#151 - Steff Conger - Relationship/Sexual Health Coach

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And we're live.
What's up there, boys and girls?

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We are live on the Twitch and
the YouTube.

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This is the Chris and Mike show.
We have a really cool special

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guest today.
It's the reason I wore my shirt.

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That's what she said.
Just Steph, Congress here.

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Just hold on.
Let's get the intro out of the

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way.
There you go.

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OK, so we are here, we are live,
we are rock'n'roll with Steph.

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Steph Conger, a relationship
slash sexual health coach.

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How's that for an intro?
Awesome.

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Can you hear me, Steph?
Uh oh.

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Can you hear me, Steph?
I can just hear the music.

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Oh, stop the music again.
I do.

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I know that happened in the
morning too.

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I don't know why it's doing.
This wondering if you were

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trying to talk to me but I
literally couldn't hear you.

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I heard like little blips of
like the.

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Second time that's happened too.
Yeah, all I could hear was just

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jamming.
I'm like, we're just jamming for

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like 5 minutes.
OK.

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All right.
OK, but now you're but now you

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can hear, right?
I can hear everything.

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The music is gone.
Cool.

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Cool, cool.
So again, this is this is Steph

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Congress.
She's a relationship slash

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sexual health coach.
Super cool, super fun.

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I wore my that's where she said
shirt.

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So every time she said something
I'm just going to back up and

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and do this.
Okay, so.

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Welcome.
Thank you for coming on.

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Yeah, and see, the cool thing is
we've had everything from

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authors and, and, and you know,
self self help gurus and weight

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loss people and fitness
trainers, nutritionalists,

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musicians up the walls.
So you're the first actual

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person that's come on the show
that is relationship,

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relationship slash sexual health
related.

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And so let's lead with your,
your credentials and stuff so

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people understand you're not
just somebody who decided one

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day, oh, I'm going to do this
for fun on Instagram.

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Well, it's an honor to have to
have myself on the show.

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The thing in my head that says,
Steph, don't say anything stupid

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that like that didn't that
didn't just OK.

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Anyway, I just need to be here.
We have 150 examples of us

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saying stuff stupid, so you.
Do it more.

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Than a big deal.
You're good.

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I'll just put a little tally on
my paper for every time I do

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that.
So, so I actually started, I

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have like, all right, let's
start at the beginning.

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I started when I was 19, right?
So I've been doing this for 18

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years.
And I literally did actually

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just say one day I think I'm
gonna sell sex toys.

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Cool.
Because that's how it started.

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So I went to a party because
have you guys heard of like Pure

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Romance?
Or slumber party, Yeah.

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Absolutely.
Yeah, Yeah.

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Yeah, so that's where it all
began.

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Or 19 years ago.
No, 18 years ago.

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I was 19, walked into and you
know, do you know where I'm

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from?
I'm from Utah, right?

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Do you know how conservative?
We do.

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We do.
Yes, yes we do.

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So somebody was like, do you
want to come to like my sex

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party?
And I was like, this sounds

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illegal.
I'm in, I'm in.

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And I was there.
I was like, this is awesome.

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And pretty much immediately I
really saw the need for the

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education portion because the
house was packed and the ladies

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were, they couldn't get enough
of it.

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And from that point I was like,
wow, I feel like I kind of found

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my thing here.
So that is how I walked into it.

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And then yeah, from there, over
the last I worked for, I was on

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the board with corporate with
both slumber parties and Pure

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Romance.
They sent me to a bunch of

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sexual health certifications.
I've never actually been to

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college.
Like full disclaimer, these are

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all just, these are all what I
call like drop in courses,

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right, that I've taken over the
years.

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So, but I mean, 18 years of
experience, like working in the

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field with women.
And then just, you know, like my

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menopause certification, that I
have a couple of sexual health

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certifications from like the
Shaw Institute.

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And anyway, Long story short,
there you go.

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Well, I'll tell you something
that we've talked about on here.

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Stuff is, and this is a fact,
whether people want to believe

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it or not, the Internet would
not exist if it was not for

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pornography.
So when I heard that statistic,

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the person that said it
basically said either that's not

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true, which it is true.
So that makes a lot of people in

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the world a bunch of liars,
right?

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Because people say, oh, I don't
look at that.

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Yeah.
Pornography makes more money

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than Microsoft, Google, Apple.
If you combine all their money

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together, the Internet
pornography still makes more

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money than all those combined.
So there's a lot of lonely

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people out of there.
There's a lot of people that

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like to, you know, live on the
edge behind closed doors,

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basically.
There's a lot of liars.

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There really is, because that's
a fact.

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The Internet would not exist
even today if it was not for

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porn.
Well, I think too that we're

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coming.
So what I've watched happen is

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we're like coming out of an age
of shame of like, I don't do

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that.
I don't like when I very first

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started, like women would be
like, I don't even know.

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I don't touch myself.
And whatever lies, lies.

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Come on, Karen.
Yes, you do.

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Yeah.
Right.

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We're embracing it now.
I've watched it happen over the

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years and now we're like girl
power, like flick your bean.

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Guys get cool stuff too, you
know.

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So.
So you just scrolling on the

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site huh?
I'm given well because we have

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the power.
So so I this because you open

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that can of worms right away.
I wanted to share this.

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So this everybody who's a
parent, everybody who's a parent

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understands what an advent
calendar is because you get the

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little chocolate calendar for
the kids to open up every day

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before Christmas.
They get the little chocolate

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treat.
So Steph and I can do this like

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live because my wife doesn't
watch my stuff because, you

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know, she lives with me.
She doesn't have to.

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So I got this.
It's an it's an adult advent

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calendar.
I'm it's going to be here next

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week.
It's going to be a surprise on

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December 1st.
So instead of opening a little

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box of chocolates every day,
we're going to open a little box

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of woohoo every day.
Because you know, Mike and I

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have talked about, I've alluded
to it and some of the the shows

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we've had.
I can my my secrets to marriage.

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You have to have a separate
comforter and you just, I mean,

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my wife and I, we've been on a
honeymoon for 31 years.

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And that's the cool thing about
us.

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I know not everybody's the same,
but if you're looking for

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something to spice up your life
and spice up the the once you

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get behind that closed bedroom
door, go to Steph Conger and

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it's STEF Conger CONGE r.com and
buy the advent calendar.

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Yes, right.
So so since I have it up and I

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open this box, kind of explain
what that is, Steph.

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So our our our viewers and
listeners in 27 countries, mind

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you, can understand what this is
and how it can help enhance

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their relationship.
I'm on it.

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Right on.
That's what she said.

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Tell us all about 27 countries.
I literally just know Ola.

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So anyway, OK, it's pretty
sweet.

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These are always a hit and this
year's is probably one of the

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best.
So this I sourced from if you

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know wow tech.
Wow tech makes 2 like round

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breaking products, one of them
being the original air pressure

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technology toy which is the
womanizer.

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Have you guys heard of the
Womanizer?

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Yeah, I have heard of the
womanizer.

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Okay, so it's got the original
womanizer in there, which is

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genius.
And ladies, if you're watching

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this and you don't have air
pressure, you need air pressure.

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I promise you your life will
change.

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Your skin will clear up.
You will literally be like a

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seasonal depression where where
because it won't be there and

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then that's in there and then
it's also got like the the

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original We vibe.
Do you guys know what to leave?

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I know what to do.
I follow.

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I follow you so and you know so
I.

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I love.
That I'm not one of these people

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that pretends that I don't, that
I don't have any interest in

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that kind of stuff.
I just say yeah, I love it as

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much as most people should.
Yes, I love that as much as most

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people should.
Yeah.

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Yeah.
So that's in there.

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And then like the entire thing
just has little like things that

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you maybe wouldn't try.
Like I don't want to give away

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all the surprises, but like.
Yeah, don't give away the

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secrets.
Yeah, no, no, a little like

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paddling, because maybe that's
not something that you would

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try, but it's in there and
you're opening up a box and

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you're exploring with your
partner every single night.

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That's what's in there is fun.
And the fun.

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The fun thing about opening up a
box?

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You're opening up two boxes.
Proverbally, I don't.

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Know.
You know, let me ask you this

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when you go to these parties for
like women that are listening

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that maybe have considered going
to these things, but you know,

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for whatever reason, they just
can't get up the nerve to go

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explain to people who have never
done this.

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What is one of these parties
like?

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Like walk us through how you put
it together, you know, and then

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what kind of happens while
you're there so that the women

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that are interested, that can't
get up the nerve, maybe they'll

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hear it's not what they think it
is.

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Great question, Mike.
Great question.

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Thank you 100%.
Yeah.

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So I really pride myself on
creating an environment that is

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super safe, like, and, and
honestly, I swear I learned this

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trick by accident a long time
ago.

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If you keep people laughing,
they can't be uncomfortable

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because you're literally like,
and I do that.

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I'm hitting you with the jokes.
You don't even know what's

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happening.
You're laughing, you're crying,

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You know what I mean?
You're laugh crying and we're

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just having fun from start to
finish.

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I've got jokes lined up like I'm
not messing around.

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I write jokes.
So it truly is more like a

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party.
Yes, it's fun, but it's

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educational.
So I'm not just like, you know,

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getting ladies in the suite.
It's not.

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It's classy and fun at the same
time.

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It's informational.
So I mean, when I'm setting up

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for one, I've got a table, I'm
standing in front of the table.

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I hide the big daddies until the
end for my shy girls.

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I'm like, listen, I'm not going
to pull out the beads until you

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guys are warmed up.
That's just rude, right?

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So we wait until the end and
then yeah, I have everybody

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kinda I and I can, I've done
this for long enough.

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I can read people.
And so if you're putting off

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that you might be a little
uncomfortable, I'm going to, you

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know, I'm going to cater to
that.

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I'm going to make sure that you
get a little more attention for

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me so you feel comfortable, you
know, but typically by the end,

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that's the crazy part.
And also the beautiful part is

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by the end, they're, they're
typically coming in the shopping

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room because you get a private
session with me after.

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And by that point they're like
telling me their darkest

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secrets.
And I'm like, that's how I know

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I did my job.
I'm like here.

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We are and and see that's part
of it too, because and I like

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what you said earlier, we're
kind of coming out of the of the

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taboo.
How how sexual health is?

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Oh, you can't.
You know, get rid of those

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periton values that we.
Probably have right because

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00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:56,760
because all it does all it does
is enhances your sexual health,

229
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,000
right, which is enhances your
sexual life, which enhances your

230
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,880
relationship.
There are so there's so many

231
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,560
things that I follow on on
Facebook.

232
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:08,760
There's a lot of dad groups I
follow and there's there's

233
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,920
there's so much depression in
those groups because and you

234
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,680
know, like one, one was they his
wife, they don't have sex since

235
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,000
they had their kids.
Like she's just turned off to

236
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,680
it, right?
And then you have ones that

237
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:24,360
it's, it sucks coming home.
And these are just summaries of

238
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,960
comments I've seen that sucks
coming home.

239
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,160
And and you know, the kids
acknowledge me that the wife

240
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,880
doesn't.
Well, I mean, it's a 2.

241
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,720
It's a two way street, right?
Like Nikki and I had our

242
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,400
problems, but it was related to
my drinking.

243
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,240
But once we got through that,
once I sobered up, it was a

244
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,440
whole different life.
And we've, we've been together

245
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,360
the entire time.
But it's, it's one of those

246
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,320
things I stepped back and
realized, OK, part of this is my

247
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,600
fault and part of it was her
fault.

248
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,520
So we both kind of took
ownership in that.

249
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,160
So I think what you're doing
with the sexual revolution,

250
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,880
let's call it in a, in a new
Millennium, it's it, but it is

251
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,560
you.
It's, it needs to be fun.

252
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,640
So because I had that same
thought that Mike asked you and

253
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,640
because I thought about going to
those things over the years, but

254
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,960
it's kind of like, well, you
know, grab the wife, let's go do

255
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,240
this.
But it, it truly needs to be in

256
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,600
an engaging environment and you
break down all those barriers

257
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,360
and all those tensions.
And like you said, then it's

258
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,240
like, let's go to the shopping
room because you've already

259
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,600
established that.
Rapport, What are you and I

260
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,840
learned expert like 50 episodes
ago when we read that stupid ad

261
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:27,480
from the 70s that the Hitachi
was actually turned into a

262
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,600
masturbation device by women.
Men didn't encourage women to do

263
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,160
that.
Women did it on their own, they

264
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,920
bought it and they're like, it
doesn't do shit for my knee, but

265
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,200
it really works here.
Good.

266
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:41,680
Yeah, and that's The thing is it
was treated as hysteria.

267
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:45,440
Like way, if you go way back in
the history of the vibrator,

268
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,200
like women would come into the
doctor and they'd be like,

269
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,640
they'd be all wound up, right,
Because they didn't have that

270
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,800
sexual release that they needed.
What's wrong with me?

271
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,280
They called it hysteria.
And then they, the doctors were

272
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,760
diddling their Skittle.
And then they're like, you're

273
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,640
good, Susan.
Have a good day.

274
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,080
So, yeah, the same women figured
that out for themselves.

275
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,360
They're like, it feels good
here.

276
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,960
What does it feel like?
Right, this is one of the

277
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,320
reasons why I love stuff dude.
Because of the way she explains

278
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,720
things, right, Diddle your
skittle.

279
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,680
OK, that's, that's you're not
there's, there's, there's

280
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,560
nothing that that is bad about
that, right.

281
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:27,400
So when she does her stuff on on
on Facebook and or Instagram,

282
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,560
there it is.
You know, this is the magic wand

283
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,000
that that legit.
But it was it was funny.

284
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,520
We were doing these weird
commercial ads and stuff and

285
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,560
it's like, it's crazy.
Some of the stuff that in the

286
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:43,120
70s they used to do and that
that falls under the best sex

287
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,480
toy for women from some other
relationship coach that we're

288
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,840
not going to mention, but that
was the best image I could get

289
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:52,640
for that.
So yeah, I, I dig, I dig, I dig

290
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,360
what you do.
I dig how your approaches and

291
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,840
and all that kind of jazz.
For sure.

292
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,240
Yeah, I can.
I can totally tell that you are

293
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,600
successful at what you do.
Your attitude.

294
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,640
You glow when you talk about it,
and that's what it takes.

295
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,920
Yeah.
You know, that's how I look when

296
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,400
I talk about music.
I become a different person.

297
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:12,120
So yeah, you find your groove in
life, and you've definitely

298
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,000
found it, for sure.
Thank you.

299
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,200
And nothing can be better than a
woman helping other women,

300
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,240
right?
Because, right.

301
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,760
You guys feel comfortable around
each other for sure.

302
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,880
Yeah, definitely a trust factor,
definitely.

303
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,560
And it's understandable it has
to be that way.

304
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,120
Yeah.
And the other thing I wanted to

305
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,200
like piggyback off of what Chris
said earlier that I thought was

306
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:39,240
important is it's, it's we look
at, we don't look at for

307
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:43,800
whatever reason, sexual health
doesn't come into this fear of

308
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,920
like we are big on mental
health.

309
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,360
Oh, mental health, mental
health, mental health, which I,

310
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:52,080
I'm in it, I get it, I'm with
it, physical health, spiritual

311
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,960
health.
But then we're we're missing

312
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,520
that.
We still haven't said that.

313
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:59,800
That counts and that counts.
No, we still hide behind it.

314
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,720
You know, we we've talked about
it for the whole, you know, 1st

315
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:07,120
15 minutes we've been on here.
It's such still and I agree with

316
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,520
you, we're coming out of it.
We're like a flop power that's

317
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:15,600
blooming, you know, But there's
still that underlying holding on

318
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,480
to those old ridiculous values
that we don't talk about this,

319
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,120
you know, we keep it behind
closed doors.

320
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,680
That was the dumbest thing we
ever did, is just repress.

321
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,160
Well, what, what what that
created?

322
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:32,960
This is my original like thought
and theory on this is, is that

323
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,400
what we've created in all this
shame and repression?

324
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:41,280
Because I think what we've tried
to do is like, oh, you can't

325
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,840
talk to your kids about that
because you're going to create a

326
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,920
bunch of sexual deviants.
So what we've done is exactly

327
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,920
what we tried to not do is
that's where a lot of this, and

328
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,880
this might be controversial, I
do not care.

329
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,360
This is what I believe.
This is but This is why we're

330
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:57,760
it's a podcast.
You do whatever you want.

331
00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,560
Fire away.
Stuff Well.

332
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,319
Yeah, it's because of all that
shame and the lack of

333
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:08,520
normalizing the human experience
of being like it is normal to

334
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:12,040
have these feelings, it is
normal to have these desires.

335
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,040
But because I've been shamed
since the time I could touch it,

336
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,040
then I grow up thinking that
it's bad.

337
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,920
And I dare say that a lot of
this is.

338
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,440
We're getting into Gray waters
here, but well, fuck it.

339
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:32,080
This is this.
Is where we get a sexual assault

340
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:37,040
because.
Yeah, yes.

341
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,560
Sorry, but I just think that we
have not.

342
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,040
If you know nothing about it and
you're not taught anything about

343
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:48,240
where that energy is supposed to
go, but all you know that it's

344
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:52,800
bad, you're gonna sneak around
to try to get that stuff.

345
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,680
Hello.
You know what my analogy to that

346
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,840
is?
Stuff is the world of drugs, and

347
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,280
we talk about it on here too.
It's super important for people

348
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,000
to know the drugs that will kill
you versus the drugs that will

349
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,600
not kill you, right?
We lump them all into one

350
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,280
category and we say they're all
bad.

351
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,560
That's not true.
Sex is the same way.

352
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:16,160
Thank you.
That's the perfect, that's the

353
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,600
perfect analogy to kind of tie
into where I was going with that

354
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,320
is yeah, we're just like, oh,
just don't talk about it, don't

355
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,320
touch it, don't do it.
And then and we wonder why we

356
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:29,360
have all these this actual like
issues around it, you know?

357
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,640
Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox,
get all my I.

358
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,200
Agree with everything you're
saying, and it kind of coincides

359
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,720
with what Chris was saying about
his issues earlier.

360
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,520
When him and Nikki came to a
crossroads.

361
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,480
They could have just as easily
went the other way where they

362
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,560
shut down and they, you know,
went within themselves and

363
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,480
everything imploded and it fell
apart.

364
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,400
But they chose the right path,
which is we're going to talk

365
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,200
about this, you know, head on,
we're going to face it.

366
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,080
We're going to get through it
together and we're going to come

367
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,600
out better the other side,
right?

368
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,640
And now on a day-to-day basis,
they talk about their problems.

369
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:06,160
Hey, whatever happened today,
This is what bothered me.

370
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,040
This is my good part of the day.
This is my bad part of the day.

371
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,880
That's what people don't do in
the bedroom, right?

372
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,680
So they get in the bedroom and
then they look at each other

373
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,160
like, well, I guess it's time to
do it.

374
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,320
What do you want to?
Do I don't know the average and

375
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:24,640
the average the average couple
has has sex 54 * a year and the

376
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:29,400
reason is 54 is birthdays so you
once a week plus your birthdays

377
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,640
Nikki actually.
But there's a lot of guys out

378
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,880
there going, Jesus, I, you get
it, once a week.

379
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,680
Yeah.
Well, that's what I'm yeah, but

380
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,840
so, but that's the thing though,
I think I mean, personally, and

381
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,960
because Nikki and I, we're
blessed, we have a really strong

382
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,480
relationship from the ground up.
There's nothing that's that's

383
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:52,560
taboo with us and all forms of
of our relationship from not

384
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:56,960
just, you know, I mean, so, but
I think being in a healthy

385
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,720
relationship affords the ability
to communicate on all different

386
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,320
levels.
So when you bring people into

387
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:06,160
your parties and you open that
up, do you do, do they like

388
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,480
follow up with you and stay in
contact and say, oh, you know,

389
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,920
like they're fearful of how
their spouse is going to react?

390
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,880
And then all of a sudden it's
like, Oh my gosh, the spouse

391
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,920
loves it.
Now we're on this other level of

392
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,200
things because it just opens up
the dialogue.

393
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:23,000
And then as a woman, right, you
feel more wanted when, when the

394
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,760
husband's engaging and opening
up to things and same thing,

395
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,360
like I feel more wanted with,
with how Nikki and I have

396
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:34,520
embraced our our life together.
She's a teacher.

397
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:39,000
So I can't like drop too much
things, But I, I just, I just

398
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,760
think that this part of the life
of a married couple or, or just

399
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,160
a couple in general that's been
together.

400
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:50,000
If this, if the sex life is, is,
is not healthy.

401
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,160
But also what's the word
prevalent present?

402
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,200
You know what I'm trying to say
it it to me.

403
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,840
To me, it'll open up the rest of
the communication in the

404
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,760
relationship and make it that
much stronger, right?

405
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,240
100%.
So you're seeing so so you have

406
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,560
people that come back you after
the parties like, Oh my gosh.

407
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,960
Oh yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and, and,

408
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:15,400
and prior to so in 2020 is when
I took everything kind of

409
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,280
online.
Prior to that, you could only, I

410
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,440
would never have met you prior
to that because I was only in

411
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:26,120
people's houses.
I got on the Internet in 2020

412
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,280
and then I got this whole new
world and I was like, wow.

413
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:33,000
And so I do.
I get my, my community around

414
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,520
here that I've built over the
last, you know, 18 years.

415
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,840
But now I've built kind of an
online thing where people follow

416
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,560
up with me.
I'm so glad that you suggested

417
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,240
that.
And I love that feedback because

418
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,760
I'm like, hell yeah, it's
working.

419
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,200
You know, that's awesome.
It's working.

420
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,320
It's getting the message out,
you know, and so are you.

421
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,600
Reaching people all over the
world now like we are.

422
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:56,440
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is cool.
It is really cool.

423
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,080
Yeah.
I have a good time doing it and

424
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,840
it's just fun.
I have a fun time.

425
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,920
You know, I sprinkle in like,
oh, go ahead.

426
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,440
No, no, I just, I pulled up your
Instagram page.

427
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,440
Can you see it?
Oh yeah.

428
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,600
They're all they're all videos
and they're like I talked,

429
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,800
talked earlier when you made the
thing about diddling the

430
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,880
Skittle.
You also talk about Pickles.

431
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,120
The vocabulary you use is is I
think is genius.

432
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,800
I love that.
Thank you.

433
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,880
Yeah, I.
I cuss like a sailor, but I

434
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:36,040
appreciate someone who can use
other words effectively.

435
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,040
Well, and here's the thing
though, is I, I actually would

436
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:44,640
love to say the proper terms
because, but you can't.

437
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,240
I'm I, I can't.
Yeah, I would love to use the

438
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:53,360
proper terms because it's to me,
it's I had to just get right

439
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,840
with this.
I had to just take the L on this

440
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,880
and say even though I want to
normalize all this stuff and

441
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,480
being able to just say clitoris
and penis and all all the

442
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,480
things.
I I have to play the game until

443
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,880
I can play the game.
I want to play the game the way

444
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,600
I want to play the game, right,
Because I don't want to.

445
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,360
Yeah, I don't want to say the
love tunnel like I'm a grown.

446
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:18,200
Ass woman, but I know.
But but it's a clever way to say

447
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,000
it.
Yes, it is.

448
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:20,680
It is.
That's.

449
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,160
The fun, that's the fun thing
about you is, is you're getting

450
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,480
over those restrictions by by
using your brain and being

451
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,320
creative with the terminology
you're using.

452
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,320
I actually tend to agree with
Chris.

453
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,880
I think it's more creative to do
it the way you're doing it.

454
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,280
Well, thank you.
Thank you you.

455
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,640
Know, because the other reason I
think it works too is because

456
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,440
then you're not because again,
like your, your parties, right?

457
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,440
You, you, you mentioned earlier
how someone's going to be

458
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,680
tinted, you know, timid and shy,
kind of like.

459
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,520
And if you're talking about the
penis ejaculating the vagina, da

460
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,760
da da da, then that's going to
make them kind of shut.

461
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,200
Down for sure, Absolutely.
But when you're talking about

462
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,960
Biddle and the pickle and
licking the Skittle, you know

463
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,040
it's it's it's you get laughter,
though, and then laughter.

464
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,600
You're talking to two guys who
played in a rock band for 20

465
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,120
years.
You know, we, we've heard it

466
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,120
all.
We've seen it all.

467
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,680
You're not going to offend us,
but I understand where you're

468
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:15,000
coming from in that society is
not my mother is not ready for

469
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,920
that right?
Yeah.

470
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:21,000
Is your mom watching Mama?
Kay watches every one of these

471
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,680
episodes, but she's also not
delusional.

472
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,040
She knows I played in heavy
metal band for 20 years.

473
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:31,680
Kate So Mama So So Mama Kay, Do
yourself a favor and surprise

474
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,920
steel get the advent calendar.
Yeah, get yourself family

475
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,960
calendar.
It's so cool.

476
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,680
It's so fun.
I endorsed that.

477
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:41,720
I endorsed that.
I know you did.

478
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,840
While we're on that subject real
quick, Steele's birthday is on

479
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,480
Monday, so happy birthday.
Steele Yeah, birthday still

480
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:48,600
steals his dad.
Happy birthday.

481
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,400
Still, that's his nickname.
Happy birthday.

482
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,440
So here's a here's a fun little
question for you, Steph.

483
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,280
So you're married, you have a,
you have a, it's a six year old

484
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,880
boy or girl.
I have a six year old boy.

485
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:02,000
Yep, and I have an almost 20
year old boy as well.

486
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,040
Oh, gap in the matrix.
OK, Yeah.

487
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,920
So I was like, I don't want them
too close together.

488
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,680
So how?
And you don't have to answer if

489
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,240
you don't want to, but how much
of your sex life does?

490
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:21,280
Do you experiment with your
husband before you, before you

491
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,880
share the product, if it works
or not?

492
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:24,960
I can see your Guinea pig.
Oh yeah.

493
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:26,760
Oh yeah.
Right on.

494
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,800
Oh yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

495
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,960
And this is crazy.
But like, that's awesome.

496
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,520
Sometimes we get, oh, he loves
it.

497
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:40,720
He's very happy, man.
Sometimes, like, for example,

498
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,640
when we're bringing on a bunch
of new stuff, which we have been

499
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:47,160
the last couple months, like we
get burned out on that.

500
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:52,040
Like, like vanilla sex is like,
oh, we're just gonna have just

501
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,720
Reg.
And that's like a treat.

502
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,440
Like this is just Reg like,
yeah, yeah.

503
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,680
No toys today honey, just bend
over the bed.

504
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,080
We're gonna do missionary, yeah.
Right.

505
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,960
Yeah, yeah, we're excited about
it.

506
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,200
He's like, what?
We're not putting anything in

507
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:13,000
anybody's butt.
OK, yes, yeah, that's what she

508
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,960
said.
But, you know, and I I that's

509
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,120
the fun part.
But that is that is I stand

510
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,680
behind the products that I
promote because I have.

511
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,640
But like you're not going to hit
a home run with everybody.

512
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,320
I understand that, you know,
like I have people.

513
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,520
I just threw out a new product
and it's been going great.

514
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,760
And then we've had a couple of
misses and I'm like, you know,

515
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,400
I'll always try to troubleshoot
with them.

516
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,360
But that's the other thing.
Why I feel like I, I, I love

517
00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:42,680
people.
I genuinely do.

518
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:48,320
And I also want I, I learned
this a long time ago is like you

519
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:52,200
have you ever heard the saying
don't, don't trip over a dollar

520
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:56,360
to pick up a penny, right?
So if you you will, you will

521
00:26:56,360 --> 00:27:00,400
lose the long term life of a
customer and have their loyalty

522
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,520
by screwing them out of like
that one time sale.

523
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,160
So I'll like I always take care
of my people on if you don't

524
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,720
like something, let me know.
Like I got you.

525
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,400
And they know that, you know,
that was a side note.

526
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:18,320
But yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, we we satisfaction almost

527
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:18,840
guaranteed.
Yeah.

528
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,920
So I'm on your Instagram page,
so I'm going to play this and

529
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,840
we're going to see.
No reason for you to have a hard

530
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,720
time or a bad time in the
bedroom when you're doing the

531
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,600
things.
We don't need to remove

532
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,560
ourselves from our bodies
anymore and be like counting the

533
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,360
shingles on the roof or
whatever.

534
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,240
But I get it because here's the
deal.

535
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,640
We as ladies, we just have a
bunch of browser tabs open.

536
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,000
So sometimes we need something
that helps us get out of our

537
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,560
head and into our bodies.
Something that makes it so you

538
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,920
absolutely cannot ignore what is
happening.

539
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,560
That's where this stuff comes
in.

540
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,720
This is a vasodilator.
That means that it works

541
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,640
instantly.
Wherever you put it, you're

542
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,560
going to put on the bean Bean
Town USA little dabble, do you?

543
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:57,920
It's going to bring the blood
flow.

544
00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:00,360
All of a sudden you're going to
be like, Oh my gosh, things are

545
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,440
happening.
Statement, more blood flow, more

546
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,160
sensitivity, more sensation.
You're ready to party.

547
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,640
I've got it for you over my
profile.

548
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,360
It's under enhancements and
moisturizers.

549
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:12,280
It's called high voltage.
See, so that kind of stuff I

550
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,040
love because you're that's
awesome.

551
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,120
You're you're sharing something
and you're sharing something in

552
00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:19,800
a positive way.
You give you give a real

553
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,560
creative insight of of where to
put it, what it does and how the

554
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,520
reaction of or how you know how
your.

555
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,720
Presentation is outstanding,
right?

556
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,600
Very, very good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

557
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,720
I was, I was trying to find
your, your, your I was engaged,

558
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,680
your I was trying to find your.
I was trying to find your

559
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,400
vacation swing video because
that that I love that.

560
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,280
Oh yeah, yeah, she has this.
I've got a couple.

561
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,480
She has this door swing, she
puts on the door and then the

562
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,840
video is just it's like like
this, you know, we have a good.

563
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,160
Spot on.
Let's make sure we're following

564
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,920
her on Instagram.
I think yeah, we are.

565
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,440
She wouldn't followed us.
And I think I've, I mean, I, I

566
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,680
know I follow her personally.
I don't know about about the

567
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,080
show, but you can.
Check it out.

568
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,000
Get your shit together, Mike.
I know I'm.

569
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,720
Offended.
I'm offended.

570
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,600
So now this is this is the room
that you typically are filming

571
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,400
in for Instagram, right where
you're sitting right now.

572
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:17,160
Yeah, yeah, I, I kind of move
around the house, but I

573
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,160
typically just, Yep, right here,
this is the main office.

574
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,120
Yep.
And then we have another office

575
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,920
and then we have, or we have
well, the, the warehouse.

576
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,440
And then I kind of like to also
film in my bedroom cuz I'm like,

577
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,640
yeah, you know, but I do film in
here a lot.

578
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,840
Yeah, well, I always, I know
this because because the

579
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,960
background.
Yeah, all the the.

580
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,160
The supply.
Yeah, all the things are back

581
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,120
there.
OK, what's your Instagram page?

582
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,200
It's Steph Conger.
Ste.

583
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,040
But listen, I'll.
Open it.

584
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,520
Open up, Michael.
We'll open it up.

585
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,800
Look on the look on the screen,
buddy.

586
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,920
I'm lucky.
It's right there or TikTok or we

587
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:55,440
gotta.
Get it?

588
00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:02,240
It's Steph Conger on every
single platform, and I'm always

589
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,280
Steph, Steph Conger every
platform.

590
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,640
TikTok.
Instagram.

591
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,000
Facebook.
Yeah, so then right there you

592
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,400
can just you can just see it's
education plus pleasure

593
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:15,440
positive, which I love sexual
health and intimacy and libido.

594
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,680
That's that's just cool because
it kind of covers all the things

595
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,400
and you're not just stuck into a
box.

596
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,280
Yeah, yeah.
Well, yeah, because I also

597
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,680
don't, I want to strengthen the
whole relationship, right.

598
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,360
So I, I was going to do this in
front of my book.

599
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,720
So if I'm a tiny little bit of a
nerd alert, you know what I'm

600
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,240
saying?
Like, I'll be reading some

601
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,240
books.
And so anything just that

602
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:42,600
encompasses having a strong
relationship.

603
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:48,640
And you know what, I can totally
relate Chris to not you said

604
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,480
that you and your wife had a
struggle.

605
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:53,800
I learned a lot of this shit
from my own struggles, right?

606
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:59,160
Like me and my partner had a
rough go, but we figured it out.

607
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,560
And then you can, you can attest
to this.

608
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:05,200
I'm sure that once you come out
on the other side of that, like

609
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,920
we almost gave up, then you're
like, wow, this is better than

610
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:10,920
ever.
Like what were we even thinking?

611
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,720
We were going to give up on this
shit.

612
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,120
And that's also what I've been
kind of leaning into lately with

613
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:21,280
some of my content pieces is
like you're at the first of a

614
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,160
new relationship.
Like it's rainbows and sunshines

615
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,720
and butterflies out your ass and
like everybody's happy.

616
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:32,560
We're good because because of
the well and the chemical

617
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,880
cocktail.
This isn't just because it's

618
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,280
new.
It's actually the things that

619
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,120
are happening inside of your
body.

620
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,000
What your body is dropping the
dopamine, the serotonin, the

621
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:45,400
serotonin, all the good stuff
that is happening is literally

622
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:49,840
giving you that feeling.
So what we what we lose is that

623
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:51,840
then you're together for a
couple years because

624
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:55,040
realistically it literally only
lasts 2 years at best.

625
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:59,760
OK, the like unless you.
Unless you're my wife and I just

626
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:00,720
saying.
Yes.

627
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,160
Well, you're an example of what
I heard one time, and this is

628
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,160
for guys specifically.
I adopted this because I thought

629
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:11,040
it was great.
Be the guy that you were when

630
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,160
you were trying to get laid the
first time.

631
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:17,120
Keep being that guy throughout
your entire relationship, right?

632
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:18,600
Absolutely.
You'll have the best

633
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,000
relationship ever.
Remember what it was like when

634
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,280
you were on the hunt, so to
speak.

635
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,720
Right?
Yeah, keep being that guy.

636
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,520
That's how I look at Chris.
Chris is still that same guy

637
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,000
that I knew 30 years ago.
He's never changed.

638
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,360
Right now and in fact, in fact I
met why I met my wife on

639
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:38,800
December 6th and she blew me off
till till February 19th like and

640
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:42,600
I so I I I but I tasted a little
bit but her dad was in town and

641
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,520
then we end up getting married a
year to the day of our first

642
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:48,160
date so and and we've been
together ever since so.

643
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:49,880
How long have you guys been
married for?

644
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,560
Since 1996.
Oh, that's awesome.

645
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,400
That's incredible.
That's gold's right there.

646
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,880
It is so, but go back to what
you're talking about

647
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:00,720
relationship wise because I
think it's really important for

648
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,160
people to understand this.
This is what you teach is not

649
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:07,040
just sex and sexual, you know,
toys and adventures.

650
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,000
It's more to that.
It's more to you than that.

651
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:13,760
Yes, I was just, I was just
bringing together the fact of

652
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:17,040
like, you get that chemical
cocktail, it's new, you're

653
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,640
excited.
Oh, it's so fun.

654
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,800
And the amount of you still put
in the effort, right?

655
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:26,160
It's still there, but you're
literally how do I put this of

656
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,480
like the driving factor is
what's happening inside of you.

657
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:30,960
You're like, I can't get enough
of this person.

658
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:34,840
You were physiologically,
chemically addicted to the

659
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:36,320
feeling that this person gives
you.

660
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,880
That's, that's science, bro,
like science, yo.

661
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,520
Anyway.
And So what happens is then you

662
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,840
get a couple years and then
things start to wane down and

663
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,120
you, you either do one of two
things.

664
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,280
We're either gonna go our
separate ways cuz we're like,

665
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:54,320
we're just not in love anymore.
Like it just doesn't happen for

666
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,240
us because so you get those
people that are perpetually in

667
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,920
new relationships, right?
Because they're always chasing

668
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:02,240
that We're addicted to our,
we're addicted to those

669
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:03,560
chemicals.
We want it again and again and

670
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,120
again.
And then you get the other

671
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:10,480
people that figure out that by
doing these new things, right.

672
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,679
These.
New exciting things that that

673
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:17,480
keeps that drops that dopamine
into your body, that new and

674
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,880
exciting stuff.
So we either A, we chug along 20

675
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:22,920
years later, we're like, oh,
we've been miserable for the

676
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,360
last 15 years.
Like we're just staying together

677
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,199
for the kids and no shame in
that.

678
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:31,239
We just don't know what we don't
know or B, we become the couple

679
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:35,280
that says, you know what?
We have to create those

680
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,239
feelings.
We have to create that

681
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,760
excitement, whatever that is
like.

682
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:43,920
I love what Mike said about act
like how you first had to get

683
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:48,080
her, keep that excitement in it
and whether you need help from

684
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,639
this stuff back here, you need
date night ideas, you need, you

685
00:34:52,639 --> 00:34:56,920
know, conversation starters.
There's so many avenues that you

686
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,520
can go down.
But I just truly believe that on

687
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,240
the other side of that, like, oh
shit, we're bored.

688
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:04,440
Instead of giving up, there's
other options out.

689
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,840
There when you say all that
stuff is necessary, what you

690
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:10,440
just said the date night, the.
Stuff in the.

691
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:14,560
Background the you know 100% the
trying new things in the bedroom

692
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,280
that.
Otherwise, I think it.

693
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,440
Is, and I think Chris would
attest to this because he's

694
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,040
lived with the same person for,
you know, over 30 years.

695
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,560
My parents would attest to it.
They've been together for 50

696
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,560
years in April.
If you're going to spend the

697
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:31,880
same day every day, you know,
day in and day out with the same

698
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,000
person, you can't keep doing the
same thing.

699
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:40,720
No, so I have a saying monogamy
is great and and there's there's

700
00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:43,200
controversial things about
whether it's natural or not

701
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,160
natural.
I don't but the complicated.

702
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,680
For the human species, I don't
think it's natural at all.

703
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,120
Right.
So, but here's the here's the

704
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,240
fucked up part, Mike, is we're
so complicated that two of our

705
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:57,800
basic human needs are certainty
and uncertainty.

706
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,760
So we literally crave
controversial things.

707
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,440
So the certainty is that I have
this person.

708
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,240
We love each other.
We are obsessed with each other.

709
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,200
The uncertainty is what are we
going to do tonight?

710
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:12,360
That's you see what I'm saying?
That's where that comes in.

711
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,080
Like what kind of freaky shit
are we going to get into

712
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,920
tonight?
That's the spice, right?

713
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,920
That's that breaks the monotony
of I went to work, I came home,

714
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,480
I ate dinner, I did the dishes,
I went to bed, right?

715
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,840
Right, you can only do.
That routine so many times

716
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,400
before all the sudden you start
hating each other.

717
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,640
Yes, 100%.
Yep.

718
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,480
And that's where that's where I
like to come in.

719
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,360
One thing that we've talked
about on here, sorry man, I

720
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:38,480
didn't mean.
No, no, go ahead.

721
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:39,200
Go ahead.
Go ahead.

722
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,280
Go.
Ahead, one thing we've talked

723
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,400
about on here that I want to
know if you're familiar with

724
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,240
because we haven't, like Chris
said, we haven't had an actual

725
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:49,080
relationship sex expert on.
Here we have.

726
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,680
She's right.
Here it's Steph Conger.

727
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:55,280
Steph conker.com.
Until now, and this is awesome.

728
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,960
You're awesome.
So.

729
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,680
I've listened to a podcast and I
know it was on Rogan but I can't

730
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:06,240
remember who the doctor was but
he literally said that they did

731
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:11,080
a study and I think it was
25,000 women over 30 years.

732
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:18,320
That birth control has ruined
your ability as a woman to

733
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,240
detect who you're attracted to,
because a woman's greatest

734
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:26,280
defense mechanism is her ability
to smell her mate.

735
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,040
That's science.
I did not know that that's.

736
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,440
Crazy.
I hadn't.

737
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,600
I've never heard that before.
Look into that.

738
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,920
Super cool.
Yeah, no, I'm, I got a notepad.

739
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,920
I'm writing that down.
So what he was equating that to

740
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:44,840
stuff was the ever increasing
divorce rate because as soon as

741
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,720
the woman stops taking birth
control she's like I don't like

742
00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:49,560
this person at all and I don't
know why.

743
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,840
Well, and it goes, it goes back
to, to the divorce part of it,

744
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,680
what you talked about stuff you
get those, those two years,

745
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,080
maybe three years of that, you
know, dopamine, all those kind

746
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,120
of things.
And then they, and then that

747
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,920
starts going away because I
think Mike and I've talked about

748
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,520
before, I think the average
marriage now last 3 1/2 years.

749
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:11,200
And so that, so that, but that
goes within your time frame,

750
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:12,520
right?
You got those two years of wow,

751
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,440
you know this is amazing.
You tried.

752
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,200
Working out for a year.
Right, right, right.

753
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,400
But you probably true though.
And but you start, you start

754
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:25,040
cheating off of that and then
obviously the men are going to

755
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:26,960
be like, well, why don't you
want to have sex with me?

756
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:28,600
And the women are like, just
don't touch me because you're

757
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,000
gross.
So then you have that weird

758
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,760
little dynamic going on.
If you throw in the birth

759
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,480
control pills on top of it, then
you have all kinds of chaos

760
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,800
going on.
Right.

761
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,480
Which is ridiculous, you know.
Right.

762
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,640
Well, and as a whole, we're just
like, we're the most unhealthy

763
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,160
we've ever been.
That's a whole another

764
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,760
conversation for another day.
But like, don't think that

765
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,720
physical health doesn't play
into your sexual health because

766
00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:51,800
it does.
I can give you creams all day,

767
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:55,440
but I'm like, listen, bro,
you're eating and drinking

768
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,240
absolute garbage.
Like they found that aspartame

769
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,120
lowers your testosterone.
So we're just drinking

770
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,000
artificial sweeteners in our
sodas.

771
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,080
And then we're wondering why we
have we have men with low tests.

772
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:07,560
Like, let's look at our diet
too.

773
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,880
No, that's actually funny
because I just switched to

774
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,520
xylitol gum.
Oh, OK, that's good.

775
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:18,840
To get rid of the aspartame,
xylitol is a natural it.

776
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,040
Yeah.
It's a plant, I believe, and

777
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,040
they squeeze.
Yeah, it's a natural sweetener,

778
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,480
yeah.
Aspartame will mess you up bad.

779
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,280
Yeah.
So what is aspartame for people

780
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:30,800
that don't know because I don't
know what aspartame it's.

781
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:34,320
Got So if you're buying sugar
free gum, sugar free soda, most

782
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,040
of it's aspartame.
Yeah, I don't.

783
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,600
I don't.
I don't drink soda, you know

784
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,480
that.
And I buy sweetener what the I

785
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,760
don't.
I don't remember what the gum I

786
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,160
buy is but.
It's Steph just said it.

787
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:46,200
It's a chemical sweetener
because xylitol is a natural

788
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,840
sweetener and xylitol is good
for your teeth.

789
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:55,000
So if you chew it after meals,
it actually, you know, puts the

790
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:59,000
saliva back in your mouth.
It strengthens your enamel.

791
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,680
Nice.
Let me ask you, this is a paid

792
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:07,600
advertisement for tried.
I can't even remember the

793
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:08,920
company or I'd give them a shout
out.

794
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:13,080
I bought it off Amazon.
I got a lot of good friends who

795
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,280
give me this.
They know that I like that kind

796
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,560
of information.
So one day I was at work and it

797
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,960
just, I don't know, it came up
out of nowhere and I'm like,

798
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,040
well, I got Amazon so I'll order
it and try it.

799
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,280
And it was awesome.
It was good stuff.

800
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,320
Let me ask for you.
Yeah, go ahead, Mike.

801
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:29,960
So.
What would you say to these

802
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,560
women?
I've met more women who have

803
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:36,760
been ruined by men, right?
And they will never give another

804
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,720
man an opportunity because
they're afraid.

805
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:43,200
And I get it, I understand.
But I feel so sorry for him

806
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:46,800
because one thing that I had to
overcome in my life is not

807
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:51,640
living in my past, right?
I just made a conscious decision

808
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,120
one day.
I'm like, you know, I can't

809
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:54,600
change what happened 10 seconds
ago.

810
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,080
I can only change from now
forward.

811
00:40:57,720 --> 00:41:00,880
And that was the most powerful
thing that I ever did for my own

812
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,880
mind was to realize you need to
learn from the past, but you

813
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,360
can't live there, right?
So what do you say to those

814
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,920
women if they come in front of
you and say I want a man, I want

815
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,800
to be happy, but I'm just
afraid, right?

816
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:19,280
Yeah, I mean, you, you literally
just said exactly what you how

817
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,600
are you going to we can't drive
when we're looking in the

818
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:23,160
rearview mirror.
Like, how are we going to move

819
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:28,360
forward if we can't?
So I'm a really big advocate for

820
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,240
therapy.
Like, how do we move through

821
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:33,880
this, you know?
Yeah, you, you said it

822
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,840
perfectly, Mike, because I would
say the same thing.

823
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:37,640
You can't live in the past.
How are we going to get what we

824
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,400
want if we're we're looking
back.

825
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,880
So when it comes to that, what
kind of internal work do you

826
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:47,560
need to do on yourself to be
able to move past that?

827
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:53,680
Otherwise, I think that we're
gonna nerd out a little bit,

828
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:57,720
okay?
But I just, I believe in the

829
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,760
power of our thoughts, right?
So I think if you're out there

830
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:04,440
and you're thinking men are bad
and I just date assholes, well,

831
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,120
guess what?
That's what you're gonna keep

832
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,960
getting.
Yep, Sorry, sorry, not sorry.

833
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,200
So, so how do you get past that
so that you can start saying

834
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,800
there's good men out there and
I'm going to find one.

835
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,960
And how do we, how do we move
through that so you can have a

836
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,760
better outlook to bring that
into your life?

837
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,960
I think that our our thoughts
are incredibly powerful and they

838
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:25,800
they shape our perception on
reality.

839
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:30,200
And wouldn't you tell those same
women that you know?

840
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:34,320
Don't take it as this is the
rest of your life.

841
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,200
It's one date, right?
It's one night of your 100%.

842
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,880
You're never gonna know if you
don't take that leap for four

843
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:45,280
hours in an evening, right?
Yeah, keep your keep your walls

844
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:50,240
down and your boundaries high.
Keep your walls down, stay open,

845
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,920
right?
But have your set boundaries set

846
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,520
up beforehand.
If you're a little weary on

847
00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:00,360
dating, go into it with an open
heart because what are you even

848
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,480
doing if you're not going to?
But then set your boundaries of

849
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,680
like, even if he is super cute,
like I'm not going to have sex

850
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,960
with him on the first date
because guess what that's going

851
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,960
to that's going to give me an
emotional attachment and I'm not

852
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,640
ready for that.
That's what I would say to him,

853
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,400
yeah.
Nice, I like that.

854
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,360
So you, you, you, you mentioned
earlier we were talking about

855
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:22,200
relationship stuff, date nights,
things like that.

856
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:25,840
So why we have you on the show?
Let's talk about what's your 5

857
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:27,480
like?
Like my wife and IA few years

858
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,600
ago we did what we call those
51st dates.

859
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,120
So we did once a week.
We went on a date every week to

860
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,400
some place that we had never
gone before together.

861
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:37,880
That's cute.
Right.

862
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,520
So, so that's, that's a lot
harder than it sounds because

863
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:45,280
we've been together at the time.
At the time it was probably 2026

864
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,840
years together.
So but it was kind of cool

865
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,000
because we would just, we would
figure out things we never did

866
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,000
together before and that'd be.
So it was 51st date #1 all the

867
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:53,800
way to 50, right?
I'm.

868
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:55,000
Writing that.
Down.

869
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:56,040
I hope you don't.
Know.

870
00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:01,040
No, not at all So but I want to
get from you like like give give

871
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,920
our viewers and listeners like
here's the here's the top five.

872
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,560
You know, things that would
suggest for, you know, a date

873
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,560
night, you know, if you because
part of why I wanted you on here

874
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,640
before you asked the question,
part of why I wanted you on here

875
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,520
is because we like we like to
showcase the person we have on

876
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:15,920
the show.
We like to put them out in the

877
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:20,120
world, but we also want to give
Nuggets of value to share with

878
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:24,080
folks, because the more Nuggets
of value we can, we can share,

879
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:25,840
then the more followers you're
going to get, the more people

880
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:27,160
are going to go subscribe to
your stuff.

881
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,880
So if you, if you had a, a
couple who was just struggling

882
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:34,400
like they were just, you know,
what would be the five date

883
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,280
nights you would suggest for
them to do just to kind of start

884
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:40,960
rebuilding that rapport and that
dynamic that they had right.

885
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,400
And then it filtered away.
Or need.

886
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:49,560
Yeah.
So I always tell people that

887
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:54,000
it's, you know, it's not
realistic to be like, get this

888
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,800
set and just start going at it.
Like let's start small.

889
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:02,200
Let's start with, I'm referring
back to what Mike said.

890
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:06,040
What did we do at the beginning?
So we're going to start our date

891
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,440
night.
And I don't care what activity

892
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,200
you choose to do because what's
more important is is your

893
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:17,000
connection on that date night.
OK, so non sexual acts of touch

894
00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:22,440
are huge because if you've been,
yeah, yeah, if you've been

895
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,840
disconnected.
Exactly, exactly.

896
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,080
A kiss on the forehead, holding
hands.

897
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:32,600
What what small things are going
to start getting that spark?

898
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:36,680
Because what we end up doing if
we just try to like fake it and

899
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:40,920
we're just going to force it is
we just end up disconnected even

900
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,360
further because she's going to
go out of her body.

901
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,880
So this is where the couple's
going to have to start small

902
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,480
with those non sexual acts of
touch, right?

903
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:53,080
And, and, and just to I'm sorry,
I don't have like specific

904
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:56,080
things.
I think that I think that like a

905
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,400
because I don't know if it
really matters what you do.

906
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,400
I think it like I think it
matters what you do on the date,

907
00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:07,160
right is first of all, set like
a date night out like me and my

908
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:10,360
husband.
Wednesdays, Wednesdays are our

909
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,440
day.
We do whatever we end up doing.

910
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:18,480
Is that because it's hump day?
Maybe, maybe you caught me.

911
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:20,320
Don't tell the whole world my
secret.

912
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,320
You know, you know, I had to go
there.

913
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:25,520
Let's see.
Yeah, of course it's.

914
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:27,280
Because it's cool.
It's cool having you on the

915
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:28,560
show.
Because it's like I don't have

916
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,800
to have a filter, you know?
Never.

917
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,760
No, he.
Acts like he has a filter any

918
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:34,840
other time.
Really.

919
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:35,600
Oh, no.
Let your.

920
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,760
Hey, listen, Chris, let your
free flag fly, OK?

921
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,760
Let your free flag fly.
Way more than I do, trust me.

922
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,600
And I'm probably a bigger freak
than he.

923
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:48,040
Is I just don't talk about.
I don't know.

924
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,920
Listen, Mike, he's been ordering
with me for a while now, so.

925
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:56,320
I know this guy, trust me, I
shared the stage with him a lot.

926
00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:00,560
I like what because I like what
you said about going back to the

927
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:02,960
beginning.
I think that's super important.

928
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,440
Like you said, for people who
have been together, especially,

929
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:09,240
you know, going on a decade or
five years or more even, you get

930
00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:11,800
in that routine, it's super
important.

931
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:14,440
That's it.
It's super important to remember

932
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,480
how special it was the first
time she touched your hand as a

933
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:22,560
guy, you know, or the first time
that she let you hug her or you

934
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:26,720
know to be that close to.
Here's another scientific fact.

935
00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:29,600
I'm a nerd when it comes to I
love human nature, right?

936
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:33,240
Me too.
There's only one thing other

937
00:47:33,240 --> 00:47:36,680
than food and water that we have
to have to survive, and that's

938
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,960
human contact.
That's why solitary confinement

939
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,040
is the worst thing you can do to
a prisoner.

940
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:46,280
We have to have human contact.
You can't live without it.

941
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,480
You'll die eventually.
Yep, Yep.

942
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:50,680
So I like that.
Going back to the beginning,

943
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,480
people need to remember what
that feeling was like when you

944
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,080
got goosebumps, you know?
Yeah, I like to subtle.

945
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,320
I like to settle like Nikki and
I always hold hands like it's

946
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,600
it's second nature.
If if we're walking in from

947
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,680
somewhere and I don't have her
hand, even though it's just kind

948
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,320
of a pinky hold.
But if I don't have I look down

949
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:07,280
like what the fuck?
Oh, sorry.

950
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:09,880
You know, I always but she'll do
the same thing to me because

951
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:15,080
it's just, but it's it it to me.
That's the dating thing, right?

952
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:18,640
It's like it's because, because
this is my we all come, right?

953
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:22,480
So Mike and I are in our 50s.
What are you?

954
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:24,720
And there's a reason I'm asking
this.

955
00:48:24,720 --> 00:48:26,760
Well.
A gentleman never asked and.

956
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:28,920
I know she.
Gave you the math at the

957
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:32,640
beginning of the podcast.
She was 19 and 18 years later.

958
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,720
She's 3038.
OK, OK, so you may so this may

959
00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:37,960
not this may not apply to you,
which is why I wanted to know

960
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,120
that I'm.
Just so.

961
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:41,600
Like, no, you're good.
But like when I met Nikki,

962
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:42,440
right?
I was done.

963
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,560
I was like, I was, we were in
the band.

964
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:46,680
I was focused on the music.
I just shaved my head.

965
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,200
Women thought I was thought I
was a Skinhead.

966
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,240
So all women to me were shallow.
I'm like, fuck this.

967
00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:53,400
I'm not going to do this
anymore.

968
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:58,040
And then I met her and I'm like,
oh, wow, she's not, she's dicked

969
00:48:58,040 --> 00:48:59,000
me.
She's not shallow.

970
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:00,440
Like what?
What's up with this?

971
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:05,120
So by the time we got to her
first date, it was that it was

972
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,440
that thing to where you had to
actually go in front of somebody

973
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,800
and ask them out, right?
Because we didn't have the

974
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,040
social media, we didn't have the
Facebook and the text you could

975
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:17,680
hide behind.
So, so I would call her, you

976
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:20,600
know, and continue to pursue her
during that from February, from

977
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:25,400
December 6th to February 19th.
But that, that doesn't happen

978
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:27,840
now, right, Because people can
just use social media and, and

979
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:29,480
the text and the apps and all
that kind of shit.

980
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,840
So they don't, you don't get
that interaction anymore.

981
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,880
So I don't, I don't know how
much that's affected the dating

982
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,200
roles in life because the
dopamine spikes and things like

983
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:38,480
that.
Because right when I first met

984
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,200
her, I walked into this house
where she was at.

985
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,240
She was sitting on this chair.
She had her leg propped up and

986
00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:46,360
I'm, it was just like, like this
chick's hot.

987
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,120
Like I automatically.
That feeling.

988
00:49:48,720 --> 00:49:51,440
Yeah, I mean, it was automatic.
It was lightning bolt boom and

989
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:53,120
the shit you not.
We talked about getting married

990
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:56,440
on our first date and literally
we were married a year to the

991
00:49:56,440 --> 00:50:00,480
day.
But I don't think if if I was in

992
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,360
this generation now, I don't
think I would have had that that

993
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:06,760
interaction because everybody
hides behind shit and there

994
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:09,880
there's no balls going up.
Mike and I have talked about it

995
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,800
like, you know, you get the
sweaty palms and shit, you just,

996
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,920
you don't get that with the,
with the social apps and the and

997
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,080
all the things, the dating apps
and stuff, because you're not,

998
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,880
you're not, I mean, even this
isn't real per SE.

999
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,680
We can kind of get a, a feel for
our reactions and stuff.

1000
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,160
You know, we can tell you're not
the fuck that You know what

1001
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:27,040
you're talking about and you
know.

1002
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:29,520
What do you love different?
If we were sitting around, it

1003
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:30,880
would be together.
Look at each.

1004
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,320
Other the energy.
The energy, yeah.

1005
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:35,480
Yeah, because she'd be pulling
out toys and, you know, this is

1006
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:36,960
what you do.
This is how it works.

1007
00:50:37,240 --> 00:50:40,400
That's 100% why Rogan won't do
remote interviews.

1008
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:42,640
So that.
Tells you how much different it

1009
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:44,840
is.
Yeah, we'd be have Mike in the

1010
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,320
door swing already.
Like what?

1011
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:48,880
We'd just be like Mike, get it
on there, get in there for the

1012
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,760
listeners.
You guys are lucky this is

1013
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,200
remote because it would be
weird.

1014
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:57,720
You found the right two guys,
trust me.

1015
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:01,440
Yeah, OK.
So, so we, we, we need to get

1016
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,200
back to those that are
struggling, that are watching

1017
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:05,280
this or listening.
You need to get back to the, to

1018
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,720
the intimate, the intimate
touches and the caresses and the

1019
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,640
kind of I called, I called any
window flirting where you're,

1020
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:14,200
where you're, you're, you're not
like you, you know, you run

1021
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,840
your, you know, right, you're
at, you're at dinner or

1022
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,000
something.
You just kind of reach out and

1023
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,040
run your hand on the leg, you
know, and then you and you get,

1024
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,800
I get a reaction internally.
I'm sure she gets a reaction

1025
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,720
internally because then it's
just kind of, you know, and

1026
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,040
after 3131 years and you can
still touch.

1027
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:33,440
I can she and I can still touch
each other and have that, you

1028
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:35,880
know, she'll, she'll walk in the
door some days and I'm like,

1029
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,880
damn, you look good today.
You know, it's just, and that's

1030
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:40,080
the thing.
We do a little sticky notes.

1031
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:43,080
Here's another little thing for
that, for you can maybe like

1032
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,040
this idea of stuff and maybe
maybe never heard of it.

1033
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:47,600
Sticky notes.
We write sticky notes to each

1034
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:48,840
other.
Like you open my refrigerator

1035
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,480
door, you're going to see like
10 sticky notes I've written to

1036
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:55,120
Nikki over the years, right?
She'll she'll put she'll put

1037
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,400
sticky notes by my mirror.
Oh, you, you look cute in your

1038
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:58,840
glasses.
I hate wearing glasses.

1039
00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:01,840
Oh, you have a cute butt.
You know what I mean?

1040
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,600
So just weird little things like
that.

1041
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,360
We'll put sticky notes random
places that you know throughout

1042
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:10,920
the week, but it it
automatically lifts your spirit

1043
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,480
when you get up.
And like we have this funny look

1044
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:16,040
like she put on the coffee maker
one day.

1045
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,560
Good to the last drop.
So I took it and put it on

1046
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:25,600
something else in our bedroom.
But but that's the thing.

1047
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,160
So that that that's a little
dopamine spike, right?

1048
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,560
You you get those little, little
love notes.

1049
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,880
So I think if you're struggling
relationship wise, kind of take

1050
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:36,520
Steph's advice, get back to the
the simple touching and things

1051
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,920
like that.
But then do the little sticky

1052
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:43,800
notes and and don't overkill it.
Just casually do it like I'll,

1053
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:47,400
I'll put a sticky note that, you
know, obviously I love you,

1054
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:49,040
things like that.
But then you'll do stuff like,

1055
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:50,800
oh, you, you know, you taste
fantastic.

1056
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,640
Now that can be opened up to
whole different conversations,

1057
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:57,320
right?
But it's true you, the intimacy

1058
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,920
is you can build an intimate
evening by laying these little

1059
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:02,880
foundations, right?
So if you have a date and a

1060
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,440
Friday start, start laying the
found work Monday, Tuesday,

1061
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:06,480
Wednesday, Thursday for the
date.

1062
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,520
Night.
And then, and then it's going to

1063
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:13,320
just, I don't know, elevate that
first date night.

1064
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:15,720
Yeah.
And then you're going to have a

1065
00:53:15,720 --> 00:53:18,080
positive experience.
And then you're going to want to

1066
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:19,640
do it again.
And then you want to do it

1067
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,160
again, and you're going to want
to do it again.

1068
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:23,400
Right.
Especially if you have kids.

1069
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,600
Oh God, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1070
00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:29,720
No, I was just going to say that
I think we should take it one

1071
00:53:29,720 --> 00:53:34,320
step back with this because if I
know anything about

1072
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:37,200
relationships, and I think I do
because I have people in my

1073
00:53:37,240 --> 00:53:42,960
inbox, if the disconnect is so
great, if the disconnect is

1074
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:46,080
where a lot of people are when
they get desperate, which is

1075
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:49,440
like we are clear on the other
ends of we are so disconnected,

1076
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:53,800
it's going to feel really phony
to do that kind of stuff at the

1077
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:57,240
beginning.
So I think that to take it one

1078
00:53:57,240 --> 00:54:04,280
step back, I think that we need
to to have a good relationship,

1079
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,560
especially coming out of the
darkness, we need a radical

1080
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,360
amount, a radical, radical
forgiveness.

1081
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:16,960
You need to forgive and be
willing to move on from whatever

1082
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:19,880
it was.
So I think before we even start

1083
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,080
with the sticky notes and stuff,
because yeah, that's going to

1084
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,600
spark the fire.
But if we if we don't move on

1085
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:27,680
from that resentment, it's in
the background and you're like,

1086
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:31,960
Oh yeah, like especially big,
big, big forgiveness stuff like

1087
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,680
cheating and stuff.
So then what is your first step

1088
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,280
after that?
We sit down.

1089
00:54:36,720 --> 00:54:38,280
You know, we've gotten to this
point.

1090
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:40,000
I say, Steph, we're not going to
make it.

1091
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,600
We sit down, we hash it out.
We say we're going to make it.

1092
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,760
What's your first step after
we've done the forgiveness part?

1093
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:49,880
Because I agree with you and I
agree with Chris too.

1094
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:53,960
It it depends on where you're at
in your relationship when you

1095
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,960
start that kind of stuff.
So what's the first step after

1096
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,720
the forgiveness?
After the forgiveness, then

1097
00:54:59,720 --> 00:55:02,800
let's like if you know, if you
don't plan, then you plan to

1098
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,760
fail, right?
If you fail to plan, you plan to

1099
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,520
fail.
So I'm it sounds, and we're so

1100
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,440
funny.
We're so funny because we're,

1101
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:12,800
you know, we work in these
companies where where we have

1102
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,560
notes and we take notes and we
make schedules and stuff.

1103
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:18,120
But then we think when it comes
to our intimate life that we

1104
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:19,920
don't have to, we don't have to
set out a plan.

1105
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,520
We're just going to wing it.
Well, winging it is what got you

1106
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:27,120
in that shitty situation in the
1st place, so it has to be what

1107
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,680
it is.
And I've made videos about this

1108
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:34,240
where I'm like, set a date night
out, take the TV out of your

1109
00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:37,480
goddamn room because.
The is killing your.

1110
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,040
Intimacy.
And right there, there's a

1111
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:41,800
reason I have one TV in my
house.

1112
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,080
Unless you're watching porn.
I but see.

1113
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:46,200
I don't right but see.
On your phone.

1114
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:47,880
You can do it on your phone,
Mike, don't worry.

1115
00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:51,040
Don't take my TV away.
But legit we have.

1116
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,760
We've never had ATV in our
bedroom our entire time together

1117
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:56,040
because to me, the bedrooms,
it's for two things.

1118
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:57,880
It's for sleeping and sex,
period.

1119
00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:58,480
Nothing.
Else.

1120
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:01,240
So those of you that have three
more, yeah.

1121
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:02,760
Yeah.
So we're hammering that point

1122
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,720
hard.
Get the TV out of your fucking

1123
00:56:04,720 --> 00:56:07,040
bedroom.
No, get it out by myself.

1124
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:10,080
OK, that's different.
You're fine, Mike, but when you

1125
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,000
get wiped up, then it's got to
go.

1126
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:13,880
OK, Yeah.
When you maybe if you're a

1127
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,360
couple, yeah, when you're a
couple, the only time we put ATV

1128
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:21,000
in the bedroom was and I had
neck surgery one a year.

1129
00:56:21,040 --> 00:56:22,560
And so we put it in there
because I couldn't leave the

1130
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:24,560
bed.
And then I think COVID coupled

1131
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:26,240
COVID stints.
But other than that, there's

1132
00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:28,760
never been ATV in the bedroom
because it just doesn't.

1133
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,960
It doesn't work.
Yeah, if you, if you have it in

1134
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:35,480
there, then turn it off.
Like, you know, if you, if you

1135
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:39,440
have to have ATV in there, we
have ATV mounted like ATV mount.

1136
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,440
And then we're like, oh crap.
But we also have a little guy,

1137
00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:47,280
but that TV never turns on.
So it's sad when I hear about

1138
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:50,160
people that are like, oh, you
have time to watch.

1139
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:53,040
I just saw something and, and,
or I heard something.

1140
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:55,960
It was like, oh, you have time
to watch Project Runway, but

1141
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:59,920
like we can't, you know, like
have 20 minutes of just and I'm

1142
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:04,560
like, the TV kills us.
Instead of right, instead of

1143
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:10,040
binge watching, binge F.
Yeah.

1144
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:11,520
Or binge.
Talk.

1145
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:13,680
Yeah, right.
There's something is there?

1146
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:14,920
Yeah.
Because Nikki and I won't turn

1147
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:16,440
on TV till like seven, 8:00 at
night.

1148
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,880
She'll come home at 5:00 and and
whatever I'm doing, I'll wrap it

1149
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:21,760
up.
And then we just go sit on the

1150
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:24,000
couch and just, you know,
randomly conversate.

1151
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:25,400
Talk.
She'll scroll through her

1152
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,200
things, you know what I mean?
But there's something always

1153
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:30,600
going on.
You just brought up something

1154
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:33,560
that I wanted to also hit home
on when you're making that plan

1155
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:36,120
for your relationship, because
we're grown and we're gonna do

1156
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,080
that right?
Especially when you wanna save

1157
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:39,720
your marriage or your
relationship.

1158
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:45,080
Let's also get in there and
figure out exactly what time our

1159
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:48,680
partner is most active sexually,
right?

1160
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:53,040
And let's get on the same page
because my job and the way that

1161
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:56,200
my brain works and I'm a 5:00 AM
gal, guess what?

1162
00:57:56,200 --> 00:58:00,040
When it gets to 8:00 at night, I
do not want to have, you know, I

1163
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:01,160
do not want to have sex with
you.

1164
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:02,880
I'm so sorry.
A girl like that.

1165
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:05,320
Yeah, hit me in the morning.
It's going.

1166
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,560
To get the right person.
And she was the morning person.

1167
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,800
So we had to find a compromise,
you know?

1168
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:12,480
Percent.
Yeah, and maybe on the weekends,

1169
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:15,960
babe, we might do it at night.
You know, like figure out what?

1170
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,240
That.
Yep, figure out what that looks

1171
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:19,760
like.
But if you want it every day,

1172
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:23,800
let's shower together after the
gym and, and, and have that

1173
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,920
conversation where it's just so
funny.

1174
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,520
Again, going way back to what we
were first talking about.

1175
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,680
We didn't learn this stuff.
So when it's time to have these

1176
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:35,840
conversations, we come, we
become completely shut down with

1177
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:38,880
the one person that we should be
having this conversation.

1178
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,880
That's a great point because at
that age I did not handle it

1179
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:43,680
well.
Right now I would be like, OK,

1180
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:45,240
let's come.
You know, we've made the

1181
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:48,320
compromise about the weekend
thing, but during the week it

1182
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,360
was always still a struggle.
It's like, what do you mean that

1183
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,920
you're dead tired of 3:00 at
night?

1184
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:56,240
Well, I was never putting into
perspective that that person got

1185
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:57,920
up at 4:00 in the morning,
right?

1186
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:01,920
Exactly.
So and just that rhythm of what

1187
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:05,520
was going on, even chemically in
her body was like, so.

1188
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:08,760
So what happens with that, Mike,
is that if you then decide if

1189
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,160
she's like, well, I'm just going
to do it anyways, right?

1190
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:12,720
Like because it'll make him
happy.

1191
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,240
So she's completely
disconnected, right?

1192
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:17,960
She's not even into it, going
through the motions.

1193
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:19,600
Then you get in your head about
it.

1194
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:21,600
Yeah.
And then you get in your head

1195
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:22,960
about it.
And here we are.

1196
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:26,400
The relationship just chips away
step by step because we didn't

1197
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,320
just have a simple conversation
that said, hey, if you come home

1198
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,560
for lunch, let's make it happen
at that time because I'm ready

1199
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:35,160
to go, you know?
Right and and see then there's

1200
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:40,400
another little thing like like
if if you're in a healthy spot,

1201
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:43,080
right, if you've gone through
the the drags right now you're

1202
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:46,640
back.
Turn around healthy sexed text

1203
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:48,240
your spouse with your.
Partner.

1204
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:51,760
Oh, that's a good idea.
Like like legit like there's

1205
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:57,400
things that I'll do during the
day to, you know, when walk in

1206
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:58,840
the door, it's like it's go
time.

1207
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:02,600
But that goes back to the fact
that she and I have just a super

1208
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:04,240
healthy relationship on all
levels.

1209
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:08,880
And and it's a good thing my
kids don't watch this because

1210
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:10,080
every I'm that guy every now and
then.

1211
01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:11,560
What do you do with my son?
Like, what are you doing?

1212
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,040
Dad?
Get ready to do your mom, son,

1213
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:17,120
dad, dad, go stop.
How do you think you got here?

1214
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:21,640
But it but at the same time, but
at the same time, my, my

1215
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:25,880
children grew up watching aside
from my my drunk years, but my

1216
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:29,400
drunk years.
My, my daughter was like 7 when

1217
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:30,840
I stopped.
My son was 2.

1218
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:32,960
So my daughter saw more of it
than my son did.

1219
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:36,160
But other than that, they saw
just a very healthy loving

1220
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:38,240
relationship.
Like we, we hug each other all

1221
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:39,680
the time.
We kiss each other all the time.

1222
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:44,880
We hold hands all the time.
We, it's not taboo and I think

1223
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:46,600
it's because we came from such
taboo.

1224
01:00:46,600 --> 01:00:50,440
Like my mother was pissed when a
girl would call me when I, when

1225
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,800
I was a kid, like just just
pissed off.

1226
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:57,040
So like, OK, so I'm not allowed
to have girls like me, you know

1227
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:58,520
what I mean?
Because and it was her

1228
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:01,240
insecurities and her fear
because we won't go down that

1229
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:03,840
path, but my, my, you know,
we're not going to go down that

1230
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:07,280
path.
But it's the stigma she created

1231
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:10,120
for that was mind boggling to me
as I look back on it later in

1232
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,360
life.
Like, like I want girls to call

1233
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:13,920
my son.
I want boys to call my daughter.

1234
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,760
I set those boundaries and shit,
obviously.

1235
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:19,320
But this part of life, it's the
experiences you need.

1236
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:24,200
So, you know, I don't know where
I was going.

1237
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:25,280
I lost my train of thought,
Squirrel.

1238
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:26,480
Yeah, it's OK.
Yeah.

1239
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:29,280
Yeah.
Well.

1240
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:34,720
I agree with what you're saying
in that one of the most, one of

1241
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:39,480
the best quotes that I've read
recently is we never should have

1242
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:43,400
raised an entire generation of
people and we can add sex in

1243
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:46,280
there that we were always taught
as kids.

1244
01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:48,440
Don't talk about politics and
religion, right?

1245
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,120
Yeah, Yeah.
Also sex.

1246
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,080
So what did we end up with?
We ended up with a whole

1247
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:56,880
generation of people who can't
talk about religion, politics or

1248
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:59,640
sex.
And and like Steph said earlier,

1249
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:01,920
one of the precursors she
believes, and I I tend to agree

1250
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:05,520
with that is the sexual crimes.
I agree because and I.

1251
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:08,360
Never thought of that.
Said that you never thought of

1252
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:09,960
that.
Yeah, yeah.

1253
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:12,480
Well, anything.
It's like the war on drugs.

1254
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:15,280
Look how well that went.
Like, what are we doing?

1255
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,840
You know what it was like?
That failure, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1256
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:23,000
We're just so Well, you can.
Create a parallel with sex

1257
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:25,680
there, right?
You can create the same parallel

1258
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:28,960
in that we have a whole
generation of people who kind of

1259
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:31,200
half understand what sex is
supposed to be about.

1260
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:35,160
Right, right.
Or or, or or even normalizing

1261
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:38,920
the experience of what it is to
be a human and have sexual

1262
01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:40,600
desires.
So then they just think that

1263
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,800
they're I'm an anomaly.
Oh, it's weird that I want to do

1264
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:45,600
that.
And like, we don't have space

1265
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:47,480
for that anymore.
Like why aren't we just?

1266
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:51,400
This is what it is.
It's a it's a human, human

1267
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,960
desire that we all have that
everybody acts like they don't.

1268
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:58,280
Right.
Which is so weird.

1269
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:03,320
Everybody wants to have sex.
Everybody thinks about it, but

1270
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:06,800
everybody acts like they don't.
That's just so I've always

1271
01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:07,800
thought.
That was just odd.

1272
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,240
It's wild.
It's wild.

1273
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:12,400
It's just time to come.
It's time to move out that old.

1274
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:13,920
We're moving that out.
You know what I mean?

1275
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:17,840
Like the new energy is going to
be, I always say this,

1276
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:21,520
everything is normal, everything
is OK as long as we're

1277
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,040
consenting and it's legal.
You know what I'm saying?

1278
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:26,840
Like I do not.
If you want, if you like your

1279
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,360
toes licked, fucking do that
find.

1280
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:30,760
Somebody that wants to lick
toes.

1281
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:32,560
Absolutely.
You know what I mean?

1282
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:36,720
Like if you have some weird
fetish, if your partner is of

1283
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:40,560
age and consenting, go for it
right?

1284
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:43,520
I don't understand it, but if
you want to dress up like a cat

1285
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:45,800
and hang out with the furries,
go do that.

1286
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:47,920
Exactly.
People happy, they're not

1287
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:49,120
hurting anybody.
Nope.

1288
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:50,880
Yep, as long as we're
consenting.

1289
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:55,640
And realistically, I think that
a lot of those really outlying

1290
01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:04,080
kinks, I think a lot of those
are an over spill of sometimes I

1291
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:07,200
struggle with words since I had
that damn stroke, but they're an

1292
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:10,600
over spill of like that shame,
right?

1293
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:14,360
Like I've been holding this in
and now I'm going to go like

1294
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:16,880
that kid that that was super
religious and then all of a

1295
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:18,680
sudden they're like, fuck all
this and they went and got

1296
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,600
tatted up and everything.
I think some of those are that

1297
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:24,680
over expression of something
that could have just been in a

1298
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:27,120
a. 100 and like.
Are you guys picking up what I'm

1299
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,280
putting down here?
That totally makes sense.

1300
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,480
Yeah.
OK, Yeah, Yeah, it's zero to 0.

1301
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:35,080
No, but it's it's zero to 60
because again it's like you

1302
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:39,040
said, you're some households
it's very it's a very heavily

1303
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:41,840
repressed religion environment.
Yeah, you're.

1304
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:44,760
Going to find those people who
have got kinks and fetishes,

1305
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:48,200
they a lot of them did grow up
in that do not do this.

1306
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:50,480
We don't talk about this.
That is gross.

1307
01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:54,560
Whatever.
Yeah, and then they discovered

1308
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:56,520
free will.
Yep.

1309
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:58,720
And then that has an impact on
them when they're adults because

1310
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:00,280
they were, they it's been
ingrained in their head.

1311
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,120
I I can't do this.
I can't talk about that.

1312
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:05,240
I can't, you know, and I think
that totally shapes their adult

1313
01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:07,520
personality, which not
necessarily for a good thing

1314
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:10,920
because again, as we've learned
with Steph Conger here, the

1315
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,480
relationship with sexual health
therapist or not therapist

1316
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:17,280
coach, right?
I'll get that one day.

1317
01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:19,320
Don't.
Worry, yeah, it's but it's

1318
01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:22,960
all-encompassing, right?
Your, your, your relationship

1319
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:24,920
with your partner, whether
you're married or not.

1320
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:30,200
Communication is key, number
one, but then being open, open

1321
01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:33,200
to all the things that you and
your partner can accomplish,

1322
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:34,640
whether it's in the bedroom or
out of the bedroom.

1323
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:36,760
I mean, that just makes for a
stronger, healthier relationship

1324
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:41,600
in my eyes, you know, And then
we know from this right here on

1325
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:43,400
the screen share the Steph
Conger is an Internet

1326
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:47,880
personality because I just typed
your name in and your Internet

1327
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:50,280
personality.
Well.

1328
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:54,480
She just proved one of my points
when and we weren't following

1329
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:55,240
her.
We are now.

1330
01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:57,680
I I've always, well, yeah, OK,
yeah.

1331
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:00,480
You were personally, I, I just
followed you through the page

1332
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:02,160
and you just proved one of my
points.

1333
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:05,960
I've always said if you're a
woman and you're cute and you're

1334
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:08,400
talking about sex, you're going
to have a lot of followers

1335
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:09,880
whether you want it or not.
So.

1336
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:12,040
Yeah, now you must be.
Really.

1337
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:14,600
Good at what you do and you're
easy to look at.

1338
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:18,840
And that that lends itself well
to the Internet, for sure.

1339
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:19,720
Yeah.
Yeah.

1340
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:22,320
Do you have do you have a
YouTube channel?

1341
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:27,720
So I, I have AI.
Yes, I do.

1342
01:06:27,720 --> 01:06:28,680
I do Yep.
OK.

1343
01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:33,800
I auto post to every platform so
that I can hit on there and

1344
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:36,920
eventually we will.
I just, there's not enough time

1345
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:38,760
in the day to do all the things
that I want to do, you know what

1346
01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:39,960
I'm saying?
Like, I'm going to take over the

1347
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:43,520
world and like, yeah.
Yeah, our goal is world

1348
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:45,840
domination, but I run out of
hours every day.

1349
01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:48,400
That's what I'm saying.
I I know.

1350
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:51,120
Yeah, and I'm just and I'm just
scrolling while you guys are

1351
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:53,760
talking with this kind of shows
our listeners and our viewers.

1352
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:56,480
I can't show our listeners,
shows our viewers.

1353
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:01,680
This is never ending content for
different things like if you

1354
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:04,600
want to explore the back door,
she has things for enhanced

1355
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:05,560
pleasure.
OK.

1356
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,400
How long have you?
Been at this stuff. 19 years,

1357
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,680
right?
18 years.

1358
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:11,520
Yeah.
October.

1359
01:07:11,760 --> 01:07:14,680
Was 18 online You said just
since. 2022.

1360
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:20,120
So, so Yep, 2020, Yep.
So 2020 is when I started doing

1361
01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:25,400
more things online, but just in
the Facebook realm, 2022-2023 is

1362
01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:28,640
when we started really getting
going hard on Instagram,

1363
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:31,640
Facebook and and TikTok.
Wow.

1364
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:34,040
Yeah.
So not super long.

1365
01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:36,520
We built up a pretty impressive
following.

1366
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:40,200
Just a couple years.
And here's a cool thing too,

1367
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:42,200
like we just talked about, we
talked about this earlier

1368
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:46,080
revolutionize revolutionized
date nights with Tisa set.

1369
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:49,920
So these things that Steph
shares and talks about on a

1370
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:53,760
daily basis, as she talked about
before they, they try all the

1371
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:57,000
stuff that, that she, her and
her husband or partner, whatever

1372
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,880
we call them, they try all this
stuff before she puts it on her

1373
01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:02,400
site, correct?
Yes, yes.

1374
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:04,800
So, so you're not getting
somebody who's right.

1375
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:06,560
So you're not getting somebody
who's just like, oh, I'm going

1376
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:09,680
to sell this.
She's been there, been there,

1377
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,640
done that, which I think is
cool.

1378
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:17,000
And again, explore the best
couples products within real

1379
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:18,600
controls.
Oh, that could be fun.

1380
01:08:19,960 --> 01:08:23,240
They're so fun remote.
I mean, just just yeah, so all

1381
01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:25,640
of these just Google her name,
Steph Conga, as you can see

1382
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:29,080
right here.
And you're going to find so many

1383
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:34,399
things from from sexual health
to relationship goals to the

1384
01:08:34,399 --> 01:08:36,920
toys and the fun and the behind
the doors and things like that.

1385
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,319
Yeah.
But yeah.

1386
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:42,120
But if you haven't, and if
you're if you're shy and taboo,

1387
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:49,439
well, Google it, man.
Just it's, you know, it's, yeah.

1388
01:08:49,439 --> 01:08:51,880
Yeah, don't be shy.
It's one of those things that

1389
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:56,359
for an hour we've been talking
about everyone does it, everyone

1390
01:08:56,359 --> 01:08:58,840
wants to do it.
You just got to.

1391
01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:01,920
We got to change the mindset
that it's OK to have these

1392
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:04,439
conversations.
One of the reasons that I wanted

1393
01:09:04,439 --> 01:09:07,960
to do this podcast is I have
very few people in my life that

1394
01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:10,000
I can have real conversations
with, right?

1395
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:13,600
Because for one reason or
another, you're going to hit an

1396
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,359
issue that's going to offend
them, it's going to make them

1397
01:09:16,359 --> 01:09:18,600
nervous, it's going to make them
angry.

1398
01:09:19,439 --> 01:09:23,840
So I tend to spend a lot of time
by myself just because I want to

1399
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:26,680
have these conversations, but
other people aren't ready for

1400
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:29,439
them, right?
So this is a pleasure for me to

1401
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:33,240
be able to sit down with people
who are open minded, like

1402
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:36,359
minded.
I learned, you know, just, I

1403
01:09:36,359 --> 01:09:38,279
didn't know half the stuff you
just said today.

1404
01:09:38,279 --> 01:09:42,960
So in the last 150 episodes,
I've learned just such an

1405
01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:46,600
incredible amount of information
I didn't have before that now I

1406
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,120
apply to my life and I hope
other people are listening and

1407
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:52,439
do the same thing.
Opening your mind is the best

1408
01:09:52,439 --> 01:09:56,600
thing you can do is just don't
be so married to your ideas and

1409
01:09:56,600 --> 01:10:01,720
be rigid about your ideologies.
It's like sex is one of those

1410
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:02,640
things.
It's beautiful.

1411
01:10:02,640 --> 01:10:04,840
It's supposed to be beautiful.
And like you said, as long as

1412
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:08,160
nobody's getting hurt and
nothing illegal is being done.

1413
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:10,440
And all your sense of age,
right?

1414
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:13,000
Yeah.
And the other cool thing about

1415
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,760
stuff that I will say, not all
her stuff is about just this.

1416
01:10:15,760 --> 01:10:20,160
The products she talks about,
the health aspects, she talks

1417
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:23,560
about the relationship aspect.
She she, she talks about like if

1418
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:26,000
you're suffering from erectile
dysfunction, she talks about

1419
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:27,560
that.
She talks about it from the

1420
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:29,280
women's side too.
If the women just can't get

1421
01:10:29,280 --> 01:10:31,880
aroused and excited.
So it's, it's, it's not just,

1422
01:10:31,880 --> 01:10:35,000
oh, buy my stuff.
There's actual genuine,

1423
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:39,840
heartfelt with, with knowledge
based backing it of ways to

1424
01:10:39,840 --> 01:10:42,480
overcome certain things within
your life that may be affecting.

1425
01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:45,280
Because let's face it, if your
sexual life isn't as grand as

1426
01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:47,760
you think it should be, it
spills over into your everyday

1427
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:50,720
relationship life and that
crazes that friction and

1428
01:10:50,720 --> 01:10:54,040
tension, you know, and then you
wake up angry because you know,

1429
01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:56,080
another day didn't have sex and
what was wrong with me?

1430
01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:57,320
Then you have that self doubt
thing.

1431
01:10:57,320 --> 01:10:58,480
Then you have the insecurities
thing.

1432
01:10:58,480 --> 01:11:00,560
So it.
Well, you just said something

1433
01:11:00,560 --> 01:11:04,360
that I it's near and dear to my
heart because I actually dated a

1434
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:07,120
girl who had that problem.
She couldn't have sex through

1435
01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:10,240
intercourse or she couldn't have
an orgasm through intercourse.

1436
01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:13,920
So, but she was honest about it.
And that's something that's

1437
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:18,440
important for women, is tell
your partner what you need,

1438
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:21,680
right?
You have no idea as a man,

1439
01:11:21,720 --> 01:11:23,200
that's just, I'm going to focus
on that.

1440
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:26,880
But you know, I, you have no
idea as a, as a man, how

1441
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:31,560
powerful it is when your, when
your wife shares something with

1442
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:36,840
you like that, because the trust
factor alone is huge.

1443
01:11:37,720 --> 01:11:41,080
And then then you have that
understanding of whatever that

1444
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:43,360
issue was.
Then you can go forward with it

1445
01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:45,520
together and find.
Yeah, we just came up with Plan

1446
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:47,800
B.
It's like, you know, she, I'll

1447
01:11:47,800 --> 01:11:49,440
make you happy.
Here's how you're going to make

1448
01:11:49,440 --> 01:11:51,600
me happy.
Or here's how you can make me.

1449
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:54,920
You know, it wasn't a demand.
It was right, Here's what I need

1450
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,280
from you.
And going forward, it was

1451
01:11:57,280 --> 01:11:59,360
beautiful.
You know, it's like I know what

1452
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:01,160
you need.
She knows what I need.

1453
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:03,680
We can move on.
But if you don't have that

1454
01:12:03,680 --> 01:12:06,640
conversation, I think you've
probably encountered through

1455
01:12:06,640 --> 01:12:11,400
your practice men and women who
just have never talked about

1456
01:12:11,640 --> 01:12:15,480
what they need to be happy.
They just go through the motions

1457
01:12:15,480 --> 01:12:18,760
like they think they're supposed
to, but nobody's ever satisfied.

1458
01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:21,240
Yeah, yeah.
Or just we just think we're all

1459
01:12:21,240 --> 01:12:23,000
mind readers.
They're like, they should just

1460
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,120
know.
They should just know that you

1461
01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:27,400
know.
Sure, you said it earlier kind

1462
01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:29,080
of being funny, but those people
are out there.

1463
01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:31,840
If you watch porn, you know it.
There's people that like feet,

1464
01:12:32,080 --> 01:12:34,640
you know they like to suck on
people's feet and that's what

1465
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:37,440
makes them happy.
Nobody is going to guess that

1466
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:39,200
you want to suck on someones
toes.

1467
01:12:39,840 --> 01:12:42,040
Yeah, you have to tell them.
Yeah, right.

1468
01:12:42,040 --> 01:12:44,880
And she, and she talks about
that, she talks about like the

1469
01:12:44,880 --> 01:12:47,560
oral fixation of having a, a
thumb in your mouth while you're

1470
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:50,440
having engaging in sex and, and
the different things that the

1471
01:12:50,440 --> 01:12:52,600
different, right and the
different things that does to

1472
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:54,520
your body.
And it's just, that's what I'm

1473
01:12:54,520 --> 01:12:57,280
saying.
If, if she's not just about sex

1474
01:12:57,280 --> 01:12:59,160
toys.
So you really need to go check

1475
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:02,040
her out, follow her, watch her
stuff because she encompasses

1476
01:13:02,040 --> 01:13:05,600
everything from enhancing your
bedroom experience to just

1477
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:07,520
enhancing your life and your
relationship status and

1478
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:11,000
communication, how to do it
healthy in, in body positive

1479
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:12,800
ways.
It's, it's, it's not a taboo

1480
01:13:12,800 --> 01:13:14,760
thing.
It's not bad to talk about sex.

1481
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:17,640
Now, if my grandmother was still
alive, I would not tell her I

1482
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:20,360
have Steph Conger on the show
because she was my grandmother,

1483
01:13:20,800 --> 01:13:23,640
right?
But, but it's, it's because you

1484
01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:27,200
have people that are, you know,
in, in old school and stuff like

1485
01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:29,400
that, which is fine.
Everybody has their own lane.

1486
01:13:30,360 --> 01:13:32,720
But if, if anything, and that's
why I wanted her on the show

1487
01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:35,680
because number one, I, I dig the
stuff she does and talks about

1488
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:38,480
and it's and it's, it's an
approach that I think is very

1489
01:13:38,480 --> 01:13:41,360
comfortable and it's and it, it
open conversations.

1490
01:13:41,360 --> 01:13:43,880
What you do opens conversations,
right?

1491
01:13:44,280 --> 01:13:47,240
Because I think, I think Nikki
found you by accident and she

1492
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:48,600
shared something with me on
Instagram.

1493
01:13:48,600 --> 01:13:50,240
I'm like, Oh, so then you know
what I mean?

1494
01:13:50,240 --> 01:13:52,400
But that made me go down the
rabbit hole of your stuff.

1495
01:13:52,440 --> 01:13:54,840
And I'm like, this is cool.
These things are cool.

1496
01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:56,200
This can be fun.
This is that.

1497
01:13:56,560 --> 01:14:01,840
And so I really think if you
haven't and you and you're if

1498
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:03,760
you're struggling in your
relationship, whatever level it

1499
01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:06,880
is, go follow stuff and watch
some other stuff because again,

1500
01:14:06,880 --> 01:14:09,440
it's not just sex based, it's
everything.

1501
01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:12,120
Thanks.
Thanks for that.

1502
01:14:12,560 --> 01:14:13,560
Yeah.
Amen.

1503
01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:20,160
Anything else you want to share?
I had a thought and I lost it,

1504
01:14:20,160 --> 01:14:23,440
and it had to do with something
you were just saying.

1505
01:14:23,440 --> 01:14:25,200
So it's gone.
It's gone.

1506
01:14:25,320 --> 01:14:29,200
OK, I'll let it's all going on.
OK, We're just going to add on

1507
01:14:29,200 --> 01:14:30,880
to something you were saying and
I forgot.

1508
01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:32,920
Damn it.
Well, I think Chris is going to

1509
01:14:32,920 --> 01:14:35,840
agree that this won't be your
last time on the show, so.

1510
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:38,320
No, I would love to come back on
Yeah.

1511
01:14:38,400 --> 01:14:40,200
We would love to have you back
on.

1512
01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:45,240
I am doing a thank you.
I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

1513
01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:49,720
Thank you for for having me, but
I'm doing another I'm doing

1514
01:14:49,720 --> 01:14:52,760
another certification and I
always have like AI always get

1515
01:14:52,760 --> 01:14:56,080
like a after those things, you
know, a bunch of education.

1516
01:14:56,080 --> 01:14:57,720
I'm always ripped and ready to
go.

1517
01:14:58,080 --> 01:15:01,440
So I would love to to be back
on, you know, sometime.

1518
01:15:01,440 --> 01:15:03,080
I'm gonna start saying it like
this.

1519
01:15:03,440 --> 01:15:06,480
When you feel like you have
something that you would like to

1520
01:15:06,480 --> 01:15:09,440
share, we want to be the first
people you share it with.

1521
01:15:09,440 --> 01:15:11,840
So you get in touch with Chris
and we'll make it happen.

1522
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:13,680
OK, that's I think we're going
to.

1523
01:15:13,680 --> 01:15:15,600
Start saying it like that.
Yeah.

1524
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,160
OK, yeah, because yeah, I had a
couple other people reach out to

1525
01:15:18,160 --> 01:15:19,440
me that want to come back on the
show.

1526
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:22,440
Yeah, if you have something that
like you get that certification

1527
01:15:22,440 --> 01:15:24,920
and you're excited about it and
you want to share what your new

1528
01:15:24,920 --> 01:15:27,080
knowledge, we want to be the
first people you share it with

1529
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:28,160
so.
Awesome.

1530
01:15:28,280 --> 01:15:29,280
Yeah, Yeah.
Cool.

1531
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:32,200
I mean, you get that excitement
right when you go to a seminar

1532
01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:33,200
and you learn a new trade.
It's like.

1533
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:35,120
Love corners?
Yeah, and you come and, like, go

1534
01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:37,200
check this out, man.
It's the greatest thing ever.

1535
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:38,880
Everybody's got to know what I
know right now.

1536
01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:40,320
Right.
Yes, right.

1537
01:15:40,360 --> 01:15:42,080
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.

1538
01:15:42,360 --> 01:15:45,240
And I sent you my cell in one of
the emails, so just text me back

1539
01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:46,680
and then I can lock you in for
there and then.

