process The Radical Rd. to

1359
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:01,640
Recovery.
Yes, the yes.

1360
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:04,800
A radical approach to recovery.
Radical coach recovery And then

1361
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:06,040
where are you going to find that
online?

1362
01:10:06,480 --> 01:10:11,800
It's going to be on Amazon.
It's with TBN publishing and so

1363
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:14,600
everywhere.
I mean, they're they're all over

1364
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:16,560
the world.
So definitely Amazon.

1365
01:10:17,440 --> 01:10:22,320
Any you know Barnes and Nobles,
all the the big the outlets,

1366
01:10:22,320 --> 01:10:23,280
the.
Big.

1367
01:10:23,440 --> 01:10:25,400
OK.
And yeah, so that's that's all I

1368
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:28,520
have out there right now, but
it'll be out there.

1369
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:30,680
We're talking September, man.
I'm excited.

1370
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,080
OK, cool.
And people can find you on on

1371
01:10:33,080 --> 01:10:34,800
Facebook.
It's just searching, Steve.

1372
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:36,600
Feldman Yeah.
Steve Feldman, yes.

1373
01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:41,040
OK.
And Instagram, it's it's not

1374
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:44,440
built up yet.
Yeah, I'm fresh man.

1375
01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:45,280
We'll.
Help you with that?

1376
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:47,880
Yeah, yeah.
We'll get on there and friend us

1377
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:49,200
or.
OK, I'll do are.

1378
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:50,880
You on there?
I am under.

1379
01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:54,640
OK, I'll find you and I'll
friend you and we'll help you

1380
01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:56,120
with that.
Man, I appreciate you guys

1381
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:57,400
we're.
Just kind of getting that part

1382
01:10:57,400 --> 01:10:59,840
going ourselves.
Our YouTube channel is pretty

1383
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:03,840
robust, but Instagram has been,
I lagged behind.

1384
01:11:03,840 --> 01:11:07,320
Chris didn't have access to it.
So everybody go, if you have

1385
01:11:07,320 --> 01:11:09,240
Instagram, sign up with us and
Steve.

1386
01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:11,880
I'm going to jump on all your
stuff, man.

1387
01:11:11,880 --> 01:11:15,160
I appreciate you guys.
This has been great.

1388
01:11:15,160 --> 01:11:18,160
Thank you for the opportunity.
It's really nice to meet you and

1389
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:21,080
you incredible story and
congratulations on everything.

1390
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:22,000
Man, Yeah.
Thank you.

1391
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:24,440
Guys and again, I don't when
people write books, I don't like

1392
01:11:24,440 --> 01:11:27,360
to share all the books content
because I want people to go buy.

1393
01:11:27,360 --> 01:11:29,800
Yeah, man.
So that's, that's why we just

1394
01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:32,200
kind of a little bit of softball
in your windows, because we want

1395
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:35,600
people to get enough out of this
to think, oh, that could help.

1396
01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:37,040
Yeah.
Because I, I dig.

1397
01:11:37,040 --> 01:11:39,680
I dig the fact it's a workbook.
Yeah, that's all.

1398
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:41,760
Yeah.
Because I, I, yeah, the

1399
01:11:41,760 --> 01:11:43,760
workbook's cool.
Because then, you know, it takes

1400
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:45,880
ownership.
It's hard to rebel against

1401
01:11:45,880 --> 01:11:47,600
something that you agree to do
for yourself.

1402
01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:50,720
So having to write it down in a
workbook and a daily

1403
01:11:51,360 --> 01:11:53,640
accountability every two weeks
per step is I think that's

1404
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:56,160
fantastic, man.
I appreciate you guys in this

1405
01:11:56,160 --> 01:11:58,440
format is awesome man I really
enjoyed it.

1406
01:11:59,600 --> 01:12:02,360
So thank you.
Michael was tuning in for pretty

1407
01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:04,240
much the whole episode again.
Hi, Michael.

1408
01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:07,680
You got to go check out the live
stream on YouTube there, Mr.

1409
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:09,040
Dunham.
I will.

1410
01:12:09,440 --> 01:12:12,960
He said he'll be checking Steve
out and great show.

1411
01:12:12,960 --> 01:12:14,600
So thanks for tuning in again,
Michael.

1412
01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:17,120
We appreciate it.
And Ken says he's looking

1413
01:12:17,120 --> 01:12:20,720
forward to Friday.
So couple of people chiming in

1414
01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:22,200
on the YouTube.
Thanks for listening.

1415
01:12:22,720 --> 01:12:24,560
Yeah, and we close every show
with this.

1416
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:27,120
Don't let the bad days when
somebody will miss you and love

1417
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:28,320
you if you don't wake up
tomorrow.

1418
01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:31,720
So reach out to anybody that you
think of that you can talk to.

1419
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:34,320
It really is going to be better
tomorrow.

1420
01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:37,240
Just, you know, take a deep
breath, close your eyes, go to

1421
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:39,400
sleep and wake up tomorrow.
It's a brighter, better day.

1422
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:41,040
Absolutely.
This is you and somebody will,

1423
01:12:41,160 --> 01:12:43,240
Somebody Loves You.
So, you know, make sure you're

1424
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:46,440
there at present in the morning.
Love it, right?

1425
01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:48,280
Thank you guys.
Steve Feldman, thank you very

1426
01:12:48,280 --> 01:12:49,760
much.
The book, The process coming out

1427
01:12:49,760 --> 01:12:52,320
in September, it's a it's a
radical approach to recovery.

1428
01:12:52,720 --> 01:12:55,080
We're going to have you back on
after the book comes out and we

1429
01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:57,880
can plug all your social medias
again and and just kind of get a

1430
01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:00,560
feel for what kind of response
the book had because I'm I'm

1431
01:13:00,560 --> 01:13:03,360
interested to see that because
it is such a different approach

1432
01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:06,120
to getting out of addiction.
So you definitely want to check

1433
01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:08,800
it out for Steve Feld, Mike
Michaels, I'm Kristen.

1434
01:13:08,800 --> 01:13:11,360
I'm until next time, see you.
Peace.

1435
01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:12,440
Thanks.
Love you brother.

1436
01:13:12,800 --> 01:13:14,360
Love you too man, nice to meet
you.

1437
01:13:14,400 --> 01:13:31,640
Steve, nice to meet you guys.
The place where you will go

1438
01:13:31,680 --> 01:13:45,040
behind
your eyes.

1439
01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:32,120
You haven't found solids in your
sand, you just fought fighting.

1440
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:36,920
Wait for the dead when it's.
Closer out there and.

1441
01:15:37,320 --> 01:15:40,640
For the wind, you ain't no
creature.

1442
01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:44,680
We're playing found.
And you should you, Chris.

1443
01:15:44,880 --> 01:15:52,560
On the almighty days you gotta
dream Who in your life to keep

1444
01:15:52,880 --> 01:15:59,200
us all in every day.
Take your chair behind your

1445
01:15:59,280 --> 01:16:03,320
eyes.
Feel the soul, every shame now.

1446
01:16:03,440 --> 01:16:11,960
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

1447
01:16:13,440 --> 01:16:15,840
Take a moment.
We will see you.

1448
01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:20,320
See him fight the family to you
more clear.

1449
01:16:46,210 --> 01:16:50,730
You gotta, you gotta.
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta.