#97 - Jeremy Cross - Addiction, Recovery, & The Power of Truth

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There's the music, it's the
human factor when you just want

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to.
Get.

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The button.
Hey, they know that we're not

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faking it that way.
They know we're not.

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Hey, so this is Chris.
That's Mike.

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This is Chris and Mike show
today.

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We have a very cool guest in the
show.

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His name is Jeremy Cross.
He's a writer.

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He's an author, which is one of
the same, but not always.

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He he's also a recovering
addict.

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He's he's he's had a unique
life.

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And we connected on a Facebook
podcast page and I invited him

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on the show.
So here he is.

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So Jeremy, without further ado,
kind of give us a little bit of

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a, you know who you are.
Thank you.

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Thank you for having me.
Yeah.

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I'm Jeremy Cross, author Finding
My Lost Life, The fall to

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Addiction and Rise to Recovery.
I spent seven years on the

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Downtown Eastside.
When I I moved from the small

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town in Langley to the big city
of Vancouver.

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I had dreams, aspirations.
I fell in love with somebody,

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which got me down there, and I
got surrounded by the wrong

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people, made some bad errors and
judgement, ended up getting into

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drugs and got involved in the
dark side of the world, and I

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was in and out of jail for the
last couple years.

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I'm now a year and a half sober.
Thank you.

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I started writing my book
actually when I was

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incarcerated, January 2024.
I got out in May 2024 and when I

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finished and published it.
Let me jump in here.

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When you were incarcerated, was
it was like a like a, a federal

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Pennant prison or was it a a
county jail?

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I don't.
Was it in Canada?

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It was in Canada, I'm from
Canada, Vancouver.

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OK, UK, So I don't, I don't know
anything about Canada, Canada's

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penal system and what it looks
like.

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Is it anything like it is in
America?

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No, it's a lot softer.
So we we get like, yeah, we get

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TV's and oh shit, yeah.
Ice cream Ice cream socials.

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Sometimes, yeah, And I really.
Friends and holidays, Yeah, what

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the fuck?
They're the nicest people in the

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world.
Chris Dunham, you were there.

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I was there, I was in, I was in
Canada not too long ago.

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And they were, they were just,
they would they, they genuinely

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seemed like super nice humans.
Like it wasn't, it wasn't, it

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didn't seem to be faked.
It didn't seem to be polished

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because everybody that we ran
into was just like like a small

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story.
And so we can get back to your

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thing.
We went to a store, right to buy

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something.
I, I bought some Canada Canadian

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syrup, right, because you have
to, And I gave him American

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money.
And then he's like, he's

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explaining the change and stuff.
He's like, and I would have

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given him too much, but he was
like, you know, like said just a

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nice human.
He said, no, no, no, no, you got

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to do this, this, this.
And there you go.

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I'm like, oh, OK, cool.
So, you know, Americans, I'm

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unfortunately would, I think
would take advantage of that

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because most, you know, not
most, but there are those,

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those, you know, 1 percenters
that are just like, come on,

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man, Just come on.
Yeah, ironically, ironically,

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I've gone to the States because
I'm we're right by the border

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into Washington.
It's about 1/2 hour from my

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house and I've gone and gotten
gas and paid with Canadian and

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they you charged me way too
much.

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I didn't understand the
currency.

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And then after I I like got past
the border I called my mom.

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I'm like, man, just cost me like
100 Canadian to get like $40 gas

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and she's like, oh son, that's
not right.

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I want to, I want to apologize.
I want to apologize to you on

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behalf of the American that did
that, because that's pretty

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messed up, man.
We're not, we're not all like

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that.
A lot of.

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You're talking to two guys who
would have said no, you gave us

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way too much money or we don't
understand the conversion, so we

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don't want to screw you up, so
we'll Google it now.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can use
the AI for everything.

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Yeah, yeah.
I don't condemn a whole group of

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people for one person's
decisions.

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I appreciate.
That I got a quick question.

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How old were you when you went
in?

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So we can kind of get a.
And how old?

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We're a year and a half sober
now, right?

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Yeah, so I went in January 16th,
2024 as my sobriety date.

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OK.
But that was just my last done.

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I had issues.
I'm getting involved in crime

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from 2020 and I was in and out.
So what happens in Canada is you

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go to pretrial Center, it's
called, we have two facilities

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in our lower lower Mainland
area, Surrey Pretrial Center and

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N Fraser Pretrial Center.
And you kind of you get when

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you're there, you get credited 2
1/2 days per one.

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So a lot of people will try to
like stay in pretrial center so

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they get more credit for their
days.

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And then right, that's when you
either and then usually so

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you'll either get bail and then
if they.

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So that's what was happening
when your first time offender,

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which I had no criminal record
going into Vancouver, but I went

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in with a bang.
The judge kind of laughed.

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I mean, I was in my book, I talk
about it.

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I, I'm the, I got involved with
people that were Canada's top

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most wanted for fraud.
Oh, wow, yeah, I had my identity

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stolen, my bank accounts
compromised, my $40,000 car

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stolen.
The the guy that I was involved

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with, yeah, it was pretty rough.
And he had a history with the

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VPDII was obviously naive.
I was being gaslit.

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I don't come from a family that
has deception and fraud and

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criminal activities.
So I, I was eaten alive down

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there when I got around these
people, especially because they,

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they're predatorial, they know
exactly what to look for, right?

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I was.
I have those stories myself,

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man.
Don't feel bad when you grow up

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in a good environment and then
you get thrown in the polar

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opposite.
You just, you just can't believe

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that people are like that.
Just like Chris said, you know,

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we apologize for that asshole
because.

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Yeah, honestly, that's why like
when it's like there's so many,

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there's about 6 key events that
happened that I write about in

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the book.
And every time I was, I was like

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just stunned.
Like, no, like, no offense, but

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when you hear about these crazy
stories, like everyone even

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that's read my book, they're
like, Oh my God, you hear about

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the stuff in the States, I'm
like, Oh no, we're just as bad.

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It just doesn't get talked
about.

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OK, OK.
Yeah, like in my, in my book,

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that's not my perception.
That's just what people globally

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have said.
Like, you know, I was involved.

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I had a, you know, the beginning
of my downfall.

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I was involved with a guy who I
went and supported in a thinking

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he just had an alcohol problem,
not knowing he was a crystal

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meth addict, you know.
Yeah.

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And then it based on it was my
first.

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It was this epic romance like I
was blinded.

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It was I was naive.
I it was my first thing doing

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this.
We, you know, live together

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joint accounts, right.
So and then.

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And you're you're probably
you're probably happy as hell

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like this is amazing.
This is 100% I found the guy,

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found the life partner.
This is going to be fantastic.

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We're going to build our little
empire together, right And just.

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And then, you know, goes to show
like you get involved with

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someone who's broken and I, I
didn't know that he was broken.

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So when he, you know, he
proposed to me and then a couple

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months later asked for an open
relationship, which fucking

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crippled me.
And then he relapsed on crystal

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meth and be given on where we
were in our relationship.

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I would have done anything to
have his attention and to be a

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part of it.
And so when he said let's do

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crystal meth together, I was
like, OK, he wants to be with

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me.
So I made that decision.

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He's he had escorting
experience.

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Of course, we lost our jobs.
We I, you know, I worked full

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time chief OPS or he offered
chief operations at a tallies

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rule, shutters and blinds
corporation.

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It was a multi $1,000,000
company.

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Oh wow.
He was a contractor downtown.

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So we both lost our jobs.
We needed money.

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He said let's escort.
So we started selling our

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bodies.
Oh, for money.

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So when you say when you say the
dark side, man, you you're

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talking the dark side.
Wow.

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I'm not and I'm not laughing
about it.

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I'm just saying like we've heard
dark, but but you just, I mean,

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it's dark.
That's yeah, that's cool.

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So if you're just you.
Took it a level beyond where I

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mean, I had the meth addiction,
whatever went down that road

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because.
Yeah, right.

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And that's just the tip of the
iceberg.

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All right, so again, that's
crazy, man.

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If you're just joining in this
Jimmy Cross writer author,

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what's the name of your book
again?

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Finding my lost life.
The fall to addiction and rise

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to recovery.
Finding My Lost Life.

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You can find it on Amazon and
jeremycross.com, correct?

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Dot CA.
Dot CA oh, because you're in

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Canada, jeremycross.ca and this
is the Chris and Mike show.

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So don't forget to go on to
Instagram, Facebook, YouTube,

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drop a review, give us a follow
on all our platforms.

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And hey, Jimmy, you're one of
the first person to hear this.

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Coming soon is the Christian
mikeshow.com.

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Everybody check it out.
We got a smoking deal.

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We got a smoking deal.
Now I don't, I don't want you to

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give up like all the all the
golden Nuggets of your story

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because I want people to go buy
your book.

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OK, So when we get when we get
done with our our post

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production, we're going to put a
link down underneath the show so

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people can click on the link and
go directly to your website to

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buy your book.
I'm going to buy it.

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You know, Mike and I, we always
buy the books of people that

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come on the show because again,
we have a history of addiction

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recovery and you do too.
That's why you're on here.

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So we're we're.
Yeah, we all have our story, but

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yours is, like Chris said,
yours.

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You're willing to go the one
step further than nobody else

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has, and that's fine.
But it's just crazy to.

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It's not only crazy to hear.
For most people, they just can't

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even imagine.
So I find it fascinating that

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you're willing to to share that
side of your story.

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And I want to pick, I want to
ask you one question because we

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didn't get this out of when you,
when you when you started seeing

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this guy, how old were you?
24.

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OK.
And how old are you now?

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31.
OK.

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So we have a six year, we got
six years of chaos.

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Not 7/7.
OK, seven years of chaos.

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OK, so when you're when you were
just talking about how you went

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down the path of selling your
body.

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So how old would you when when
that started?

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2025.
OK, so 25 year old walking down

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the streets of Vancouver, you
know, selling your booty.

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Take it away, Jeremy.
Yeah, so it it, I mean, I

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strongly am against that.
Like I have a newer, I have a

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huge respect obviously for the
sex trade and the people in it.

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But like morally I was taught
and I and I don't agree with

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sharing my body inorganically
and putting a price on sex and

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the experience you can create.
You know, I'm not morally OK

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with that, right.
If it wasn't for like doing

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crystal that's every day, I
probably wouldn't.

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It would have been sustainable
for me, but then my partner kind

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of was.
So in Canada we have websites

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like Leos List, Rent Boys where
you create an account, you put

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photos you describe and people
just text you call you and

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that's how the business goes.
I did all that and he was

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someone who's not a functioning
addict.

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So like he just was like
disintegrating before me.

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00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,800
So we had a, we had a deal like
we're only going to do duo.

225
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,000
But then client started only
wanting to pay for me and then I

226
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,400
was going and doing it and he
was collecting the money.

227
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,920
So it became like a pimp
situation.

228
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,840
Wow.
So I started to have a problem.

229
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,040
Yeah.
It was really awkward.

230
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,720
I'm like, OK, so you're my pimp
now.

231
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,120
Like, how did I get here?
Wow.

232
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,320
Yeah, if you went from.
Like then when you get home,

233
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:33,080
you're together or when the
person leaves or however you

234
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,680
were doing it, Yeah.
And then let me.

235
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,080
Let me ask a question real quick
before you go further down this

236
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,200
rabbit hole.
So you started out as a duel,

237
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,200
like you said, which which in my
mind would be good because then

238
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,000
you have you have somebody back
and like got your back right,

239
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,000
right.
So you're not going into this

240
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,600
environment alone.
So then when he decides to just

241
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,520
become the pimp daddy, then
you're going into these

242
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,320
environments by yourself with
nobody like got your back right?

243
00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:02,160
How freaky was that?
Like at that point, my heart was

244
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,920
so broken.
Like when he asked for an open

245
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,720
relationship before we even
relapse or he relapsed and I did

246
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,440
it, I knew in my heart he wasn't
going to be the guy that I was

247
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,040
going to marry.
So I stayed even though I knew

248
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,400
because I didn't want to lose my
life.

249
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,440
I didn't want to go back to my
mom's and Langley.

250
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,760
I wasn't doing that, so I
stayed.

251
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,640
I feel like I betrayed love and
love betrayed me.

252
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,360
And so I was so numb at this
point.

253
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,800
Like it was the that wasn't and
the money was good.

254
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,720
That's the other.
Thing, man, that was a nice

255
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,920
Yeah, well, saying there, yeah,
very well said.

256
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,280
So people, so people understand
because I don't how, how big of

257
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,800
a town is Vancouver compared to
Langley, because I'm, I'm

258
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,080
thinking there's a big
difference there.

259
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,720
Yeah, big difference like
Langley is.

260
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,080
Like I wanted to know that same
piece of information.

261
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,840
Yeah, I mean, it's, it's
expanding now, but Vancouver is

262
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,720
like, I mean, it's like Toronto,
it's that, well, Toronto's

263
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,520
bigger, but it's got all the
high rises.

264
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,800
It's where it's it's big.
It's a whole little mini island.

265
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,120
If you look at the look at the
map.

266
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,280
Million people. 2 million
people.

267
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,760
I'd.
I'd say like, yeah, close to

268
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,520
1,000,000.
It's pretty like there's a lot

269
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,880
of people there.
Yeah, it's big and.

270
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,760
Then and then trying to.
Compare it to somewhere in the

271
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:14,120
States like like it looks like
New York.

272
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,960
Of course, New York is is like
you can't compare like but but

273
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:22,320
as far as high rises go and like
the subway and like it's got the

274
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:26,560
vibe of New York of.
Course, but 706,000, how much

275
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:31,240
706,000 So yeah, we were close.
And then and then what's the

276
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,280
size of Langley?
What's is that a small town?

277
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,280
Yeah.
I can't Google it, but yeah, I'm

278
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,680
funny 'cause I just went to the
city City Council meeting the

279
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,280
other day.
I'm meeting the mayor.

280
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,240
Ohh for.
Langley.

281
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,440
Yeah, we can get into that.
That's like a full circle thing.

282
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,760
That's kind of cool, right?
You can do some educating.

283
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,480
Yeah, like my main, my main
message and goal like from

284
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,920
sharing my story is to change
the, the narrative that being

285
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,320
like a lot of people are ashamed
or they're embarrassed by their,

286
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,840
their past and their addiction.
Like a lot, a lot of people

287
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,240
don't admit that you're an
addict, like that's a problem,

288
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,120
which then they don't get the
help that they need.

289
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:10,120
So by me sharing on a global
level, like I want to empower

290
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,760
people to be like, listen, this,
this shit is real.

291
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,040
We're in an opiate crisis, We're
in a mental health crisis around

292
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:20,520
the world and like that.
My goal is to see it like on it.

293
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,480
I want to do ATV book adoption.
I'd like to have a Netflix

294
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,760
series to create, like to reach
a larger audience and educate

295
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,160
and spread awareness like like
the stuff is happening.

296
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,760
I mean, I also had a client.
This is the second before I got

297
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,320
into the second person who is a
billionaire.

298
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,240
And this is the other thing also
on a side note that really kind

299
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,080
of screwed my mind is because a
lot of what society thinks that

300
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,840
people that do drugs are losers
are drains, right?

301
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:49,480
But and the cover of my book,
like I that's why I, I made it

302
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:50,520
like this.
Yeah.

303
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,680
So that was before I started.
I got hooked on fentanyl.

304
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,800
But I I still look good.
I still had AI had a condo, I

305
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,920
had a car.
I had nice things like I was

306
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:03,600
doing good and I had clients
that were politicians, lawyers,

307
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:08,040
doctors, like and so like in my
mind and I kind of argue with my

308
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,560
mom, I'm like, well, I don't
know, I like I got high, high

309
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:15,800
proper citizens that are paying
me thousands for my time and

310
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,960
doing drugs with me and then
returning to their families,

311
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,760
right.
So that kind of messed up my

312
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,240
mind, but it's just, yeah, like
I really screwed with what I

313
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,680
what it was right?
What was wrong?

314
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,280
It really questioned everything.
But I had a client that was a

315
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:35,080
billionaire client who turned
out, and I write about this in

316
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:39,280
my book too, that he bought an 8
and a 10 year old like that.

317
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:43,280
There was child stuff going on.
And I got approached by a gang

318
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,440
who found out on the street that
this this woman who was a

319
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,880
crackhead sold her kids to a
billionaire.

320
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:55,280
And it ended up being my client
that I found out, which was

321
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:56,520
horrible.
That's.

322
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,560
So that's really that's like
this shit.

323
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,560
Happening.
So like Jeffrey Epstein type

324
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,560
shit with the.
Oh, yeah, yeah, man, yeah.

325
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,400
There are so many.
So many.

326
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,680
Things his town is 28,963
people, so that's quite that's

327
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,840
like me going from here to when
I moved to while Phoenix was

328
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,920
yeah, a little bit bigger, but
it's the same culture shot.

329
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,160
Yeah, MM lives in Pontiac.
I live in a small town.

330
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,360
I grew up in a small town.
I moved back here.

331
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,120
So it's we have parallel stories
in that respect.

332
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,880
I moved from here to Chicago and
then here to Phoenix, so.

333
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,280
Well, there's more color and
more culture and more

334
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,520
acceptance.
You know, it's the vibe, right?

335
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,080
It's, it's energetic.
It's, it's where the dream go.

336
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,840
You go to the big city to get
your dreams right.

337
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,400
Like that was the goal.
Sure.

338
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,840
I had the same dream.
I wanted to be a rock star and

339
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,680
that's how I know Chris.
We formed a band together so.

340
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,600
Sick, but we wanted to be a pop
star one day.

341
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,960
We wanted to be rock stars, but,
you know, we would have settled

342
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,840
for selling anything that would
have paid the bills.

343
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:54,480
So.
Right.

344
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,880
Yeah.
Our open, our opening song,

345
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,360
Jeremy is is is a song that Mike
and I wrote called Freeman.

346
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,599
So yeah, cool.
Yeah, yeah, I would like to I

347
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:07,160
work at right now I work at
together we can recovering

348
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,480
Education Center and we have a
staff there that does like the

349
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,040
beats and the DJ board.
And I'm like, man, we should do

350
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:16,680
like an Eminem song like like
dear fellow addict and have like

351
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,400
the first chorus, someone who's
in addiction and then have the

352
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,240
second chorus, someone who's out
of addiction.

353
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,079
Nice.
And just kind of like have it

354
00:17:23,079 --> 00:17:25,720
like that, that struggle to like
come to the top of the hill

355
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,320
where it's beautiful up here,
like, you know, yeah, that's

356
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,080
cool.
Some ideas?

357
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,240
That's a good idea.
Hey, again, if you're just

358
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,440
joining us is Jimmy Cross.
He is an author of AI Keep

359
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,400
Forgetting the name of your
book.

360
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,280
Tell Me Again.
Finding my lost life.

361
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,280
Finding my lost life.
I don't know why I can't

362
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,120
remember that jeremycross.ca
finding my lost life.

363
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,840
He's it's it's all about
rediscovering, finding himself,

364
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,160
his road to recovering the
chaos.

365
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,080
And then soon prior to that.
And then also don't forget to

366
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,520
find us on Instagram, Facebook,
YouTube, the Christian Mike

367
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,840
show.
So we've, we've, we've, we've

368
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:01,040
gone down the path of being an
escort and, and, and your, your,

369
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,360
your, your boyfriend turned into
a pimp daddy.

370
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,840
So where did, how did that, how
did that dynamic play out 'cause

371
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,560
obviously at some point time you
fractured that relationship,

372
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,840
probably out of sheer survival,
I would think.

373
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:17,320
Yeah, I like he was his mental
state was going to like he we

374
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,760
had to leave the condo that we
shared with two other guys.

375
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,280
We had to downgrade.
I asked my mom for help.

376
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:27,040
She paid help pay for the
deposit on a new smaller one,

377
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:31,160
which in my mind that I'm like,
OK, it's like my my family

378
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,280
helped it like it should be like
respect, that kind of thing.

379
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:38,280
But he like was losing his mind
and getting jealous And just

380
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,400
like he was getting frustrated.
We ended up getting coming to

381
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,920
like fights and he ended up
stealing my car and crashing in

382
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,360
the alleyway, throwing my
clothes out the window.

383
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,200
Like he was, he was, I mean, it
was my first instance with a

384
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,600
narcissist too.
I had no idea what I was the

385
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,800
what I was doing.
And so like, yeah, he turned

386
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,800
against me and I luckily he
ended up taking my name, going

387
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:05,040
to the landlord, taking my name
illegally and fraudulently off

388
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,880
our agreement and and installed
a new guy.

389
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,400
I found out I, I threatened the
landlord.

390
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,920
I said, I'm going to take you to
small claims.

391
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,280
Like I didn't authorize this.
You just broke a legal document.

392
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,120
So he then had another apartment
building he owned.

393
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,760
And so he on Barclay St.
So he said, listen, I'll put you

394
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,640
in a studio over there.
Let's just.

395
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,440
And I was like, all right, cool.
And that was the end.

396
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,080
And then that that guy ended up
stealing like I did all the

397
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,360
business stuff.
I did the emailing, all the like

398
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:35,720
all the communications.
He stole the e-mail and not like

399
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,280
I so I had no client list,
nothing.

400
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:42,080
I had to start from scratch and
that ended that one.

401
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,880
I can see that.
Yeah.

402
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:47,960
See you later.
Bye.

403
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,920
Yeah.
And then, yeah, I got my own

404
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,560
place.
I started doing it alone.

405
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,640
I was like, that's that cover of
my book.

406
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,680
And I, by the way, I got a lot
of controversy from people being

407
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,760
like, whoa.
And the cover makes no sense.

408
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,360
And I'm like, actually, the
reason I chose that cover is

409
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,560
because I literally wanted it to
be a message.

410
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,800
Don't judge a book by its cover
because I was the most

411
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,200
unhealthy, most unhappy, most
unsafe.

412
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,000
But just because I looked from
the outside like, don't judge.

413
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,240
You have no idea.
What somebody's going through,

414
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,160
right?
And coming from a fellow artist,

415
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,760
I've been a musician since I was
10 years old.

416
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,400
I read the back of your book.
I looked at the cover, you know,

417
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,840
just so I had a little bit of an
idea what you were about.

418
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,240
That's what I got out of that
cover.

419
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,400
How cool, after reading the back
of your book and knowing you

420
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:38,840
went from basically what I went
from the worst point a person

421
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,760
could be in to trying to be
positive and helping the world

422
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,880
to see that there's hope and
light.

423
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:49,120
And, you know, then I look back
at your cover again and I'm

424
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:52,320
like, OK, I get it right, but
not everybody's going to get

425
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,440
that.
I understand it.

426
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,640
So I'm glad you brought that up.
That's awesome.

427
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,880
Absolutely.
So again, it's finding my lost

428
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,080
life.
The fall and rise, the fall, the

429
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,840
fall to addiction and the rise
to recovery.

430
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,040
Jeremy Cross, jeremycross.ca, go
check it out.

431
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,160
We're talking to him today.
He's sharing all the intimate

432
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:11,000
details about his chaotic life.
That's how I got out of it.

433
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:16,720
How did you go from that to
ending ending up in the criminal

434
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:21,000
justice system?
OK, so then the second person I

435
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,720
met, he was the one I think the
fifth most wanted.

436
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,560
He did a huge real estate fraud,
identity fraud.

437
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,160
Yeah, like I was I.
Was like his face is on the wall

438
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,320
in every whatever you guys call
it like the highest authority.

439
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,520
Knows gang squad, knows them.
Like, yeah, they're well known.

440
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,360
Again, I had no idea.
I didn't come.

441
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,360
I'm not.
I didn't know any of the

442
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,360
history.
And nobody, of course, will say

443
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,360
anything.
Around Was he the same age as

444
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:45,040
you?
Older.

445
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,200
Younger A.
Couple years older yet?

446
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,640
OK, because basically you're
still.

447
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,400
You're still, you're still 2425
years old at this time, right?

448
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,080
Yeah.
OK, OK.

449
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,480
Yeah.
And so, yeah.

450
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,920
And his DOC was fentanyl and I I
didn't even know what fentanyl

451
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:03,960
was at this time.
I just knew that like we would

452
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,280
do crystal together and then
let.

453
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:10,800
Me ask you this real quick from
a fellow recovering addict who I

454
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,720
did drugs to see how many I
could do not just as not just

455
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,160
for fun.
How do you do fentanyl

456
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,960
recreationally without fucking
killing yourself?

457
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,160
You can't if if you if I went in
and did it right now because I'm

458
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,360
not.
I have my systems at 0.

459
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,880
It's I mean when I first, I mean
I overdose.

460
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,640
You overdosed like I overdosed
the first time I was introduced

461
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:33,080
to it.
He.

462
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,840
He.
How much did it take for that to

463
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,120
happen?
Give people an idea.

464
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:42,200
Heat, well, I mean, it depends
how strong the dope is, like the

465
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,200
people that are cooking it.
When you get fentanyl, you mix

466
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:49,680
it with calf and a type of sugar
and you mix it together and then

467
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,000
bait.
You can add food coloring to

468
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,880
make it a certain color, but
based on the potency of the

469
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,480
amount of fentanyl and the calf.
And some like some people

470
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,200
obviously on the streets, they
look for dope that drops them,

471
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,320
right?
So depending on the potency and

472
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,680
how good the cook is, because
you just have these gangsters

473
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,120
that are cooking it like in
their backyard or in their like

474
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,680
the kitchen, like it's called on
the street, it's called down.

475
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,400
You can't smoke fentanyl
straight up, you'll die.

476
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,280
So they mix it with these other
two things and it's called down.

477
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,360
So that's what to look out for
for sure.

478
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,520
Down yeah like if if I was to go
if you know if anyone was to go

479
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,160
and like try to do fentanyl or
which I highly recommend against

480
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,200
it yeah you would say can I get.
Some boys and girls, no.

481
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,000
No, not at all.
Like in Vancouver.

482
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,720
They No, I want the opposite.
I want people to understand how

483
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,800
little of this.
Like.

484
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,720
Potentially take to kill your
loved one.

485
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,760
And it's not even fentanyl now.
Now there's two other and now

486
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,480
they mix benzo benzos in it
there.

487
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,920
There's another that literally
destroys like eats your lungs

488
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,040
from the inside.
I can't remember what it's

489
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,760
called.
It's a type of gown.

490
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,800
I heard at one point in time
they were mixing elephant

491
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,280
tranquilizer with it.
That's, oh, Trank.

492
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:01,920
Yeah, that's what it's called.
Trank.

493
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,680
There you go.
Look at the trank.

494
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:08,000
Chris Dunham for the win. 10
points to.

495
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,520
The guy that's never touched it.
Yeah, right.

496
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,880
So later this.
Is way beyond anything I ever

497
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,920
did.
Meth was popular right about the

498
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,840
time that I was at the lowest
point in my life, so that was

499
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,760
the last drug that I ever was
addicted to.

500
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:27,040
Yeah, well, fentanyl like.
So what happened was I ended up

501
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,360
having 30 grand of cash in my
safe.

502
00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:33,000
I had Telus alarm systems like I
was, I had a lot of nice things

503
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,200
before the second person came
into my life.

504
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,160
I was his mark.
He used and abused.

505
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:42,120
He he wanted to me to spend the
month like, so I didn't know

506
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:44,240
what fentanyl was.
He would do a certain drug with

507
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,280
the crystal meth and he'd become
a fucking monster.

508
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,800
He'd steal my wallet.
He'd disappear.

509
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,160
He was a totally different
person.

510
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,880
His whole persona changed.
He was a fucking monster and

511
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,560
would steal for me and so then I
started to learn what it was.

512
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,720
I was told by some other people
so I banned it from my house.

513
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,120
I said you're not doing fentanyl
up here.

514
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:03,720
I don't want you around me.
He knew I had money in my safe.

515
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,920
So he he purposefully overdosed
me on fentanyl, mixed it with

516
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,640
crystal meth in a shot that we
did.

517
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,840
I will died open up.
I woke up in the hospital and I

518
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,440
was instantly attached like I
was hooked on fentanyl the next

519
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:16,720
day.
Holy.

520
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,920
Shit.
And so that was my introduction

521
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,360
to fentanyl.
Wow, so this is the guy after

522
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,440
the guy that you were hoping
that, you know, live heavily

523
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,800
ever after.
That's heavy, man.

524
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,320
So how did, how did, how did you
connect with with guy #2?

525
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,800
He sought me out like in in this
in the escort world, like

526
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,400
especially in the gay escort
world.

527
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,720
It's a pretty like tight knit
community.

528
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,920
And you know, I I didn't know
like having nice.

529
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,000
I mean, I dress nice by nature,
whatever.

530
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,880
I have a nice car.
I I'm not someone who was

531
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,480
egotistical or I broadcast it
like I had good style, but I'd

532
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,040
walk down the Davie St. or name
in name street, but that I

533
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,080
didn't know that catches
people's attention and then they

534
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,600
fucking they want to know about
you.

535
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,320
They want to know where you are
and they, they're, you're a

536
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,080
mark.
And so someone was, I was

537
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,560
obviously it got told to this
group of people, these

538
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:12,360
fraudsters, and they implanted
one master craftedly, got me all

539
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:17,000
fucking wonky and gaslit and
still I I didn't know anything

540
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,720
about this world and nobody
around me would get involved.

541
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,960
They all pretended not to know
anything because they were so

542
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,920
worried that the gays would go
on them because they knew who he

543
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:31,560
was and I didn't, so nobody
around me would say anything.

544
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,160
And so I was I.
But they all knew.

545
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,640
They all fucking knew.
He's been in Vancouver for a

546
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,200
decade.
He grew like he's well known by

547
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:42,360
the VPD, which is why he he had
me in the right place at the

548
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:44,160
right time.
Like when we started doing

549
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:48,440
fraud, you know, after he
frauded me for a year and a half

550
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,880
that we were dating that I
didn't know.

551
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,080
When I started to become
educated and I became more of a

552
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,640
problem to him, he would
threaten to go after my mom and

553
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,720
dad's Bureau.
So I had to learn.

554
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,520
I called Auntie Fraud Canada and
like, I started to pay attention

555
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,920
to like, what they were doing so
I could protect myself.

556
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,800
And then, yeah, like when
fentanyl came in, the money was

557
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,240
gone.
He sold my wardrobe, my $40,000

558
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,400
car.
He stole, hit a woman, fled the

559
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,080
scene.
I went to go pick up my car at

560
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,960
the tow yard.
They told me I'm no longer the

561
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,680
owner because I defaulted on a
$15,000 equity loan a month

562
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,480
prior, which he went and got in
my name.

563
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,720
I was.
Going to say you probably had no

564
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,280
idea.
So you found all this out as you

565
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:31,080
got to these places.
Oh yeah, no, it was fucked.

566
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:32,680
That's terrible.
Oh yeah.

567
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,520
How was that day?
I mean, you talk about bad days.

568
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,560
How was that day?
You wake up like, oh, it's

569
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,960
another day in the neighborhood.
And then you realize, oh shit,

570
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,840
it's not my your.
Stomach feels a whole lot

571
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,240
different, right?
Oh I fucking dropped to my

572
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,120
knees.
Like I knew instantly what at

573
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,720
this point I knew what was going
on.

574
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,680
Like I knew what he was involved
in and capable of.

575
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,160
So I fucking knew.
It's that like right away I just

576
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,320
dropped and cried and just like
couldn't believe it.

577
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:59,360
So then I at that point I had no
car now, I couldn't afford my

578
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:01,080
rent.
He already had like sold

579
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,680
everything I had.
I ended up now on the street and

580
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,880
I was still so mind fucked that
I like.

581
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,520
And he told me the right things.
He knew my buttons.

582
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,360
He knew what to say.
He knew what not to say.

583
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,720
Not to interrupt you, but real
quick this happened like

584
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,240
overnight.
You went from being set up, you

585
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,800
got money in your and you're
safe and you're in the bank.

586
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,800
You got a nice car, you're doing
OK.

587
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,880
You know that you're going to
live month to month.

588
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,120
Was this like overnight?
This guy did this to you?

589
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,160
It was like a year, about a year
like that.

590
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,400
But this, this harsh stuff was
like, yeah, within weeks, it was

591
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,760
like, boom, boom, boom, boom,
yeah.

592
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,680
So you went from living
comfortably to now I'm on the

593
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,120
street basically within a month?
Yeah.

594
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,160
It was like, well, it's in a
couple months, like, but it was

595
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,400
things after things like the
wardrobe, things would go

596
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,800
missing, the money would go
missing, Yeah.

597
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,320
That still was dramatically
short amount of time to go from

598
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,760
OK, I'm doing fine.
I'm living like a normal human

599
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,760
being, contributing, you know,
whatever.

600
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,160
I got money.
Well, and and and independent

601
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:00,840
now I'm living.
Yeah.

602
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,480
Like I was good.
Yeah, like I was good in my

603
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,240
mind, you know, even though I
still was doing crystal meth and

604
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,520
selling my body.
But I, I was, I felt like I was

605
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,000
in a good place, even though it
was a delusion, whatever, of

606
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,680
course.
But yeah, as soon as he came in

607
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:19,640
and implanted himself and like,
I just like now looking back, of

608
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,840
course, even when I sat in jail,
I mean, so this is when I really

609
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,760
truly found out, when he set me
up.

610
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,080
So I I'm on the street now.
I had no car.

611
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,480
I got nothing.
He told me that he could, we

612
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,560
could be together.
He can't be on the, I can't be

613
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:32,600
on the streets.
Jeremy.

614
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,000
I was like, you motherfucker,
like you're the reason I'm on

615
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,520
the street.
But he's like, if you go get a

616
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,760
car.
So he gave me an Ida driver's

617
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,160
license that looked like me.
He told me I'm going to go into

618
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,000
BMW.
I stupidly went and did it.

619
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,000
I had the fraud squad, gang
squad.

620
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,040
I had helicopters.
I was pinned as this giant

621
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,000
kingpin and fraud.
Wow, He had me.

622
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,040
Yeah, he ratted me out and then
I got went to jail for the first

623
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:56,600
time.
That's why the.

624
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,720
Judge said.
Wow.

625
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,360
Yeah, he set it all up.
I could totally I could totally

626
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,840
see the way you explain that
that's a that's a scene in a

627
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,120
movie like you talked about
earlier that that like that

628
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,240
totally just like wow.
Yeah, like.

629
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,160
Wow, dude.
That's insane.

630
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,120
And it was when I got into jail,
Yeah.

631
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,360
It was when I got into jail that
the inmates around me were like,

632
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,280
dude, like, you don't know what
you're in, do you?

633
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,920
And I was like, no.
And then I started to get

634
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,200
educated.
That was my SO the judge said,

635
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,200
wow, he's got no criminal
record, but he's really going in

636
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,680
with a bang, like a, you know,
theft over 45,000 impersonation.

637
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,720
Like the BMW IS45K.
And I successfully bought it,

638
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,200
insured it.
Yeah, it was like it was like

639
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,720
20.
Anyone counts of fraud?

640
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,880
It was crazy.
Wow.

641
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,120
Plus he gave me a backpack with
bank stamps, credit cards and

642
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,920
checks that I was supposed to go
pick him up with the new car to

643
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,800
go do a score.
And he gave me the bag and I'm

644
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,120
like, why would I take the bag?
Like why don't you take it?

645
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,360
And I'll get like, why would I?
And.

646
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,800
Of course he totally set.
Wow.

647
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,560
So.
So do you still talk to this

648
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,600
guy?
He's at large.

649
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,040
He still has warrants.
I changed the identities for

650
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,400
legal reasons in my book and
stuff like that.

651
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,720
But I like now that I'm cleaning
up my life like since that

652
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:16,680
accident in, in 2019, so that,
that woman that he hit obviously

653
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:22,120
filed, did a claim.
There's $21,000 worth of debt

654
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,240
from that incident with tickets
and insurance issues.

655
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:29,200
And they ICBC was which is our
insurance place here said like,

656
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,360
listen, like this debt stands.
So I had to fill out an

657
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,120
impersonation package with the
VPD, which is now in motion.

658
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,000
I'm waiting to hear back.
I'm hoping like because I can

659
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,480
prove that I wasn't driving and
then hopefully then that 21 K

660
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,680
will go.
But I had to name him and his

661
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,560
date of birth.
I had to say I knew who it was.

662
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,120
So officially I've now reported
it on record.

663
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,120
Good job.
That's awesome.

664
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:57,440
I hope he gets what you know,
like I'm more like I'm not the

665
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,960
first and I'm not going to be
the last.

666
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,880
So if I that was the whole
reason why I wanted to write

667
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:04,240
this book, like holy fuck, Like
I want people to know if you're

668
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,160
going to go down this rabbit
hole or you're in this rabbit

669
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,760
hole.
Hopefully this book, like you

670
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,720
can hear about it, it circulates
like that.

671
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,760
People are capable of this, like
just watch your back, know what

672
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:19,200
you're in because it it happened
so quick and these people in

673
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,480
Vancouver know exactly who
they're looking for.

674
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,360
They know exactly the target, so
yeah.

675
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,880
And and you fit that bill.
So again, this is Jeremy Cross,

676
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:32,080
jeremycross.ca, Finding my lost
life, the fall to addiction and

677
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,200
the rise to recovery.
Look, I got it right that time.

678
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:41,320
I'm so proud of you.
So, so in 2019, when you when

679
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,520
you go to, you get incarcerated
with a bang.

680
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,920
So what was your what was your
sentencing?

681
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,240
How much time did you actually
do?

682
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,440
Is it kind of like America where
you get you get sentenced for

683
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,120
this, but then you can get
paroled early?

684
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,760
That was my first 6th, so yeah,
I was in pretrial I think for

685
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,000
like 2 months so.
Just just so American listeners

686
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,600
understand, is pretrial kind of
like being just a county jail.

687
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,160
Yeah, well, like, OK, so when
you get arrested, you go to city

688
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,640
cells, it's called, which is the
Vancouver overnight.

689
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,640
You, you stay there.
They basically they gave you a

690
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:16,600
Cliff bar and a fruit to go
disgusting stick every four

691
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,280
hours.
That's all you get for until

692
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,920
you're there.
It's fucking freezing down there

693
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,920
and you know you're you're going
through withdrawal and

694
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:26,520
everything for 24 hours.
You have to see a judge via on

695
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,720
the TV.
It's all done in the basement

696
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,240
there.
You either get bail or you

697
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:36,320
don't.
And so if you get remanded, they

698
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,720
take you to North Fraser or
Surrey to hold you until you get

699
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,440
another bail date or you get
sentenced.

700
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,480
So like my I'm, of course I'm, I
was on disability.

701
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:50,080
So I had a government lawyer and
he said listen, you're better to

702
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:54,520
plead guilty to all the charges
even though I'm like, well, but

703
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,560
like, you know, he's like that.
It'll take a year and a half.

704
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,240
You'll sit in pretrial center
until trial if you don't plead

705
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,120
guilty.
But if you plead guilty because

706
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,600
it's your first time offense,
we'll give you 6 months.

707
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,199
So I would just do that.
Otherwise you're going to sit

708
00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:10,400
here for a year and a half
waiting for trial on a non

709
00:34:11,159 --> 00:34:13,120
guilty plea.
Oh.

710
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,480
So that's how it works here
with.

711
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,400
Interesting.
So you're better off.

712
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,560
You're going to like, if you
want to get out and you're not

713
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,760
like worried about a record.
And at that point, I didn't give

714
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:22,880
a shit.
I thought I was going to die a

715
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,480
junkie.
I was like, Get Me Out of here,

716
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,840
right?
So that was actually legitimate

717
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,960
advice.
You did the six months instead

718
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,520
of waiting a year and a half
like any normal person would,

719
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,320
right?
As long as that was on, that's

720
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,520
what ended up happening.
You just served the first six

721
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,280
months.
So they basically you like you

722
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,040
get a day and a half while
you're in pretrial, a two days

723
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,719
story credit.
So you want to like you tell

724
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,400
your lawyer, like stretch out.
I don't want a bail hearing.

725
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,320
I don't want anything.
And then when you go to

726
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,159
sentencing, I got sentenced and
they have to take you out of

727
00:34:51,159 --> 00:34:52,880
pretrial because you're not
going to trial.

728
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,840
And they put you into a
different one, which is called

729
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,560
Fraser Correctional Center.
And that's you still have TV's

730
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,840
and stuff like that, like it's.
Ice cream Social.

731
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,840
It's not the pen.
We do have the pen.

732
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,480
OK, what's the what's the so the
pen like meaning penitentiary?

733
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,840
Yeah, that like the hardcore.
OK, so you do have that?

734
00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:12,160
We do have it.
That's if you get a sentence

735
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,160
over 2 years, OK, I think over
2, they send you to the

736
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,680
penitentiary.
So regardless of what your your

737
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,000
crime was, if you get sentenced
to two years in a day, then

738
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:23,280
you're going to the to the is it
called federal penitentiary?

739
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,240
Is it is or I?
Think maybe provincial?

740
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,800
OK, because I don't want to be
in America.

741
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,920
Yeah, in America it's a federal
penitentiary, so I don't.

742
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,920
They probably have the
equivalent of that.

743
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,200
OK.
And they have to.

744
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,160
Commit a No, You would have to
commit a federal crime to to go

745
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,080
to a federal penitentiary.
Yeah.

746
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,480
You go to a state penitentiary
if you commit a state crime.

747
00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:45,120
OK.
And then so your, your fraud

748
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,600
stuff wasn't on a on a federal
level, it was just kind of a

749
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,240
like a local thing.
Yeah.

750
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,240
OK, fraud at that time, luckily
it wasn't as serious.

751
00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:54,840
Now they've like in the last two
years, it's they've amped up,

752
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,680
which is just so ironic.
OK.

753
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,080
So you do your SO when you get
in, when you get into your first

754
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,640
stint in prison and you got six
months in, you're obviously

755
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:03,720
withdrawing all that kind of
stuff.

756
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:05,840
Did you come out of that six
months clean?

757
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,640
Oh, I was on high.
They they they Jack you on high

758
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,160
doses of methadone, right?
OK.

759
00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:13,400
Do you guys have that in the
states?

760
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:14,320
Methadone.
Suboxone.

761
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,120
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.

762
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,040
Yep, Yep.
So like, I knew I didn't want to

763
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,760
get clean.
I was fucking mad and I wanted I

764
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,280
wasn't done yet, you know, like.
I know that feeling.

765
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,600
Yeah, yeah.
Like I'm not fucking going out

766
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,920
this way.
Took me 4 times so.

767
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:31,160
Yeah, I was probably, I was in
like, OK, so then so then like

768
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,920
when like I got little petty
things like getting caught with

769
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,960
identity documents on me, like
boosting.

770
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,200
What's an identity document?
Someone elses drivers license or

771
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:41,600
ID or credit card.
Yeah.

772
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:42,840
Anything that's not in your
name.

773
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,720
There's identity for.
Yeah, yeah, I'm just clarifying

774
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:48,120
for people that don't know.
Sure, right, the Canadian lingo

775
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:50,040
and I'm surprised you haven't
said a yet.

776
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,360
Okay, like what the fuck,
Jeremy?

777
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,120
Yeah, we would have lost our own
bets.

778
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,560
Like we made a bet.
You said why?

779
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,240
Hey.
LA hey, hey.

780
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,080
You know, like I got a friend in
Canada and like all the time

781
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:03,520
when I talk to Paul, he's like,
what's up, eh?

782
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,720
Oh yeah, I.
Don't do that, OK, It's.

783
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,200
All good.
It's all good.

784
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,000
We just like that.
I had this little thing like how

785
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,720
long?
I'm like 2 minutes and he'll say

786
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,200
hey and yeah, I would have.
I would have lost had we bet.

787
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:16,920
Good thing I don't do that.
Sorry about that.

788
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:18,400
It's OK.
It's all good.

789
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:27,840
I can if you want.
But yeah, so like the first

790
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:31,280
couple times I got like I got
arrested, put in city cells,

791
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,600
like they give you bail or the
next day because you're, it's

792
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,040
your first thing.
So I, they kept giving me bail

793
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,160
and then they're like, OK, you
need to show up at court On this

794
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:39,960
date.
And I of course never showed up

795
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:43,520
because I was on the streets and
it was like by the 8th time they

796
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,920
started to be like, all right,
like you're not getting it.

797
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,120
And they start actually
remanding you and then you're

798
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,000
start, your stays get longer at
North Fraser, like a week and

799
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:56,360
then maybe a month and they hope
it gets traction, but I didn't.

800
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,760
How soon was it before the
inmate started telling you what

801
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,960
you were involved in that you
did not know until you got in

802
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,360
there?
The whole time I had, I didn't

803
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,960
know officially, I still was
that stupid.

804
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,920
I had like other like some
friends that I made friends with

805
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,280
there that were like, Jeremy,
you're a idiot, man.

806
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,960
This guy's playing you.
He drives your car when he

807
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,720
wants, He comes over to your
house when he wants you give him

808
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:23,560
money like he's using you.
You're like, get your head out

809
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,320
of your ass.
I was like, no, like, there's no

810
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,600
way.
I like I was such a stupid

811
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,280
idiot.
But you but but but that's the

812
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,520
thing, like you were you were
you were blinded by it, right?

813
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,360
You, this guy, this guy conned
you this whole scenario.

814
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,360
I mean, you're taking this.
Is how these things happen.

815
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:39,440
Right.
Yeah, it's.

816
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,040
The most powerful deception
tools get them in love with you.

817
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,360
Right.
It's like, wow, the sociopaths,

818
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:45,880
right?
The sociopaths are one that can

819
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,560
manipulate any situation and
especially the Narcissus like

820
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,080
you talked about.
Definitely a dark personality.

821
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:51,840
There's a book out about dark
personalities.

822
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,560
I don't know if you've ever ever
we should be about if you've

823
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,560
ever read that, but it's a
really good book to read because

824
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,760
it kind of helps you understand
the people you deal with on a

825
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,280
day-to-day basis because it it
it helps me anyway, because I

826
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:03,480
deal with a lot of people all
the time.

827
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,760
So it kind of like, Oh, that's
who that person is.

828
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,440
That's why he acts that way
because he's that narcissistic

829
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,880
and he's this he's a vampire.
He wants to suck everything out

830
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:15,120
of out of the relationship to
for to for his benefit.

831
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,960
And then once that's gone, it's
like, I'm out.

832
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,800
So it kind of sounds like both
of your, your love interest.

833
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,320
Unfortunately we're we're, you
know, dark personality vampire

834
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,840
type people that were bleeding
you dry for lack of a better

835
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:31,440
term.
And we just read that statistic

836
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,880
the other day that said there
there's only 20% of the

837
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,400
population that's capable of
critical thinking.

838
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,680
So it's real easy to see how
people get wrapped up in things.

839
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:41,840
Absolutely.
Sometimes you don't learn how to

840
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,600
be a critical thinker until
something like this happens to

841
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,120
you, right?
Yeah, well, in my mind, like I,

842
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,760
I have a good relationship with
my mom and I would call her and

843
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,680
I, you know, I caught him
cheating and I'd call her

844
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,600
bawling, devastated and stuff.
Like I'm not a stupid man.

845
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:56,360
And that, that's the other
thing.

846
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:57,960
I.
Had to make up conversations

847
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,360
with my mother.
Yeah, like my.

848
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,880
Mom is like, what are you doing?
And I had like camera footage of

849
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,080
him.
Like even like who has access to

850
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:07,440
your safe?
Well, only heated.

851
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:08,800
So who do you think took the
money?

852
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,240
Like come on.
And I'd be like.

853
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,640
So we're again, we're talking
with jimmycrossjimmycross.ca.

854
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,680
He's got a book out called
Finding My Lost Life, The fall

855
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,560
to addiction and the rise to
recovery.

856
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,240
Very interesting story so far.
Don't forget to find us online,

857
00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,600
Instagram, Facebook, YouTube,
drop a review, give us a follow

858
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,120
on all platforms and you can
listen to guests like this over

859
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:32,680
and over again.
We're also on Spotify, Apple

860
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,280
podcast, all those fun little
platforms.

861
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,400
So let's kind of just like, like
what we've talked about in a

862
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:39,760
nutshell real quick and then
we'll continue.

863
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,560
So you, you're in Canada, you
moved to Vancouver to kind of,

864
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,320
you know, big city life type
thing.

865
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,280
You met this guy.
It's it's like that's it.

866
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,800
He's my end all, everything.
The sun rises and sets with him.

867
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,400
He ends up getting you turned on
the drugs and shit, which in

868
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,320
your life kind of starts
crumbling, falling apart.

869
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,960
Yeah, yeah, kind of ended up
ended up getting away from him

870
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:02,400
and meet this other guy who
basically sought you out as as

871
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:06,000
you're he's a he's a stalk, not
a stalker, but he's, you know,

872
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,880
he you're a mark, like you said,
right?

873
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,520
And and so then he takes you
down this horrific path and

874
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,000
actually turns you into the
police.

875
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,880
It's a whole Netflix documentary
scene that's going to be epic

876
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,800
when it gets filmed.
You know, I'm thinking like, you

877
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,760
know, you know, I don't have so
many badass needs to do this

878
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,400
shit.
You know, just make a big like

879
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,080
Miami Vice type thing, right?
That's the dream.

880
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,360
Right.
And we can Mike and I can be the

881
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,120
extras, dude.
I can, I can totally act.

882
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,920
I've been in all kinds of plays
and shit movies.

883
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,560
So, you know, we can be extras
in the bar.

884
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,200
We'll be the band in the bar one
night that you come into the bar

885
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,160
with the guy and you know we'll
be rocking on the stage.

886
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:43,360
And then you spent six months in
in what we're going to equate in

887
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,080
America is like a county, a
county jail, not a prison type

888
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,120
thing.
You get out of there and and

889
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:51,520
you're picking up the pieces.
But even you're still, you're

890
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,720
still mad, you're still angry,
you're still getting high.

891
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,680
That kind of didn't, didn't sway
you at all.

892
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,960
So you're still kind of going
down this dark lifestyle.

893
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:01,360
Well, and I was devastated and
then fentanyl, I trauma bonded

894
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,960
with fentanyl at that point,
like it was, it was my crutch.

895
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,760
Like I was so broken and lost
that I'd like needed the

896
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:12,600
fentanyl to like to get through
the day because I, it was my

897
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,400
suppression tool.
It was my. 100% man.

898
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,760
Yeah, like I needed it.
I didn't want to lock eyes with

899
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,680
the past.
I didn't want to lock eyes with

900
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:21,800
the reality.
Yeah.

901
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:26,880
And I felt stupid and abused and
guilty and, and I was killing my

902
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,800
family.
My mum was devastated.

903
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,280
I disappeared.
Like I, I, it was such a big

904
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,560
ball.
I was on the, I was frigging

905
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,120
homeless.
Like, yeah, how did I get?

906
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,400
I'm living on the street, I'm
sleeping on buses and sky

907
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,040
trains.
I'm getting fucking attacked.

908
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,960
I'm getting kidnapped and held
at gunpoint.

909
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,880
I'm in SRO's which are
government funded buildings that

910
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,000
have rats and people getting
killed.

911
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:53,360
Like how am I here?
And all this is in the book.

912
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,040
Yeah, OK.
Because the, the kidnapping

913
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,480
gunpoint stuff's in the book.
Yeah, right on.

914
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,360
See this, This can be a fucking
great read.

915
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,680
Not, I mean, I'm not making
light of the situation, but I,

916
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,520
I, so I have personal experience
with addiction, not only for my

917
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,400
alcoholism, but I had something
in the family who was addicted

918
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,760
to heroin and meth.
And I, I kind of kept yeah.

919
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,080
And I kind of kept saying, hey,
you need to write your story

920
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:17,960
because my connection was, was
it was a younger person in my

921
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,720
family like you just, you need
to write this from the

922
00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:23,800
standpoint of how old you are
when it started because the

923
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,800
education you can provide to, to
future parents of understanding.

924
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:32,200
Dude, when we, when we, when we
discovered it was so easy to get

925
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:33,960
heroin.
You get 20 bucks, you got black

926
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:35,760
tar heroin.
I mean, and I'm talking.

927
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,200
It still is.
Probably easier, right, a nice

928
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:43,160
suburban neighborhood, you know,
just you did the furthest thing

929
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,800
you would have thought of.
And I dropped this video and

930
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:49,080
last I saw it, it was like, you
know, 120 some odd thousand

931
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,680
things on Facebook Live and I
would have random people come up

932
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:53,360
to me and just Oh my God, you're
that guy.

933
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,160
Thank you so much.
You made me have a conversation.

934
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,920
My son or my daughter, you woke
us up.

935
00:43:58,240 --> 00:44:01,800
So what you're doing, I
absolutely 100% applaud you,

936
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,040
especially because where you
want to go with it and just take

937
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,920
it to the level where
everybody's being educated and

938
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,120
learning from your experience,
which again, finding my lost

939
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,680
life, the fall to addiction and
the rise to recovery.

940
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:16,040
The, the, the like Mike talked
about earlier and everybody

941
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,080
that's listening to just Google
it right now because you're

942
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:21,040
going to be blown away because
it is a picture tells 1000.

943
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,040
A picture is worth 1000 miles on
words, right?

944
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,640
Is that what's that the word?
Is that the saying that's it?

945
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:28,360
And and looking at looking at
this, I mean, you're ripped.

946
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,400
You got a six pack, you're in
great shape.

947
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,560
You got some biceps triceps.
You look like you're fucking cut

948
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:36,680
like an athlete.
Yet you have this entire

949
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,880
darkness around you that that if
you look at that, nobody would

950
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,720
expect it.
Yeah, like even I like, I put a

951
00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:44,680
filter on.
I created the cover of the book

952
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:47,040
and I put a filter that covered
my eyes and stuff.

953
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,800
Like it was dark and mysterious.
I like it because.

954
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:51,720
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.

955
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:53,920
It's been a lot of mixed reviews
on.

956
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,240
That.
But black and white, black and

957
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:58,520
white is such dramatic on its
own.

958
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,840
And then when you have the
context of what the books about,

959
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:05,120
that's just, I mean, to me that
would make me, if I'm walking in

960
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,080
the store and it's in a, you
know, you can see it.

961
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:10,360
I picked it up and turn it over
and read the Backpage just back

962
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:11,560
of the books just to see what
that's about.

963
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,800
Because you.
Know well true stories are a big

964
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,760
thing right now.
Everyone loves a true story.

965
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,040
Your Backpage is very well
written too.

966
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:22,120
It would make me want to buy the
book had you not been coming on

967
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:23,880
here.
You know, had he just said, hey,

968
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:25,200
you should probably check this
guy out.

969
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,640
I I would have bought the book
for.

970
00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:27,360
Sure.
Yeah, cool.

971
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,600
I appreciate that.
And took to comment on the the

972
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,120
parents thing.
So what I'm really passionate

973
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:35,760
about now in my life and the
work I'm doing, I've been a

974
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,200
public speaker at a group,
Parents Forever that had over

975
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:42,880
300 parents and I just did like
4 hours of questions and answers

976
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:44,640
because of what I put my mum
through.

977
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,680
And of course we were uneducated
too.

978
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,200
She was like holy fuck, do do I
go kidnap him?

979
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,440
Do I go just like, force him
somewhere?

980
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:52,600
If I had the.
Money.

981
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,880
Or is this my yeah?
Is this my fault?

982
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,320
Like, what the fuck do I do?
And I wanted like, I want to

983
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,320
take that cause a lot of like I
even I did a book signing to

984
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:05,000
launch at chapters Indigo and I
had parents, mums that came up

985
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:08,800
to get my book signed and they
had lost kids to addiction.

986
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,000
Yeah, and they just disappeared.
And so I that's my other thing,

987
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,120
like if to to unburden them to
be like, you could have done

988
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,360
nothing.
It's up to the addict that they

989
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:21,120
need to break the change and go
to chains, you know, from chains

990
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:22,640
to change.
That's you.

991
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,200
You couldn't have done anything
more.

992
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:25,960
That was and a lot of them don't
get.

993
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,400
That was to be able to have that
moment with my mom, for sure.

994
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,440
There's probably nothing more
important in my life other than

995
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:35,760
being alive than to be able to
have that moment and, you know,

996
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,960
just look her in the eyes and
say you didn't do anything.

997
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,560
Yeah, it killed me.
She'd come and visit me all the

998
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,480
time in jail and I fucking like
I'm just there's.

999
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,520
I will never forget.
And I write about her in the

1000
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,760
book a lot.
Like she, she was so

1001
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,200
instrumental.
Like she, you know, I always was

1002
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,040
able to call her, I'd call her
from random businesses anytime.

1003
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,840
Like I, she would order Panago
pizza at the nearest Vancouver

1004
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,280
location.
I could go pick it up.

1005
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,520
I, I know I put her through how
I called her starving and

1006
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,880
freezing on the streets.
And like she knew it this time,

1007
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,320
there's nothing she could do.
And I knew it fucking just

1008
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:12,120
crippled her and I had a lot of
proud guilt and shame with that.

1009
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,240
But you know, the best thing
she's ever said to me was I

1010
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,840
fucking love you so much.
I'll never leave you.

1011
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:21,440
But while you're living this
life like, and this is my other

1012
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,120
thing, put me on healthy
boundaries.

1013
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:25,560
Like, you know, if you have a
loved 1 going through addiction,

1014
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,720
you know you're going to bring
yourself down with them.

1015
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:31,080
It's it's better to have healthy
boundaries.

1016
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:32,800
Never tell them you'll never
leave them.

1017
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,480
And the minute you want help,
I'll come flying in.

1018
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,880
But until then, if you're going
to go down this road, have to

1019
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,560
love you from afar.
I think that's because message

1020
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,560
that you made abundantly clear
through your Facebook campaign

1021
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,360
that I remember hearing from
you, Chris.

1022
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:48,520
Oh yeah.
Oh, and that's that's the

1023
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,760
biggest thing that we.
That was very well said, Jeremy,

1024
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:52,720
and that's super important for
parents to hear.

1025
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:57,200
We, we, my wife and I, we both,
we both realized that that the

1026
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:59,600
the person I referenced earlier,
it wasn't our fault.

1027
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:03,640
Like, like, like my approach to
sobriety and alcoholism when I,

1028
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,040
when I finally had to wake up
calling and then, you know, woke

1029
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:07,840
up the next morning, Oh, shit,
something's got to change,

1030
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:08,960
right?
And then two days later is when

1031
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:12,280
I started my a, a journey.
My first meeting at a a was, you

1032
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,360
know, everybody's like, oh, by
the grace of God and you know,

1033
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:15,440
the higher power, things like
that.

1034
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:19,600
And I was like, you know, God
didn't make me drink.

1035
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:22,800
God's not going to make me stop.
God didn't put that beer in my

1036
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,960
hand and that shot of Jack and
say, Hey, Chris, don't just have

1037
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:28,200
one half 20 beers and don't just
have one shot half 5, right?

1038
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,680
I, this, this is me.
I'm responsible for my own.

1039
00:48:32,240 --> 00:48:35,400
I think that's also a super
important message for people to

1040
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,720
hear, and I love when you say
that because that truer words

1041
00:48:38,720 --> 00:48:41,240
couldn't be spoken.
We all three live the same

1042
00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:43,120
thing.
We made the choice to do

1043
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:46,320
everything we did and we had to
make the choice to save

1044
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,240
ourselves as well.
Right, because.

1045
00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:50,120
We all know.
We all know from addict and an

1046
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,520
addict standpoint.
I can tell you, Jeremy, you're

1047
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:54,040
an addict all day long.
You're going to tell me.

1048
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:55,120
Fuck off, Chris.
I'm not.

1049
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:56,760
I don't have a problem.
I'm good, man.

1050
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:59,600
My wife was a bartender, right
at two different bars.

1051
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:02,040
I wouldn't listen to her when
she told me I had a problem.

1052
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:03,840
I don't have a problem.
You know what you're talking

1053
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,240
about.
I can handle my beer just fine,

1054
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:06,200
right?
I can handle my booze.

1055
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:08,640
I'm good, I'm good.
Meanwhile, I'm adding water to

1056
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:10,960
the Skydbach in the outside
freezer so she doesn't realize

1057
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,080
I'm, I'm, I'm sucking, you know,
off the bottle.

1058
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,600
And then you have a party and
half the bottle's frozen like,

1059
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,000
well, I don't know how that
happened because I'm sitting in

1060
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,640
the bottle, right.
So it's the, it's the ignorance

1061
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,960
and it's, it's the lies you tell
yourself as an addict that I

1062
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,240
don't have a problem.
I don't have a problem.

1063
00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:28,600
And then like, like you can
equate to and Mike can and so

1064
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,840
can I either.
Once you get clean and once

1065
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:33,040
you're you're cleaning your life
up, then all of a sudden you get

1066
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,480
the guilt coming back, right?
You get the shame coming back

1067
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:38,400
and then it's then you got to
live with all that shit, you got

1068
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,480
to work through all that stuff,
which I'm sure the book itself

1069
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:44,280
is very cathartic for you and
very therapeutic for you to get

1070
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,640
through your entire journey from
there to now.

1071
00:49:46,720 --> 00:49:50,360
Logically, right, yeah, no, it
was a great Step 4 to 6 like

1072
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,480
admitting to your wrongs and
wrongdoings and personal

1073
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:55,840
inventory to you to someone else
like I did that globally and

1074
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,960
like, yeah, like I can't press
how important that you know I'm,

1075
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,800
I'm someone who's in a A and NA
I also work at a recovery center

1076
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,720
and I, I'm a certified peer
support worker now and I work

1077
00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:09,080
with other families and addicts
and yeah no, it's important you

1078
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,520
have to make the change.
I mean when it comes.

1079
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:14,600
I get a lot of people like the
whole even for me I had

1080
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:17,440
reservations with the whole God
word like that was big for me

1081
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:21,280
yeah but as you read the big
book, you know, like when you

1082
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,480
actually read the the 1st 4
testaments and stuff like that,

1083
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,320
like the God that they talk
about in the book isn't the big

1084
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:30,160
guy in the clouds.
It's your higher power, your

1085
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,160
spirituality, your
universalness.

1086
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:36,720
And like I, luckily I got the
gift of desperation the final

1087
00:50:36,720 --> 00:50:38,640
time.
My my aha moment.

1088
00:50:38,720 --> 00:50:41,040
You would think, well, I mean I
should have hit it so many

1089
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,200
times.
But my final one Moments, dude.

1090
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,480
Yeah, was my last this last time
in jail and my mom would always

1091
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,920
come see me in jail and she was
getting a little bit older and

1092
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:54,760
like I I like I had joined Bible
study in a a because I had the

1093
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,800
gift of desperation where I
can't fucking do this anymore.

1094
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,800
You know, like the attic mind.
The last four years I've been in

1095
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:02,680
a jail, I'm like, oh, maybe if I
do it this.

1096
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,440
Way.
Yeah, I love that term.

1097
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,240
Which term for desperation?
It's such a gift.

1098
00:51:08,240 --> 00:51:10,000
Yeah.
Like as I was fucking on my

1099
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,920
knees, like I cannot do this
anymore.

1100
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,800
I thought every time I would
tell myself I can, and maybe if

1101
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,120
I don't do this or I don't
associate with this guy or I

1102
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,720
only do both in this area or
like in that attic mind, right

1103
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:22,920
when I finally was like, I can't
do this.

1104
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:26,000
I need another solution.
And I that's when I read the big

1105
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:27,640
book.
It really resonated with me.

1106
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:30,600
And I found my I had that
psychic moral change and I had

1107
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:34,160
my higher power come in and I
was able to do the work because

1108
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:40,520
I, I understood no human power.
Jimmy Cross, Asian Jimmy Cross.

1109
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:44,400
That's your Tobias book.
Finding my lost life, A fall,

1110
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,640
the fall to addiction and the
rise to recovery.

1111
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:48,880
Dude, your story's fascinating.
I love it.

1112
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,240
I love it.
So let's let's let's because I

1113
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:52,960
don't want to give away all the
I don't want to give away all

1114
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:54,840
the book stuff, right?
Because I want I want people to

1115
00:51:54,840 --> 00:52:00,640
go read your book because you
OK, so you're you're out after

1116
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,280
your six month thing.
Did you did you end up going

1117
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:03,400
back?
Did you end up getting

1118
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,840
incarcerated again time?
Okay, so that.

1119
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,760
Yeah, because then you get on
probation and yeah, I wasn't

1120
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,960
showing up.
Okay, so walk us through that.

1121
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,280
So you're out, you're living on
the streets, the chaos is still

1122
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:15,680
going on your life.
And then what's?

1123
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,960
What's the next thing that leads
to be incarcerated for a second

1124
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,560
time?
So like I got a two year

1125
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,640
probation order after that and
like I you know, you don't have

1126
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,920
a phone, you're homeless now,
OK, Right.

1127
00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:28,480
You know, you're not showing,
you're not meeting your

1128
00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:32,160
probation officer every month or
every two weeks, I think.

1129
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:36,480
And as soon as you miss a month
worth, you get an instant bench

1130
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,800
warrant.
OK, in Canada and.

1131
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:40,240
Bench and bench warrants are the
same.

1132
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,240
Canada, United States.
Yeah, boom.

1133
00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:45,440
It's your.
Your face is on all the police.

1134
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:46,600
Yeah, you're wanted.
Yeah, yeah.

1135
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:50,800
Yeah, so and people at this
point now the fraud squad knew

1136
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,920
who I was.
You know, I was getting at this

1137
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:56,760
point, I now knew how to do
fraud and then I couldn't

1138
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:00,120
obviously escort because I was
on fentanyl so and everything.

1139
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:01,840
But for me, like, it was
interesting.

1140
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,160
I would say probably a really
good, probably be really good

1141
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:06,040
decision not not escorting
anymore.

1142
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:10,480
I'm just saying yes, just.
Saying, yeah, ironically, I have

1143
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,760
to say I was pretty surprised.
Like I, I don't know if I was

1144
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,440
different because I've always
wanted to help people.

1145
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,520
But like when I had clients,
like I had, I had great little

1146
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,200
mini relationships with them
because I like actually talked

1147
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,520
to them and we like socialize.
It wasn't like it wasn't sex all

1148
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,320
like I barely actually had to
have sex with these people.

1149
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:30,600
They were just like lonely old
men that just wanted somebody to

1150
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:31,320
talk to.
Yeah.

1151
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,240
I could you come across as
somebody like that that's very,

1152
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,160
very giving and very you got
some.

1153
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,120
Easy to talk to for.
Sure, you got a you got a really

1154
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,640
good presence, so I appreciate
that I could I mean, because we

1155
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:43,520
don't know you from Adam.
This is the first time we've

1156
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,520
ever met you.
I mean, literally you, we

1157
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:49,360
messaged what last night, I
think, and, and here we are, you

1158
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:50,800
know.
That's the cool thing about

1159
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:54,000
doing this, man.
It's just to hear these, like, I

1160
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,440
didn't know that I was going to
hear this story 10 hours ago

1161
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,600
when I went to work.
It's fascinating, it really.

1162
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:00,040
Is I mentioned I hit you, but I
got a guy.

1163
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:01,680
Yeah.
It's awesome.

1164
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:03,760
And then I read the back of your
book and I'm like, oh, now I

1165
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,040
really want to talk to him.
That's.

1166
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:07,200
Awesome.
And see, I like, I like going in

1167
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:11,120
blind because then I learn as I
go and then that that entices me

1168
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,280
to want to do more.
So you know that.

1169
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:14,720
It is fun.
Yeah, sure.

1170
00:54:14,720 --> 00:54:17,040
Because, because I like to throw
the softballs and learn.

1171
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:20,360
Because then you have the real
reaction from me and and from

1172
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,200
Mike, really.
It's organic, yeah.

1173
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:23,640
Yeah, because we don't.
We're not.

1174
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,720
We do this because we like the
human interests of life.

1175
00:54:26,720 --> 00:54:29,760
We like helping champion
recovery.

1176
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:33,240
We had a guy on that that that I
knew his sister since I was six

1177
00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:35,600
years old, that his first joint
was at six years old, man.

1178
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,640
Right, He grew up with parents
that were.

1179
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:42,360
Happy, yeah, six years old.
And so his story was just

1180
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:45,440
fascinating.
Just, and I never even I do a

1181
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:48,320
piece of it.
And then for him to just just,

1182
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,880
you know, for lack of better
term, just throw up everything

1183
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,440
in our, in our 60 minute show
because he did it while I was on

1184
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:56,200
lunch.
Mind boggling, man.

1185
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:58,720
My, I mean, six.
I'm like my grandson's 5 1/2

1186
00:54:58,720 --> 00:55:00,360
years old.
I can't imagine a little man

1187
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,960
smoking a joint.
Yeah, that's when it puts it

1188
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,000
into perspective, is when you're
like, we're 20 years older than

1189
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,200
you.
So he has Chris has a grandson

1190
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:11,520
that's almost the same age as
when this guy smoked his joint.

1191
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,040
Yeah, it's wild.
Well, and that's also a big

1192
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:15,720
message in my book.
Like, you know, addiction

1193
00:55:15,720 --> 00:55:17,600
doesn't discriminate.
I didn't have addiction

1194
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,960
problems.
My parents are not addicts and

1195
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:23,600
fucking took me like a disease
that, you know, like I was gone.

1196
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:25,120
Didn't matter what I I was
taught.

1197
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,000
Same for me, man.
I grew up in a very similar

1198
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,480
household to you where, you
know, that didn't happen in my

1199
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,280
house.
My parents weren't Alcoholics.

1200
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:34,200
They weren't drug addicts.
They went to work every day.

1201
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,560
Like, you know, what society
would consider normal human

1202
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:39,720
beings.
So that's a great message, too.

1203
00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:41,800
It doesn't discriminate.
Yeah.

1204
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,920
And, you know, we're all one
circumstance away from, you

1205
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:47,520
know, making people before
judging, like hear the story.

1206
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:50,960
You know, I've met many people
that you know, you have no idea

1207
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:53,080
how you'd handle that
circumstance when you leave your

1208
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:55,800
mom, your dad, or you get your
fucking whole life turned upside

1209
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:57,280
down.
You have no idea.

1210
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,000
You don't.
And I think that's important.

1211
00:56:00,240 --> 00:56:03,400
Also a big message in my book,
like I have a couple messages

1212
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,920
and that's a really big one too.
And also, like, you know,

1213
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:11,400
there's no, at my time, there
was no like book or rule book or

1214
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:14,720
mentor to teach me how to
survive on the streets and be an

1215
00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:18,360
addict.
And also even what peer support

1216
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:22,160
was like, I never had like, that
just started being big here in

1217
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,520
the last two years of certified
peer support.

1218
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:25,600
Yeah.
It was not a thing.

1219
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:29,680
And now we have Fraser Health,
Coast, Vancouver, Coastal

1220
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:33,320
Health, like all these big
companies are now seeing how

1221
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,160
valuable because even when I was
in addiction and I wasn't, you

1222
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:39,040
know, I went through getting
disability and like you get like

1223
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,480
these professionals and I'd get
like a counselor in front of me

1224
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,560
that's an addictions counselor
that's never been an addict.

1225
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:44,240
I was like.
Thank you.

1226
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:46,640
We talked about that too with
like.

1227
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,000
It's like having a it's like
having a marriage counselor

1228
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,920
that's never been married.
Thank you.

1229
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,520
What?
You just proved our point from

1230
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:57,080
like the episode he was talking
about, you know, with the guy.

1231
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:58,480
Yeah, I was like, get out of
here.

1232
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:01,000
You can't possibly understand.
Brilliant.

1233
00:57:02,240 --> 00:57:04,680
Yeah.
Amazing, amazing.

1234
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:06,680
Again, it's Jeremy Cross
jeremycross.ca.

1235
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:09,760
Go find his book finding my
life, my lost life, the fall of

1236
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:11,560
to addiction and the rise to
recovery.

1237
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:15,360
So we're about an hour into this
little episode here today, which

1238
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,440
is fascinating.
By the way, don't forget boys

1239
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:19,560
and girls follow us on
Instagram, Facebook, YouTube

1240
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:22,240
dropper, if you give us a follow
on all platforms and coming

1241
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,480
soon, the Chris and mikeshow.com
don't go there.

1242
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:27,720
Don't go there now because
Godaddy's just parking that

1243
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:29,120
shit.
So.

1244
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:31,600
So how many times were you
complete?

1245
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,480
How many times were you
incarcerated total?

1246
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:39,000
Like remanded or like just
arrested in general?

1247
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:42,760
Well, what's what's remanded in
your world is remanded being in

1248
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,880
cars in like in the lockdown
facility.

1249
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:47,800
Yeah, it's like if you go, when
you get arrested, you go to city

1250
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:50,440
cells, get processed, held
overnight, and then you see a

1251
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:53,560
judge at there and they decide
if they'll let you out or that

1252
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:54,960
you're going to be remanded.
Well, you.

1253
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,520
Can you, can you can give us all
of them, You can give us a total

1254
00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:58,520
of both that's.
Fine.

1255
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,120
I don't have like the exact
totals, but I can tell you I've

1256
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:06,440
been to city cells probably 15
or 16 times.

1257
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:10,920
I've been remanded 3 or 4.
And this was in the in the span

1258
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:14,120
of seven years.
You know, a span of 4/20/20 is

1259
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:17,160
when I started getting in
trouble and a lot of it was just

1260
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:21,680
like, a lot of it was just
violating probation.

1261
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:24,720
So like when I got out of jail
for that stunt and then I was

1262
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,400
like, had conditions, right?
Wasn't allowed to have identity

1263
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,480
documents, needed to report to
my probation.

1264
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,280
And I just kept, I never did any
of them.

1265
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,720
So it was a warrant, a warrant.
And I kept getting arrested,

1266
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:36,640
arrested, arrested.
So it wasn't necessarily that I

1267
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,200
was like I didn't getting caught
doing all this crime.

1268
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,080
Like it was just a reoffend.
Reoffend like with these

1269
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:43,240
conditions.
Yeah, OK.

1270
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:47,640
So let's let's let's take it to
this point of your life.

1271
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:50,160
I want to know what the the the
piece was.

1272
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:53,760
It turns you the the epiphany.
Like what is it that that you

1273
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:55,960
woke up one day?
It was like, you know, this is

1274
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:58,640
it.
This is my sign from, you know,

1275
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,200
whatever you want to call it.
I need to, I need to turn my

1276
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,120
life around or else I'm going to
die.

1277
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:06,320
What was that moment?
That was this last time in jail.

1278
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:08,640
My, my sister is a spiritual
healer too.

1279
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:11,720
And she's the one we were going
back and forth in jail via male.

1280
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:13,560
And she said, you know, you
should just write your story

1281
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:16,120
chronologically.
And like, back when this shit

1282
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:19,760
was going down and then terrible
things would happen, I would

1283
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:21,520
always in my head be like, I'm
going to fucking write about

1284
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,920
this one day if I can ever get
out of this thing alive.

1285
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:27,280
So that was a seed I planted.
And then my sister said like

1286
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:29,560
just for therapeutic reasons and
like, you know, chronologically

1287
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,520
get it out.
And I also wanted to do an

1288
00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:34,720
amends to my whole family, you
know, explaining all the words

1289
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:37,200
that have gone left unsaid
because they didn't know any of

1290
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,080
the shit that was going on.
They couldn't understand.

1291
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,320
They thought it was a choice.
It didn't make sense, right.

1292
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:46,240
So this I wrote them a 32 page
for men's letter on top of doing

1293
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:50,600
and I started writing my book
and then the epiphany like I

1294
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,360
joined the Bible study and there
was like 50 year old men, 60

1295
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:55,800
year old men that were like no
family.

1296
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:58,160
They give them their whole life
to fentanyl and I'm like, that's

1297
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,280
gonna be me if I don't get my
shit together.

1298
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:02,560
Like I I'm gonna talk and die in
here.

1299
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,080
And that was why you and that's
why you incarcerated.

1300
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,040
Yeah, and then my mom was
getting older.

1301
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:09,240
I she'd visit me and I'm like,
my little brothers have

1302
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,240
graduated.
Like I'm fucking missing

1303
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:11,840
everything.
You're.

1304
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:13,240
Missing life events?
Yeah, OK.

1305
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:15,480
Because like, when you're down
there, you're in a time warp.

1306
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,400
You have no conception of time
or the date.

1307
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:19,320
I didn't know what fucking day
of the week it was like.

1308
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,000
But then when I get arrested, it
was like this reality check that

1309
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:23,720
life has been going on around.
Yeah.

1310
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:27,000
And I'm missing everything and.
That's amazing though, because

1311
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,920
how many people did you see
around you that didn't even they

1312
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:32,520
didn't even look at that side of
it?

1313
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:35,040
Like that's going to be me.
That were your age.

1314
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:37,000
They were just going to
continually live the same

1315
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,520
lifestyle, right?
Good on you for seeing, hey,

1316
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,120
that old man over there in the
corner.

1317
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,920
That's going to be me.
Not everybody has that.

1318
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,920
Yeah, You can't look past the
end of your face, you know,

1319
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:49,720
correct.
Especially with an addict.

1320
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:50,920
Your next thing is how am I
going to get high?

1321
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:52,480
How am I going to get that beer?
Where am I going to get the

1322
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:55,480
money for that, this and that?
You know, Mike, our our friend

1323
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,800
Mike that was on that had the
joint when he was six years old,

1324
01:00:58,360 --> 01:00:59,920
his wake up call was he was in
prison.

1325
01:00:59,920 --> 01:01:02,880
He and he was on the yard and he
saw these, this group of guys

1326
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:07,400
doing yoga and he just that,
that like whatever that was his

1327
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:09,800
moment where he went and, and
and joined them with yoga.

1328
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:12,560
And from that point on, he just,
he's like you, he's turned his

1329
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:14,960
life around.
He's he's helps now with he's a

1330
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:18,360
dictionary recovery counselor.
You know, he's, he's very fit.

1331
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:21,960
He's very focused on spreading
the word and and like we talked

1332
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:24,720
about earlier, when you're an
addict, you want to sit in front

1333
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:27,080
of an addict to give you advice
of how to not be an addict.

1334
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:29,040
There's like you said, there's
no different respect.