1540
01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:48,600
And then that'll be easier to
connect because I'm not always

1541
01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:52,880
on the Chris and my Gmail page.
So again, again, you can find

1542
01:15:52,880 --> 01:15:53,880
Steph.
Let me share the screen.

1543
01:15:53,880 --> 01:15:56,480
You'll find
steph@stephstephconger.com and

1544
01:15:56,600 --> 01:16:02,160
it's STEFCONGER dot com when you
go to the Google machine.

1545
01:16:02,720 --> 01:16:05,000
Yep, Steph with an F.
So when you go into the Google

1546
01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:10,000
machine, just there you go.
Just just type, type Steph

1547
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:14,440
Conger like I did, girl.
And there you come up the pure

1548
01:16:14,440 --> 01:16:16,040
romance.
So like you talked about, you

1549
01:16:16,040 --> 01:16:19,600
were you were in the proof.
I'm actually not with them

1550
01:16:19,680 --> 01:16:22,480
anymore, just so everybody
knows.

1551
01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:24,720
They decided to go direct to
consumer.

1552
01:16:24,720 --> 01:16:28,160
So gotcha.
I'm just my own thing now, which

1553
01:16:28,160 --> 01:16:30,840
has been fun.
I like this right here.

1554
01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:33,920
Elevating romance and intimacy.
I like that.

1555
01:16:34,080 --> 01:16:35,880
Me too.
That is really cool.

1556
01:16:35,880 --> 01:16:36,880
Can you see it on the screen?
Yeah.

1557
01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:39,600
Elevating romance and intimacy.
I think that's cool because,

1558
01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:43,600
again, it's not just about sex,
but sex is always the topic.

1559
01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:45,040
It's always where people go back
to.

1560
01:16:45,360 --> 01:16:47,800
It's always what they blame all
the struggles on with their

1561
01:16:47,800 --> 01:16:51,120
relationship, things like that.
So just communicate, share, open

1562
01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:54,040
up your ideas.
You know, she has all kinds of

1563
01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:56,680
things on here like look, you
have, you have favors from

1564
01:16:56,680 --> 01:17:00,360
TikTok, bath and body lubes and
creams, foreplay, lingerie, sex

1565
01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:04,840
toy, sexual health and more
education you can contact her

1566
01:17:04,840 --> 01:17:06,880
for and ask questions.
Think that I'm sure you're

1567
01:17:06,880 --> 01:17:09,640
you're oh, look, Pickles pickle
troubleshooting.

1568
01:17:09,640 --> 01:17:10,800
See, that's what I'm talking
about.

1569
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:12,960
Do you have any troubles with
your pickle shooting?

1570
01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:16,520
She's going to, she's going to
help you understand and have

1571
01:17:16,520 --> 01:17:19,480
this visceral reaction as a
natural way to boost your

1572
01:17:19,480 --> 01:17:21,840
testosterone.
I agree with Chris that is way

1573
01:17:21,840 --> 01:17:24,320
more clever than just going
right to the.

1574
01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:28,000
Right, right.
Exactly, exactly.

1575
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:29,200
This is.
I love this.

1576
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:30,600
This is.
I mean, and like he said

1577
01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:32,640
earlier, those are conversation
starters, right?

1578
01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:35,840
So if I had seen this, he would
have been the first person that

1579
01:17:35,840 --> 01:17:37,560
I've contacted.
I've been like, have you seen

1580
01:17:37,560 --> 01:17:39,120
this website?
Right.

1581
01:17:39,120 --> 01:17:42,440
Yeah, like, you know, and.
I think that reminds me of what?

1582
01:17:42,840 --> 01:17:44,080
Yeah.
No, Yeah.

1583
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,200
We're not talking about, like,
glass.

1584
01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:49,680
I care, right?
That brings me back to to what I

1585
01:17:49,680 --> 01:17:51,080
wanted to just say.
Good.

1586
01:17:51,080 --> 01:17:55,120
Good.
Side no, but whatever is that.

1587
01:17:55,120 --> 01:17:59,480
That is what it is what you were
saying, Chris, about people

1588
01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:03,000
sending stuff.
It's, I talk a lot about opening

1589
01:18:03,000 --> 01:18:05,480
up the lines of communication,
right?

1590
01:18:05,800 --> 01:18:09,160
And sometimes as crazy it is, is
you can be married to somebody.

1591
01:18:09,200 --> 01:18:12,960
I have met women who have been
married to their partner for

1592
01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:16,160
years and their partner does not
know that they've never had an

1593
01:18:16,160 --> 01:18:19,480
orgasm with them.
OK, and I'm not judging or

1594
01:18:19,480 --> 01:18:21,200
shaming.
I'm just saying that has to

1595
01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:23,320
change.
We have to change that.

1596
01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:27,600
And so if if it's as simple for
that person that's probably

1597
01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:30,360
thinking, Oh my gosh, now I've
gone five years, how am I going

1598
01:18:30,360 --> 01:18:31,560
to how am I going to talk about
it?

1599
01:18:31,560 --> 01:18:33,720
Now?
If they come across a video of

1600
01:18:33,720 --> 01:18:37,880
mine that says how to give her
better orgasms, like tips for

1601
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:42,440
guys, and then she can send that
off to him as that icebreaker

1602
01:18:42,640 --> 01:18:45,040
that just says maybe we could
try something new.

1603
01:18:45,280 --> 01:18:46,960
And she doesn't.
You know what I'm saying?

1604
01:18:47,080 --> 01:18:50,840
That's the Segway, that's the,
that's the bridge that starts

1605
01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:53,280
where.
And, and I believe that I do

1606
01:18:53,280 --> 01:18:56,040
that for people.
Not like I do too, but I'm like,

1607
01:18:56,360 --> 01:18:59,240
that's what I, that's what I
want to do for people, too,

1608
01:18:59,240 --> 01:19:00,600
Yeah.
Yeah.

1609
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:04,560
Technology's cool like that.
We can send, we can hit share

1610
01:19:05,000 --> 01:19:07,440
and send it off and let me do
the hard stuff, you know?

1611
01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:10,400
Let me do the talking for you.
Yeah, and that's the coolest

1612
01:19:10,400 --> 01:19:12,000
thing about it.
That's, I mean, again, that's,

1613
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:15,200
that's how I found you cuz you,
you came up in her feed for

1614
01:19:15,200 --> 01:19:18,680
something and she shared it.
And then so I went down the

1615
01:19:18,680 --> 01:19:21,200
rabbit hole and I'm like, this
is really cool because again,

1616
01:19:21,440 --> 01:19:24,320
it's not, it's not just about
toys and things like that, boys

1617
01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:26,560
and girls, It's, it's education,
it's knowledge.

1618
01:19:26,560 --> 01:19:29,240
It's helping you understand
like, like what we have up right

1619
01:19:29,240 --> 01:19:31,440
now.
This is a huge thing with men

1620
01:19:31,440 --> 01:19:36,920
over 40 all test goes down.
So here's a way on her website,

1621
01:19:36,920 --> 01:19:40,440
stephconger.com Steph with an F
natural ways to boost your

1622
01:19:40,440 --> 01:19:42,840
testosterone.
Then you got sexting prompts for

1623
01:19:42,840 --> 01:19:44,040
couples.
So that's we talked about

1624
01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:46,640
earlier with the date just and
things like that, right?

1625
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:51,920
We're like here, Steph.
So like legit kegels for men,

1626
01:19:51,920 --> 01:19:54,680
you know, women think kegels are
just a people think kegels are

1627
01:19:54,680 --> 01:19:57,560
just for women in their Hoo ha.
But guess what?

1628
01:19:57,840 --> 01:20:01,200
Kegels for men work too.
So and, and, and, you know, so

1629
01:20:01,200 --> 01:20:03,280
just really check her out.
You're going to, you're going to

1630
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:06,960
be amazed what you learn on all
levels of relationships, not

1631
01:20:06,960 --> 01:20:09,160
just the sexual aspect of it.
And it's going to make your

1632
01:20:09,160 --> 01:20:11,320
relationship that much better.
Trust me.

1633
01:20:11,360 --> 01:20:12,600
Yeah.
This has been awesome.

1634
01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:14,760
Yeah, thank you.
I agree.

1635
01:20:14,760 --> 01:20:16,280
I had a lot of fun.
Yeah, yeah.

1636
01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:18,640
So again, so thank you so much
stuff for coming on the show.

1637
01:20:18,640 --> 01:20:20,080
Again, this is for Mike and
Chris.

1638
01:20:20,600 --> 01:20:23,920
If you're feeling depressed and
suicidal, don't do that.

1639
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:26,960
Go journal, go outside and run
and go work out.

1640
01:20:27,160 --> 01:20:31,520
Go show him in the pillow.
Go have sex, right Steph explain

1641
01:20:31,520 --> 01:20:34,120
how the explain how depression
having sex helps with

1642
01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:35,280
depression.
Go ahead.

1643
01:20:35,280 --> 01:20:37,480
Oh.
My gosh, you get, you get A rush

1644
01:20:37,480 --> 01:20:41,640
of serotonin, you get oxytocin
comes after.

1645
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:44,920
So oxytocin is incredible
because after you have sex with

1646
01:20:44,920 --> 01:20:48,480
your partner, women get a huge
boost of oxytocin that makes you

1647
01:20:48,480 --> 01:20:51,080
love your partner.
Like you will literally be like,

1648
01:20:51,080 --> 01:20:53,360
oh, and guess what?
When you love your partner, you

1649
01:20:53,360 --> 01:20:56,960
probably feel less sad.
OK, It's good for your skin,

1650
01:20:56,960 --> 01:21:00,600
like so many things.
And sometimes, yeah, a solution

1651
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:03,320
if you're feeling grumpy or sad
is really just flicking your

1652
01:21:03,320 --> 01:21:05,520
bean or if.
You don't have that option and

1653
01:21:05,520 --> 01:21:06,600
because I'm the same pickle
your.

1654
01:21:06,600 --> 01:21:08,960
Pickle.
I'll say it like Rogan says it

1655
01:21:09,120 --> 01:21:10,920
Go rub one out.
Yep.

1656
01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:14,240
And so, so in in this stuff.
Conquer language.

1657
01:21:14,240 --> 01:21:15,840
Tickle your pickle or rub your
bean.

1658
01:21:16,560 --> 01:21:19,640
Yes, OK, but no serious.
But, and now back to the serious

1659
01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:21,640
side of it.
You can text 988.

1660
01:21:21,640 --> 01:21:23,520
Somebody is standing by waiting
to talk to you.

1661
01:21:24,320 --> 01:21:26,600
You are loved.
You will be missed.

1662
01:21:26,600 --> 01:21:28,680
Don't leave a hole in somebody
else's heart because tomorrow is

1663
01:21:28,680 --> 01:21:31,960
always going to be a better day
with you waking up in it for the

1664
01:21:31,960 --> 01:21:33,080
Chris and Mike show.
I'm Chris.

1665
01:21:33,080 --> 01:21:35,760
He's Mike and this is the the
fantastic Steph Conger,

1666
01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:38,240
stephconger.com with an F Check
her out.

1667
01:21:38,760 --> 01:21:41,960
Trust me, you're going to thank
me for going and following her

1668
01:21:41,960 --> 01:21:43,120
and just the things you're going
to learn.

1669
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:46,120
It's going to be fantastic.
Until next time, we'll see you.

1670
01:21:46,240 --> 01:21:47,200
Thank you, Steph.
Thanks again.

1671
01:21:47,240 --> 01:21:49,640
Love you, Mike.
Love you Mike, just love you too

1672
01:21:49,880 --> 01:21:51,680
all.
Right bro.

1673
01:21:51,880 --> 01:21:55,120
Peace.
We're clearing it.

1674
01:21:56,080 --> 01:21:59,040
We don't want to fly in this
door for you.

1675
01:22:00,640 --> 01:22:01,720
Look the tablet.
Go insane.

1676
01:22:04,880 --> 01:22:10,120
Feel the peaceful video.
I don't get your knees.

1677
01:22:10,120 --> 01:22:20,640
The place where you will go
behind your eyes.

1678
01:22:22,280 --> 01:22:26,960
So that means you're good.
Take a moment.

1679
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:30,480
Look.
Until you see it.

1680
01:22:30,560 --> 01:22:31,520
Fight the battle.
That's you.

1681
01:22:31,520 --> 01:22:34,920
You fuck weird.
Fight the battle.

1682
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:40,360
Look, you fuck weird.
Who is your baby to your finger?

1683
01:22:40,960 --> 01:23:59,280
Oh yeah.
Now you're turning.

1684
01:24:00,280 --> 01:24:04,640
Come down here.
We haven't found solids in the

1685
01:24:04,760 --> 01:24:09,160
sand.
If I'm fighting wait for the

1686
01:24:09,320 --> 01:24:13,520
dead or when it's going around,
you get for the wind.

1687
01:24:13,640 --> 01:24:18,200
If you ain't no creature, we're
playing fire.

1688
01:24:18,320 --> 01:24:20,840
And you should.
You quit on the Almighty.

1689
01:24:23,720 --> 01:24:26,400
Got a dream?
Who in your life?

1690
01:24:27,640 --> 01:24:34,840
The people Soul in every man.
Take the trip behind your eyes.

1691
01:24:36,360 --> 01:24:38,800
Feel the soul.
That one you shall now.

1692
01:24:38,920 --> 01:24:46,360
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.