1335
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:31,280
There's no dummy's guide to
being an addict.

1336
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:32,560
You know, nobody wrote that
book.

1337
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:34,520
This is I always say survive the
streets.

1338
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:38,320
You know, I always say two
things, man, like you're talking

1339
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,200
to two guys that you can't
bullshit and.

1340
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:45,560
Yeah, yeah.
There, there's always, that's

1341
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:47,840
one thing, like you said it
earlier, that's one thing that

1342
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,520
people just shouldn't talk about
if you haven't been there,

1343
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:52,920
right?
Because you couldn't possibly

1344
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:54,480
have an idea, right?
Yeah.

1345
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,400
Well, the, the two pillars of
peers, getting certified in, in

1346
01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:00,760
peer workers mutuality and
relatability.

1347
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:03,840
OK, which is dead on.
Like I said, I wouldn't, I

1348
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:06,320
wouldn't want a divorce
counselor that's never been

1349
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,200
married.
It just just wouldn't, you can't

1350
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:11,120
get it right, Right.
And, and I had that experience

1351
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:14,000
when I got a transition team
leader and a peer support when I

1352
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:16,880
got out of jail in May.
And I the way I could connect

1353
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:19,560
with him, I'm like, I want that
for somebody.

1354
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,200
I want to be you.
Yeah.

1355
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:24,680
And I went and got certified
right away started.

1356
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,000
I take clients solely.
I work with families.

1357
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:28,760
I do any public speaking I can
do.

1358
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:32,040
I now currently work at a
Together recovery center five

1359
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:34,800
days a week.
I do you want to, you want to

1360
01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:37,120
share the, the, the recovery
center's information?

1361
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:39,920
Because what we do when we're
done with this show, Mike goes

1362
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:41,720
and edits everything down.
We end up having a bunch of

1363
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:44,560
shorts and we can, we can splice
the shorts that we'll send you

1364
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:46,640
the shorts so you can, you can
do what you want with them.

1365
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:48,560
But if you want to give a shout
out to where you work in the

1366
01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:50,720
recovery center, we can make
sure that's one of the shorts.

1367
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:52,160
Yeah, that'd be cool.
Yeah.

1368
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:55,640
The big one I do is my solo peer
support by Jeremy Cross.

1369
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:57,200
You can book with me on my
website.

1370
01:02:57,560 --> 01:03:00,040
You can also contact me.
I get contacted all the time.

1371
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,920
The bottom of my website.
You can ask me any questions

1372
01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:04,640
about anything.
I've been asked by the local

1373
01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:07,000
school district here to go and
talk to kids in school about

1374
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:09,880
addiction.
I'm just trying to do as much as

1375
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:11,520
I can.
You know, I'd like to see it be,

1376
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:14,640
like I said, a docu series
because we're just in such a big

1377
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:19,320
opiate and mental health crisis
and the people hire like this is

1378
01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:22,080
my other thing like and, and the
reform in our system.

1379
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:25,920
Our system is fucking broken.
Like I, I tried to use the

1380
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:29,680
system because I wanted help.
So I was on the street.

1381
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:33,800
I didn't want to do it anymore.
I tried, I went to a government

1382
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:36,480
detox center.
They told me no problem, but you

1383
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:39,400
need to call every day and
you're there's a 3 1/2 week late

1384
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:42,040
list until a bed becomes
available and you can't go to a

1385
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:44,560
recovery center until you have
30 days of detox.

1386
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:47,840
So I was like, cool, so I guess
I'll just go back to the street

1387
01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:49,640
then.
And I don't know what they're

1388
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:51,600
telling you.
Yeah, I don't have a phone.

1389
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:54,160
I can't call you in every day
and tell you I'm serious about

1390
01:03:54,160 --> 01:03:55,920
getting out of here like the
system is.

1391
01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:59,760
And they gotta wonder.
You gotta wonder like, so is

1392
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:02,480
this out of all the resources
and money that we have?

1393
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:04,440
Like, is this like a
premeditated thing?

1394
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:06,840
Like we can make this way
smoother, right?

1395
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,440
And it could be way better by
then.

1396
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:12,000
You got to get like in my book.
I also talk about, you know,

1397
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,840
it's not us homeless junkies on
the street that are getting the

1398
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:18,120
imported drugs from China.
You have to have power,

1399
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:20,360
influence, importation,
deportation.

1400
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:23,400
It's the higher ups.
They need all of us to do the

1401
01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:25,360
drugs.
It all comes down to it's like

1402
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:27,400
the Pharmaceutical industry.
It comes down to the bottom

1403
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:28,240
line.
It's all about money.

1404
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:31,840
They don't make money off
healthy people, so I don't.

1405
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:35,160
That's my big thing too.
I'm advocating, I think the

1406
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:37,360
people that are making the
decisions with policies and the

1407
01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:39,960
government of how to handle
detox and recovery in this drug

1408
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:43,120
crisis have somebody who's
actually been battling in the

1409
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:46,280
trench because you guys are
making decisions for things you

1410
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:50,000
don't understand.
So that's another big thing I'm

1411
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:51,440
doing.
No, but that's that's awesome.

1412
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:54,520
So again, this is Jeremy Cross,
jeremycross.ca, finding my lost

1413
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,840
life to fall to addiction and
the rise to recovery.

1414
01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:58,360
Check him out.
It's online.

1415
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,200
Go buy his book it you're going
to love it just from from the

1416
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:03,480
sheer conversation that we're
having.

1417
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:05,520
How how long is the book?
How many pages?

1418
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:07,920
So people know.
It's 180 pages.

1419
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:09,480
OK.
And it basically starts when

1420
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,200
you're about 25 years old. 24,
yeah.

1421
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:16,120
OK, 24 goes all the way to 31.
Yeah, it's all, it's all these

1422
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:19,840
horrific events.
I I talk about all the all like

1423
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,960
how, if sorry, go ahead.
No, no.

1424
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:23,320
How long has it been out?
When did you publish it?

1425
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,400
November 2024.
It's only been six months.

1426
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:28,640
OK.
So you, so you mentioned earlier

1427
01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:30,760
you made reference that you got
out in May, so you got out in

1428
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:32,600
May of 24.
Yeah.

1429
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:35,600
OK, so you you were, how long
was that last incarceration?

1430
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,320
A month or five months?
I got arrested in January,

1431
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:40,800
released May.
OK, cool.

1432
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:43,080
So then after you got out in
May, then you started putting

1433
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:45,560
all the pieces of your puzzles
together and and.

1434
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:48,600
Digitalized it and then I was
looking at how to publish it.

1435
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:53,560
I ended up self-publishing on
Amazon and which I'm glad I did

1436
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:56,120
because and I had two
professional editors like that.

1437
01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:59,680
I have my old history AP 12
teacher, Miss Wendy Cook.

1438
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,400
She's incredible.
She's a retired Superintendent

1439
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:04,040
now.
She offered to do it.

1440
01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:08,720
And then my best friend Kelsey
had his uncle, same thing, super

1441
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:10,760
Superintendent on the I
Vancouver Island.

1442
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:14,040
He offered and I, you know, I
got approached by different

1443
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:16,520
traditional companies and stuff,
but then they'd send me their

1444
01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:18,640
contracts and like a lot of them
be like, you know,

1445
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:20,480
self-publishing.
You're not, you know, take the

1446
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:23,760
book deal, we'll offer you 10K
and then we'll give you 40%

1447
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:25,520
royalty.
Like take this, you're not going

1448
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:28,160
to get far.
And I'm glad I said no because

1449
01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:33,520
I've already made about 20,000
and I've already gone into like

1450
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:35,960
news articles.
I've been in the local paper.

1451
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:37,360
CTV.
Vancouver.

1452
01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:39,720
That's awesome.
Congratulations.

1453
01:06:39,720 --> 01:06:40,880
By the way, that's.
Awesome.

1454
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:41,960
Yeah.
Thank you so much.

1455
01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:46,520
And I you know, I would, yeah.
I sometimes forget how big of a

1456
01:06:46,520 --> 01:06:48,840
deal like being like I published
a book like.

1457
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:50,680
Well, now you just told your
story.

1458
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:52,360
Think about how far you've come
right now.

1459
01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:54,640
I do that all the time.
Anytime I'm getting down on

1460
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:57,440
myself, I remember how far down
I really was.

1461
01:06:57,440 --> 01:07:00,040
It's like, man, you're, you're
just having a shit day.

1462
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:01,240
You're not.
Your life's not.

1463
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:02,560
Falling apart, right?
Everything.

1464
01:07:02,680 --> 01:07:05,520
'S OK.
And, and, and as you become a

1465
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:07,640
listener to our show, you'll
hear that every time we wrap the

1466
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:09,600
show up, we talk about, you
know, don't let the bad days

1467
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:11,440
win.
You know, Somebody Loves You.

1468
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:12,880
Somebody wants to see you the
next day.

1469
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:15,640
You know, you're going to, you
know, today's just a day.

1470
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:18,680
Don't let this day you know be
the end result of your entire

1471
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:21,600
life, because that sucks.
Yeah, 100%.

1472
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:24,840
It's been, you know, I'm, I'm so
proud of myself and I know I

1473
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:28,080
help other people and I, I tell
it gets beautiful up here.

1474
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:30,440
It's a battle to get in
recovery, you know, but it's

1475
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:32,520
better at least when you're
battling addiction, it gets

1476
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:34,320
darker.
If you're battling in recovery,

1477
01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:36,760
it gets brighter.
So, and it's beautiful from up

1478
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:38,640
here where I am.
And I, I just want to help

1479
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:41,880
people get to where I am and be
that, that tangible evidence

1480
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:44,840
like I have before and after
photos of me like in, in my

1481
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:48,040
book, like when I was 80 lbs,
like just skin and bone.

1482
01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:51,520
And then there's me now.
Like to be that beacon of hope,

1483
01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:53,840
like, listen, I was on the
street, I was hopeless, I was

1484
01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:55,800
helpless.
I've accepted the fact I'd die

1485
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:59,320
like I have been where you are.
And I'm telling you there is a

1486
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:03,040
way to get out if you if you
want to will, if you seek, it'll

1487
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:05,000
be sought like and I'll help
you.

1488
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:07,640
There's tons of people out there
that will want to give you what

1489
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:11,000
we have and show you the way.
You just have to have that

1490
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:13,440
courage and bravery and you know
it's, it's possible.

1491
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,400
Yeah.
Now the picture on the book is,

1492
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:19,040
was that back when you were that
when you're before you started

1493
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:20,920
your whole chaos or is this a
recent photo?

1494
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:23,319
On the front of the book, Yeah,
yeah.

1495
01:08:23,319 --> 01:08:27,520
No, that was after the first guy
and I was lived alone escorting.

1496
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:29,680
OK, OK.
So I just want to put

1497
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:34,560
perspective on that.
So like this, this picture, That

1498
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:37,120
one is when I got out of jail.
OK, OK, cool.

1499
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,760
Yeah.
And I have lots on my website.

1500
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:43,600
I have lots of photos of me now.
And yeah, my readers.

1501
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:44,720
And stuff.
And yeah.

1502
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,560
And is Jeremy Cross's with us?
Is jeremycross.ca.

1503
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:51,080
It's finding my lost life, the
fall to addiction and the rise

1504
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:53,000
to recovery.
This is the Christian Mike show.

1505
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:53,720
He's Chris.
I'm Mike.

1506
01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:55,319
He's Jeremy.
So what do you want to let's,

1507
01:08:55,319 --> 01:08:58,640
let's, let's leave our listeners
with something that you, you

1508
01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:00,319
know, what would you, what would
you if you had a room?

1509
01:09:00,319 --> 01:09:01,560
Because you've done this all the
time.

1510
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:04,520
So you have a room of, you know,
of, of addicts who are just

1511
01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:06,479
like, yeah, fuck off, I don't
have a problem.

1512
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:08,800
What would you say to them?
Let's wrap the show up like

1513
01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:10,800
that?
You're you're, you're what, what

1514
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:13,000
is the message you would want to
share with somebody that doesn't

1515
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:17,439
think there's any hope and their
entire life is just staring down

1516
01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:21,200
the barrel of a per real
peripheral shotgun because they

1517
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:23,439
keep shooting up every day and
they're they're homeless,

1518
01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:25,680
they're hopeless, they have
nowhere to go.

1519
01:09:25,680 --> 01:09:28,160
They they feel completely
distraught and despair.

1520
01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:31,520
What would you tell them?
It's interesting that you say

1521
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:33,680
that.
I had, I had a old friend of

1522
01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:36,080
mine, a a young, she's 24 years
old.

1523
01:09:36,439 --> 01:09:41,040
She's an alcoholic addict.
She's tried to take her life

1524
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:44,200
within the last week and this
just was brought to my

1525
01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:46,359
attention.
I was called by the family who I

1526
01:09:46,359 --> 01:09:49,720
went to school with and they
know what I do to try to host

1527
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:52,279
intervention.
And I literally just had this

1528
01:09:52,279 --> 01:09:56,120
conversation with my that girl
on the phone after she was

1529
01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:59,680
hospitalized.
And I said, I said to her, and I

1530
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:02,800
would say to anybody like that
you just said, you know, I would

1531
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:05,800
be like, I, I get it.
Like I didn't want to be here.

1532
01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:07,920
I was hopeless.
I didn't think I'd get out.

1533
01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:11,920
I didn't want to get out because
I was, I could not fathom, you

1534
01:10:11,920 --> 01:10:15,640
know, even the start of the
healing process to have to lock

1535
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:18,040
eyes.
Yeah.

1536
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:30,800
Then don't give in to this
addiction don't give addiction

1537
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:33,240
your life like you're fucking
stronger than that you're better

1538
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,920
than that there like I said that
it's beauty.

1539
01:10:35,920 --> 01:10:39,600
I was there I was looking down
the shotgun of a barrel to like

1540
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:43,280
I I get it, but it's beautiful
from up here, you know and I I

1541
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:46,440
want that for you.
It's possible, you know, like,

1542
01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:49,440
just like let me let me help
you, let people that have been

1543
01:10:49,440 --> 01:10:52,080
there help you and don't, don't
give in to this disease.

1544
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:55,600
Like, you know, right now you're
also what you know, I'd said to

1545
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:58,520
her what in a we learned this,
you know what, what this disease

1546
01:10:58,520 --> 01:11:02,400
is for people to understand the
qualifications of this disease

1547
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:05,600
is a disease as if it affects
you mentally and physically.

1548
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:07,800
OK, the mentally is the insanity
part.

1549
01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:11,040
You're not thinking straight.
You know, I overdosed 7 times

1550
01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:13,880
and I literally got right out of
the hospital to go get the drug

1551
01:11:13,880 --> 01:11:16,480
that just killed me, which is
insanity.

1552
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:20,840
Like we're not thinking right.
And the physical part is the

1553
01:11:20,840 --> 01:11:23,560
allergy.
We cannot do drugs and drink

1554
01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:25,480
like other for people and that's
OK.

1555
01:11:25,840 --> 01:11:28,280
And you're exactly like me, you
know, I can't casually

1556
01:11:28,280 --> 01:11:30,760
recreationally do it.
I'll be fucking gone for weeks

1557
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:34,560
or months or die and that's OK.
So you have the disease, you're

1558
01:11:34,560 --> 01:11:37,120
not thinking right and it's
affecting you right now.

1559
01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:42,080
And we can get you past this.
We can work with you, you know,

1560
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:46,120
like I would just absolutely say
that recovery is possible and I

1561
01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:49,240
can, that is my whole baseline.
Like I have been there.

1562
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:52,480
You can see photos of me, and
I'll help you through it.

1563
01:11:52,480 --> 01:11:53,880
Like, don't.
Don't give in.

1564
01:11:53,880 --> 01:11:55,720
Like, don't.
You're stronger than that.

1565
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:58,280
You're better than this, man.
Like, fuck this disease.

1566
01:11:58,280 --> 01:11:59,680
Fuck addiction.
Yeah.

1567
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:02,560
It doesn't have that power.
And don't give it that power.

1568
01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:04,120
Don't.
There's three examples right

1569
01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:04,880
here.
Yeah.

1570
01:12:05,400 --> 01:12:06,000
Mm.
Hmm.

1571
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:08,200
Down to each other, right?
Yeah, and then that's why the

1572
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:10,080
more exposure.
I love what you guys are doing

1573
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:12,320
and having this being having
guests and letting them Share

1574
01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:14,440
your story.
I have so much respect for you

1575
01:12:14,440 --> 01:12:16,240
and the people.
Who think that you guys, we have

1576
01:12:16,240 --> 01:12:18,640
a few different messages.
Thank you for saying that.

1577
01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:21,280
But this is one that's near and
dear to our heart because we

1578
01:12:21,280 --> 01:12:23,720
wouldn't be sitting here talking
to you and you wouldn't be

1579
01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:26,080
talking to us if we had not all
made that choice.

1580
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:29,680
So, yeah, congratulations to
you, too, on your sobriety.

1581
01:12:29,680 --> 01:12:32,800
And remember, thank you.
Remember how good you feel now

1582
01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:35,440
and how bad you felt then.
That's what I always remember.

1583
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:37,560
Yeah.
Yeah, it's what keeps me sober.

1584
01:12:37,560 --> 01:12:39,960
When people ask me that, I said
the idea of having to

1585
01:12:39,960 --> 01:12:42,480
withdrawal, Yeah.
And I feel good and I have no

1586
01:12:42,480 --> 01:12:45,040
desire to escape.
And that's the other thing about

1587
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:48,120
this, this whole recovery thing.
And I'm trying to push this on

1588
01:12:48,120 --> 01:12:52,200
people like you need to heal
like you have been destroyed and

1589
01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:54,800
broken and scarred and
traumatized during your

1590
01:12:54,800 --> 01:12:57,240
addiction.
It's going to take time.

1591
01:12:57,240 --> 01:12:58,960
And you, you know, it's not just
that being.

1592
01:12:58,960 --> 01:13:01,000
Sober when you're in the middle
of it.

1593
01:13:01,480 --> 01:13:03,640
Yeah, and you know.
It's going to take time and that

1594
01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:06,680
part scares.
You totally because we all want

1595
01:13:06,680 --> 01:13:08,680
that quick fix like and that's
the attic mind.

1596
01:13:09,480 --> 01:13:13,000
But like the what people don't
understand, and I try to like

1597
01:13:13,040 --> 01:13:16,200
this is one of the big things
I'm trying to teach people is

1598
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:20,440
recovery is not just sobriety.
Recovery, being off drugs and

1599
01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:23,120
alcohol is one little tiny part.
Really.

1600
01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:26,400
The second part is the healing.
You have to heal.

1601
01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,920
You have to fix yourself.
Like I thought I had a drug

1602
01:13:28,920 --> 01:13:31,040
problem, but I had a Jeremy
problem.

1603
01:13:31,040 --> 01:13:32,160
I was.
Fucking broken.

1604
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:33,880
Me too.
Yeah.

1605
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:37,840
And so, you know, we had to, I
just want to like share that

1606
01:13:37,840 --> 01:13:40,280
message with people and I want
to just like really, really

1607
01:13:40,280 --> 01:13:42,280
push.
Like it's not just getting off

1608
01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:45,920
the drugs, get some trauma
therapy, get some awesome, get a

1609
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:48,880
peer support worker.
Like get he'll do the steps, do

1610
01:13:48,880 --> 01:13:50,800
your inventories, do your do it
all.

1611
01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:53,600
Yeah, because, you know, you're
less prone to relapse because

1612
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:56,400
you're fixing that neural
pathway that is that escape.

1613
01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:58,560
Fuck it button.
We got to get rid of that.

1614
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:01,120
Yeah, we should.
Hey, he's Jeremy Cross,

1615
01:14:01,360 --> 01:14:03,560
jeremycross.ca.
Go find his book and buy it.

1616
01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:05,880
It's finding my lost life to
fall to addiction and rise

1617
01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:07,680
recovery.
He's an amazing human.

1618
01:14:07,680 --> 01:14:10,520
We just met him and it's I'm
just, if I could give you a hug,

1619
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:12,400
I would give you a hug.
Absolutely.

1620
01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:14,240
You know, virtual hug, brother,
because it's.

1621
01:14:14,320 --> 01:14:16,720
Just, I mean, I, Mike and I are
so appreciative of people that

1622
01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:19,200
share their stories because
again, we both come from that

1623
01:14:19,200 --> 01:14:22,680
world.
And, and when I, when I, when I

1624
01:14:22,680 --> 01:14:25,240
stopped drinking, all my friends
at the time, they kind of

1625
01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:27,400
laughed at me and said, Oh,
you'll never last, you know, And

1626
01:14:27,400 --> 01:14:28,840
then I lost all my friends
because.

1627
01:14:29,720 --> 01:14:31,200
You find out they weren't your
friends.

1628
01:14:31,280 --> 01:14:34,120
Right, they just it goes back to
that dark psychology and the

1629
01:14:34,120 --> 01:14:35,640
vampire personalized things like
that.

1630
01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:38,320
So again, thank you so much for
coming on today.

1631
01:14:39,200 --> 01:14:42,120
Again, one more time, there's a
jeremycross.ca and that's

1632
01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:48,560
JEREMYCROS s.ca.ca because he's
in Canada a even though even

1633
01:14:48,560 --> 01:14:52,040
though he doesn't say a go get
his book.

1634
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:54,520
This was just a little piece of
his life and we would love to

1635
01:14:54,520 --> 01:14:57,360
have you back on, you know your.
Yeah, let me get your book and

1636
01:14:57,360 --> 01:14:59,640
let me read it and.
Yeah, that'd be cool.

1637
01:14:59,640 --> 01:15:02,120
We'll have back on it.
I'm sure I'll have 100 questions

1638
01:15:02,120 --> 01:15:03,080
after that for.
Sure.

1639
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:04,920
And that's for sure.
And that's why I kind of

1640
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:07,120
prevented you from giving all
the details, because I want

1641
01:15:07,120 --> 01:15:09,320
people to go read your book.
Yes, please go get his book.

1642
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:12,280
This has been amazing.
I I thank you, too, for coming

1643
01:15:12,280 --> 01:15:14,120
on and having the courage to
tell your story.

1644
01:15:14,120 --> 01:15:16,480
And you, you did it very well.
And I think there's a lot of

1645
01:15:16,480 --> 01:15:18,480
important information out there
for people.

1646
01:15:18,480 --> 01:15:19,160
So.
Yeah.

1647
01:15:19,480 --> 01:15:20,400
Thank you.
Thank you guys.

1648
01:15:20,520 --> 01:15:22,480
I appreciate.
That eloquent every eloquent

1649
01:15:22,480 --> 01:15:26,360
Jeremy and and remember as we we
always wrap up with this, don't

1650
01:15:26,360 --> 01:15:29,520
let the bad days win everybody,
every attic's broken as we just

1651
01:15:29,520 --> 01:15:32,160
kind of alluded to, but there's
somebody there that's going to

1652
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:34,360
miss you if you're gone so don't
do that reach out for help if

1653
01:15:34,360 --> 01:15:37,080
you're in Canada, go to
jeremycross.ca and there's a

1654
01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:38,560
link down the thing you can talk
to him.

1655
01:15:38,600 --> 01:15:41,080
He can help you get out of your
darkness, right?

1656
01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:42,120
Because.
Amen.

1657
01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:44,000
You want to talk about darkness?
Amen.

1658
01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:45,960
Jeremy's been with darkness.
Yeah, you beat.

1659
01:15:46,120 --> 01:15:48,560
You beat my story, man.
I always tell people you're on

1660
01:15:48,560 --> 01:15:49,680
parallel.
You win.

1661
01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:53,720
You win bro.
You win for sure nothing but

1662
01:15:53,720 --> 01:15:55,840
love man appreciate you being on
definitely want to have you

1663
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:57,800
back.
Keep keep doing all the

1664
01:15:57,800 --> 01:15:59,840
wonderful things you're doing.
We're going to post your stuff

1665
01:15:59,840 --> 01:16:02,840
on on our Facebook page and our
Instagram page.

1666
01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:05,440
Once the show airs, MM breaks it
all down.

1667
01:16:05,440 --> 01:16:07,520
So once we figure that out, it
will let you know I'll keep in

1668
01:16:07,520 --> 01:16:10,760
contact with you 100% and then
look forward to watching your

1669
01:16:10,760 --> 01:16:12,520
journey, man, watching you grow.
You're good.

1670
01:16:12,520 --> 01:16:14,360
You're a good human, I
appreciate it very much.

1671
01:16:14,360 --> 01:16:16,280
Absolutely.
Thank you back at you guys all.

1672
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:17,320
Right.
You guys have a great day.

1673
01:16:17,320 --> 01:16:18,280
We'll talk to you.
Soon.

1674
01:16:18,280 --> 01:16:19,760
See you guys.
Peace, brother.

1675
01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:47,440
Feel the true behind your eyes.
Feel the soap and meet yourself.

1676
01:16:52,920 --> 01:16:55,920
Take a moment, look until you
see it.

1677
01:16:57,120 --> 01:16:59,880
Watch the battle, that's you for
the clear.

1678
01:17:01,280 --> 01:17:04,280
Watch the battle, look you for
clear.

1679
01:17:05,200 --> 01:17:13,680
Who will be baby till you see
it?

1680
01:18:04,320 --> 01:18:30,390
None.
Come down here, we haven't found

1681
01:18:30,470 --> 01:18:34,630
solids in your sand from
fighting.

1682
01:18:35,510 --> 01:18:38,710
Wait for the dead.
When you close.

1683
01:18:38,790 --> 01:18:42,310
Your eyes and.
Get put in the wind, you ain't

1684
01:18:42,510 --> 01:18:46,350
no creature.
We're playing man, and you

1685
01:18:46,510 --> 01:18:51,430
should you press on the almighty
man, you got a dream.

1686
01:18:52,550 --> 01:18:59,200
Who is your life to keep up soul
in every town.

1687
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:04,440
Take the trail behind your eyes.
Feel the soul revolution now.

1688
01:19:04,480 --> 01:19:13,360
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

1689
01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:18,760
Take your moment.
Listen to your fear.

1690
01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:22,840
Fight the battle into you more
clear.

1691
01:19:48,710 --> 01:19:53,190
You gotta, you gotta.
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta.